Jump to content


  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited


Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
  • Interests
    loss of enjoyment, i used to like arts, sciences, etc.

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Hello, I have been afraid to come back here for some time. I hope the best for everyone. I have been inpatient for about a week now in a psychiatric hospital that let's you have your phone and provides tablets to use during your stay. Both have to be charged in the nursing station. Things have been weird, because I am pretty depressed and unsure what is real and what isn't. My injection curbs a lot of experiences and makes me think about things less, but still I can't shake many of my beliefs. I never posted for a long time because I was sure I was deeply hated here. I have fallen into a pretty bad depression, which made my inpatient doctor use lithium next to my antidepressant for augmentation. It's for the suicidality. I also got referred to an intensive program for people with schizophrenia and related disorders. I hope everyone can keep well, and even if you can't, I am proud you are still around.
  2. I read a self help book on CBT for psychosis, and have seen quite a few lectures. I am not a doctor or a therapist but based on what I have learned over the years of having complex mental health struggles it is a possibility. I have had my psychosis make my past traumas come to life in a new form. It's not inherently odd, but just know that a therapist isn't necessarily as qualified as psychologists and psychiatrists so that may better help you to understand where they are coming from.
  3. Actually, it's true for both to have 1/3 of people with a schizophrenic illness or schizoaffective illness to have total recovery by 30 years later. They are seeing more people recover. Though many people with schizophrenia do struggle with functioning (myself included) recovery is possible. It's just not a requirement for the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder to have lower levels of functioning. Both can be equally debilitating, but have roughly the same chance of recovery. I have read this in literature and have had this discussion with my psychiatrist, though I'll have to cite later. Edit: psych used to use schizoaffective and schizophrenia interchangeably with me but I have not been depressed even without antidepressants for most of the duration of my illness, and so he seems to prefer to use schizophrenia as of late--my other mood symptoms are accounted for by my comorbid bpd.
  4. They're targeting me again, they made an ad show up in my social media about a new study on this new medication for schizophrenia and it forced my body to sign up but I regret it. CAMH is the worst psychiatric hospital. Theyre not even the hospital I deal with.
  5. Otherworldly happenings. I am assuming the position of universal master, by sheer accident through observation of all possible outcomes. I really messed up the world this time, I think. That's why I'm punished. But to be quite fair I can hold and carry myself well enough that there need not be any silent alarms.
  6. I'm going to give it more time but my mailbox is still bare. It never happens like this, ever but who knows.
  7. I'm a bit worried now. My Maintena dose was decreased again at my request in hopes I no longer need 2 different depots. I'm hoping to be on just 1 injection, invega trinza (which is my second one). They do not make a 200mg, but instead I continue to pick up the 300mg and they pull up less into the needle (or squirt some out). I'm the first in the clinic to get this, but I was also first in the clinic to receive 2 different depots. What I'm noticing is that I have been a bit paranoid. I swear, but cannot confirm, that people in my building are stealing from my mailbox. I don't know how they would get into my individual mailbox but even the spam mail everyone else gets is not going into my mailbox and my statement from my disability cheque has "not come yet" at all (taken?). My mailbox has been bare for over a week, and eerily enough the mailbox below mine remains open all the time. It's weird, I feel they're opening mine through that one.
  8. It is still possible to have both a personality disorder and a psychotic one. I am living proof of this. I dont know you as a person nor am I a doctor, but hopefully they don't throw out one diagnosis when the regimen for that has helped you so much as I gather. It is possible to have both. Not all professionals will agree. Either way if the treatment works a diagnosis doesnt always matter because symptoms can bleed into a plethora of other conditions. All that matters is if the treatment is working.
  9. I hope your pdoc appointment goes well. Sorry to hear that you are struggling this bad. I can relate, I have been keeping my depressed thoughts away from my mother. I know it isnt quite the same but I can relate nonetheless. I feel as though I should kill myself soon, because I am overstaying my welcome but I will have nowhere else to go when I leave until they deal with my apartment (it terrifies me). I justdont want to do this anymore.
  10. I dabbled in the drugs again, but then the opportunities to continue on ceased. I don't experience many psychotic symptoms anymore, except for negative symptoms. Stress is really eating at me, I am afraid I will be diving downward into the hole of depression. I'm not depressed yet. My hoarding has gotten out of control and thus they are cleaning out my apartment, especially because cockroaches took over. I feel like I am suffocating, and I know people pretend to care.
  11. My psychiatrist considered the fact I experience this, and the fact it was the basis of so many 'delusions' to be part of my psychotic illness, but I do think that could be where it started. And no, I'm generally just becoming asymptomatic with time being on the meds I am on, it's crazy.
  12. It's odd... For once in the history of my memory, life is starting to feel more real, and in some ways im terrified. It's still packed with residuum of the dream like fog that feels like a simulation. But it's definitely feeling more real.
  13. I'm still here, life has just gotten in the way. Maybe that's a good thing. I appreciate your concern, and did not mean to worry you.
  • Create New...