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Bostonian Aspergian

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  1. As an former engineer, we design things to come with "reasonable default settings". Reasonable default settings means if the user of the product doesn't change any settings with the device they'll get OK to good results. The extra settings usually are for when you have extra dirty clothes or clothes that need to be washed gently. Don't worry, your new washer has a computer with the power of an iPhone 5 and can figure out how to best wash your clothes.
  2. Feeling the best I've felt in 5 years! But I had to be hospitalized for a week to get there.
  3. Good news: found a therapist that specializes in PTSD *and* Aspergers. However there are a few things that concern me: Overbooks herself. You gotta jump on the next available appointment or not see her for weeks. Demands response on communications within 12-24 hours. Otherwise she passes you over to the next client on her list. Communication only via SMS message or phone call. No e-mail. That's kinda hard given my executive function issues and my fine motor skills which make SMS hard. Seems to project an attitude of "I'm really in demand so you play by my rules" Generally hard to do business with. Thoughts? Should I hire her or move on the the others on my shopping list?
  4. I'm considering treatment for alcohol. However my fear is that if I'm labeled an addict that I will be cut off from adderall which i use responsibly. Will I be banned from receiving prescriptions for adderall if I come clean on my alcohol self-medication?
  5. I found a therapist close to my house whom I clicked on an emotional and intellectual level. Sessions were going well. Breakthroughs were happening. 2 months in, I start to have financial problems and stop retiring his calls because I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm broke. I suspected that I burnt a bridge with this therapist. But I really like this guy and want him back. How can I approach him to ask to take be back as a client?
  6. "You're using your ASD as a crutch" This was when I tried to explain to my mom how my brain processes things. I was hoping that information would help her better communicate with me.
  7. Computers that try to be smart actually aren't. They're as clever as the team of programmers writing the code for it. A classic example is the ELIZA computer program that mimics a therapist. However ELIZA is dumber than the therapist I had in 2012. That's because computers are not sophisticated enough to have the level of learning and insight people do. The predictive text has a set of instructions to follow based upon what you type, a formula to follow, and analyzing your e-mails and text messages. However it can be easily outsmarted because at the end of the day, it's a dumb machine.
  8. There's a combination of artificial intelligence, special algorithms in the code, and math that makes the predictive text happen. The software is learning how you use your phone or computer and can predict what you are typing based upon past keystrokes or common patterns.
  9. I have a friend whom I was in a bromance with had a recurring "bro's quarrel" that escalated to a toxic level between us. His way to deal is to stonewall me and ghost me. This has been affecting me deeply and making my depression worse. Mutual friends reported that I was "dead to him". That hurt deeply. Eventually I had to force his hand or I was not going to be able to heal. I showed up at his office after work. Awkward as hell. Expressed that I missed him and cared very much for him. Then asked if we can just be civil and cordial to each other so that it's not awkward for our mutual friends. He agreed. I shook his hand then departed. I feel so much better now. I can move on with my life. If my ex-bro wants to rekindle a friendship, I'm receptive to that but by no means I will entertain re-entering a bromance because it's an toxic ingredient in our friendship. And I won't take him on as a consulting client again because some of his family members he has hired are utterly toxic.
  10. I need to get out of this funk fast! I'm oversleeping, have zero energy, spend my days in a fetal position in bed, bad attitude, irritable, agitated, crying spells, angry outbursts, and I have zero energy or motivation. What meds should I be discussing with my pdoc to help the SAD in addition to what I'm taking for my MDD? Should I switch thr Prozac to Zoloft? Go back to Wellbutrin XR 300 mg? Switch to cymbalta? Is is there a new med I should try?
  11. I was on a great path towards remission. Things were going great until last October when I had a fight with a friend who cut me out. Then my relationship with my girlfriend was getting strained due to finances. Then I stated to ruminate about my lack of a social life and how lonely I am. Also the typical signs of fall which is the season when my father died 6 years ago. So throw in parental grief into the mix. Then the days stated to get shorter. And I stated to regress back into a dark place with suicidal thoughts triggered by the thought of never being able to talk to my ex BFF ever again, my failings with making new friends, and unresolved issues with my late father. Also my former friend asked me not to come back to the peer support group he runs. I have friends and social supports from ex-friends peer group. About a a week and a half ago, the energy and life force evaporated. I stated oversleeeping or having bad bouts of insomnia. I have zero drive or motivation. It's definitely SAD affecting my MDD. I don't want to be this depressed, cranky, morose, or irritable. What should I change in my treatment plans to turn things around? I see a therapist for CBT. I'm overdue for a med review and adjustment. Currently on 20 mg Prozac, 75 mg bupropion, 50 mg lamactil, 10 mg ambien. I'm also binge drinking to drown out the negative thoughts and emotions. This happens every year come October. What should I change in my meds or therapy to get my SAD and MDD back under control so that I can stop isolating myself, hiding in bed, drinking heavily, dreading living my life, and ruminating over cringe-worthy fails? I'm a mess. I worked so hard to get myself out of depression but all that work has evaporated. Help!
  12. I should of said my girlfriend has PMDD and acts out her issues by being quite salty. Then again I still would of been called out on being a sexist pig on this forum. Understand that the time period of my original post I endured a tirade of "when are you going to get a real job", "I own this fucking house I can throw you out", then later in the day "I guess I will be a robot" when I told her attitude was bringing me down. And I really don't have a place in her home (not mine) to go hide because my man cave was taken over by her mild hording. Neraly everthing is hers and she doesn't let me forget that. So forgive me for lacking tact while I was upset. It's hard to love and live with a partner who is hostile during certain times of the calendar to the point where you plan your life to avoid him or her for a week or two. I'm a consultant so it's not like I have an office to go to. My family lives far away. I'm trying to not cope by using alcohol these days but I used to hang out in bars near her house. Screw this. I'm going every night to the bar and get wasted. Then I can come back here and post about how depressed I am and that I'm in crisis again.
  13. I'm getting tired of being with a bitchy, crabby girlfriend that spews negative rants over petty things that irritate her. And there are many of those. The negativity feeds into my depression and I'm trying to bring her bad attitude to her attention so that she is aware of it. I just asked her to stop ranting about someone's 1 star review on Yelp and her reaction was "ok, I'll be a robot now". Usually I'll just leave the house and not communicate with her until she's in a better mood. But this that time of the month and I'm running out of place to go hang out while she is in one of her many foul moods. What can. I do make my home life and relationship better?
  14. Overwhelmed with sadness. I hate October. My dad died in October. Then I hyperfocus on how few friends I have. I'm trying not to break apart but I'm struggling.

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