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Darth beta

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  1. I don't have any support. I only have a 100 year old GP and this is well beyond her. Sort of new to this whole thing but maybe I will take the tapered approach instead of going cold turkey.
  2. I drink a litre of red wine every night and have done so for the past 4 years or so. In fact I'm so addicted that 2 years ago I decided to lose weight and had to cut my calories in half but those calories were all food cals because I couldn't bear (bare?) to reduce my wine cals. So now I hardly eat anything all day so I can still drink and lose weight. But I've developed severe anxiety and was recently prescribed ADs and it was clearly explained to me not to drink while taking them and yet I did. But I am supposed to up my dosage and I think it's a bad idea to do that until I quit. So what kind of detox am I looking at here? What can I do to lessen the physical symptoms of withdrawal? I've got a full time job and it's my busiest time of the year so I can't be laid up in bed. Any tips would be appreciated.
  3. I've had it since I was a toddler and I'm 36 now. I've only been able to resist if my hair is super short. I'm fortunate that my hair is super thick and I mostly pull from behind my ears so mine isn't as noticeable but I'm definitely self conscience when I go for hair cuts. I try and allow myself to play with my hair and resist the urge to actually pull it out but that only works if I'm not stressed or if I'm actually consciously doing it.
  4. I'm with Lexie. I do it to punish myself for being so awful.
  5. I have two little boys 7 and 5 and I already see signs of mental illness. The 7 year old probably has ADHD and the little guy looks like he might have some OCD, he's been a skin picker and nail biter for years and once he gets a thought in his head he can't get it out. You're a good mom with bad genes.
  6. I got pregnant with my first 3 months after my mom died of cancer so I was already pretty unstable emotionally. The pregnancy itself wasn't bad but the birth was pretty traumatic. Inducing nurse gave me way too much pitocin so my first contraction lasted 5 minutes and when it was over the bed was soaked with blood. Then babies head was tilted wrong (brow presentation) so I had to have a c-section. When they gave me the spinal I stopped breathing. They gave me general anesthic but didn't tell me what was going on so I thought it was death pulling me under. I just kept thinking "close your eyes and you're dead!" Then I woke up with a tube in my throat. They gave me morphine and wouldn't let me see the baby until I made a big deal and my SIL promised to stay the night with me. The next three days are a blur. Me and the baby were so high and exhausted that I didn't wake to feed him and he didn't wake to eat. So I just remember getting yelled a lot by the nurses. Besides that first night I was alone. After three days in the hospital we went home. Husband went to work two days later. When my son was about 7 days old he woke up and didn't sleep for more than an hour or so at a time for the next 6 months. All he did was BF and cry. I took him to the doctor because I thought he was sick and the dr said he had colic. I was devastated! I swore my husband to secrecy and lied to everyone. All day long the baby cried and all day long I cried. I resented him and was sure he hated me. And the BF was awful. I never made enough milk so although I was feeding him all the time he didn't gain as quick as he should have. And we had persistent thrush. And then I kept getting mastitis (it feels like you are BF a piranha). I now know how mothers can hurt their babies. I never hurt him but I cut myself a lot. And I hid it from everyone because I just wanted to be perfect. I thought if my dr found out for sure they would take my baby away. It took me years to bond with him. Now I'm honest with new mums. I talk openly with them about how it was for me so they at least can have one person to confide in if things get bad.
  7. I've had mental illness issues since I was very young (trichotillomania at age 3 until now) and tried various ADs in my teens (cut up my arm real bad and swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills) They messed me right up and I swore I would never take them again. I told myself to suck it up and just be normal. 16 years later and one serious alcohol addiction plus debilitating anxiety attacks and guess what? I have no choice but to take ADs. It's my absolute last resort and definitely not something I ever wanted to be taking. I eat healthy, go to the gym regularily, have lost 80 pounds, been at the same job for 12 years (I LOVE my job) have stable income, awesome kids, lots of friends and a very loving religious community and am so miserable I drink a litre of wine every night and cut often. The chemicals in my brain are just not right, no other possible explanation.
  8. Hi. I don't know what to say either.
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