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YAY Lysergia! I come back, and it's like.. different! But the same! But different! It's good to see you Yes, this too. I didn't really mention it since the topic was BPD. I helped plan a sexuality and AS conference in the past, and the researcher, at least in person, seemed to respect the ability of autistic people to know how they experienced their gender and sexuality. As opposed to some professional views that block autistic trans people from access that non-autistic trans people have, because of some BS lack of insight argument. (ETA: other MI dxes may also be a barrier to access to

A pdoc who was trying to pursue BPD with me was trying to pin down my sexuality and "use" my bisexuality (and at the time, pretty intense confusion around it) as a marker of unstable identity. Well, I suppose technically my sexual identity was shifting, but I have a pretty strong reaction to that identity piece (of the BPD dx) in general but specifically when it comes to sexuality because it IS fluid. I still want to mail that pdoc a package of Judith Butler's seminal works for toilet reading. Now, distress over it being fluid? That happens. I blame a messed up culture that has remove

I totally dig the not liking progressive muscle relaxation through clenching, if I'm in any kind of group where they lead us in that I opt out. Clenching the muscle can 'trick' it, not only because it provides your brain with a contrast sensation to being relaxed, but for perpetually tight muscles, contracting the entire muscle can help it actually relax. A possible alternative to laying there and focusing on that icky sensation would be weight lifting followed by stretching. However; as someone who also doesn't like the relaxation technique of contracting muscles, I also seem to be unable to

I take clonazepam PRN for mainly sensory issues which contribute to my anxiety. I don't really know whether clonazepam is helping the actual sensory issues or whether it just reduces the anxiety associated with it, thereby actually allowing me to function better in spite of sensory challenges. Presumably both. I take it PRN about once a week or less. I also take Lamotrigine. If I miss a dose, I experience effects that could be described as an 'aura'; I often don't realize why I feel so funny. For perhaps a more relevant anecdote, I'll share the experience of my SO who has been on clonazepa

partly posting because less able to keep it hidden partly posting to ask about other autistic experiences, maybe with being able to control it. or how to deal with not being able to control it. it's not a bad thing that other people with tourettes, ocd, hypomania, adhd, or anyone even without any brain cooties has some type of diversion response to discomfort. of course people will. it just feels like a bad thing to me when the way this is shared is "oh, that's not just autistics/bipolars/green aliens (read, what the fuck was this topic for anyway -- or i never bothered to read what forumC

i do preemptive stuff too. im basically referring to a non-verbal state that happens - hence the use of the word *vocalize* - when ive withdrawn (for whatever reason). it doesn't just happen when i've 'said something stupid' but sometimes just from an interaction, and "seeing myself". i save it all up if i can control all those finger movements (like playing a piano with no piano there). but then when i am alone, it all lets go. you should just delete this topic, nalgas -- apparently everybody flaps.

also pretty cool - i went batshit and inpatient on celexa. a lot later i was put on cipralex/lexapro. ah, the blurring between education and marketing. it's really happening everywhere. future shop in the classroom (as long as you paint the room FS colours we'll give you computers!)... history books (no, the other guys were evil barbarians)... a marxism and capitalism lecture thanks for sharing, opie

but it's kind of demonstrative in some small way (im referring to this discomfort) soooooo, if there's something that happens that i feel all discombobulated about, i have to make a sound or movement to dissipate the feeling. so sometimes i leave a place, get in my car, and if i realize 'oh shit, i said something really stupid back there' i flap and vocalize. i can mainly control it around other people. occasionally i can't. hrm. i guess this is more of an 'anyone else' kind of topic. anyone else?

I was saying how it didn't matter whether it was a little shock or big shock... shock is shock and, to me, not an acceptable practice. I actually thought I was treading lightly, as "NTs" are always told to do. I didn't think you were doing anything problematic, opie. just to clarify that. I think i understood and I agreed with what you said. I just had to respond to/concur with the sentiment that stomping all over the opinions of autistic people in the autie space is touchy. and probably something to be aware of. i hope it didn't sound like i was suggesting that non-auties should