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Foggy Brain

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  1. I started taking dexedrine for focus and it has really helped with my apathy. My doc was going to do a whole switch of my meds but after starting dex, things are much better. I'm interested in things again.
  2. When I'm feeling this way, the noises people make send me over the edge. I feel horrible for feeling so angry when it happens and most of the time I can keep it under wraps but it takes a while to calm down again.
  3. Keep fighting Rainman. When I'm low, I can never see the way back up but that's a lie the disease tells you.
  4. Be patient with yourself while tapering. Effexor's a bitch that doesn't want to break up with you. Make sure you have your doc's support through this. Best of luck.
  5. I read "Delivered from Distraction." Actually I listened to it on a long road trip. It was an aha! moment. That's when I started investigating whether I ad ADD. Stimulants have helped for sure but when things get really bad, I still have to fight like hell to give a s**t.
  6. Hopelessness is part of the illness. It's funny how others can't see it and even when I'm not sick, I can't see how I could be so hopeless. Maybe your pdoc will have some insight. Best wishes.
  7. Thanks Jessamine, As much as I worry about people finding out, I'm tired of pretending. I was thinking about everything last night and I think one of the things I worry about with people finding out is that they will pity me. I know people don't mean to and I try to remember that. I'll have to come up with a way of dealing with it positively. I am slowly working toward openly owning this MI. For better or worse, it's a part of who I am.
  8. Someone I know came out with one post to everyone. It was clear, concise and unapologetic. I had no idea she was gay before the post so it seemed out of the blue to me but I was very impressed with the way she did it. I know I sent her a message of support and it seems to me most of the feedback she got was very positive. Best of luck and take strength from those who love you.
  9. I remember when this study hit the news. I can't for the life of me remember who did it. The risk of Alzheimer's is increased by 50% in seniors who take benzos for long term. I was freaking out too until I listened to the author talking about it and she said it was in senior citizens. If you are over 65, you are already at risk for some kind of dementia anyway and elderly people shouldn't be on benzos if it can be helped because they get different side effects than the general public - that's why they use trazadone in the elderly. I'm sure if you google it, you'll find the study. I don't think there's any reason to panic though. Pun unintended.
  10. Thanks Wooster. I think I want to start owning my MI. It's just sometimes a bit scary.
  11. I'm not really looking for advice or anything. I just need to put these thoughts down somewhere in the hopes that it will help me work through this. My pdoc wants to switch my meds because mine aren't working anymore. That's fine but my dream job just came up and I got it. That in itself is okay - a little scary at a time when I need to change meds but not necessarily unsurmountable. In addition to that, I have my grandmother at home and she's really old and to take the job I need to find someone to stay with her. I have some people but they have schedules so I have to juggle their schedules to make sure I have coverage. When I read this as though someone else wrote it - it looks challenging but doable but in my head it's just overwhelming. Also as I read this I get this feeling that the series of circumstances in my life make me identifiable and someone from work will read this and know it's me. That in itself is a whole other issue. The minute chance that someone would read this and know my identity is very improbable and if they did - so what? Except that then I'd have the MI stigma to deal with at work too. That in itself is kind of amusing because I'm the one who advocates for others with MI at work so if I want to talk the talk, I'd better walk the walk. Oh man, I'm rambling. I'm gonna need a blog soon.
  12. feeling completely overwhelmed

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