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MattMVS7

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Posts posted by MattMVS7


  1. The thing is, I'm not even sure if I have schizophrenia even though my doctor diagnosed me with it.  Schizophrenics are unable to perceive reality.  But if you told me the facts of reality, then I would be able to perceive those facts as true whereas a schizoprhenic wouldn't be able to.  But can schizoprhenics perceive reality anyway?  Also, I don't hear voices or see things.


  2. I will also add that the med that helps me the most with anhedonia is Abilify. It is a D2 partial agonist which means it regulates dopamine and doesn't simply block it. I'm not recommending it to you as that is between you and your doctor. I'm just saying what has helped me.

     

    Also, larkspur is correct: The more you focus on your lack of pleasure, the less likely you will experience pleasure. It feeds on itself. The best way to break out is to develop interests and/or hobbies and pleasure will begin to appear. It will be slow at first, but you will eventually find that you are enjoying things again.

     

    Although I appreciate your advice here, I'm not sure my anhedonia has anything at all to do with the way I think.  It might actually be a physical problem with the brain.  So this is why I need to try forms of treatment that addresses this sort of issue.  I just wish I knew for a fact what is going on with me so that I can use the correct methods to address my anhedonia.  I wish there was some way we could scan my brain and tell exactly what is wrong.


  3.  

    What I'm trying to do here is make people realize that nothing they can tell me can ever change my immense value towards my pleasure. 

     

    Mission accomplished.

     

    I want them to no longer try to convince me that there are other good things I can live for and to no longer convince me that I can still find worth and such in this life without my feelings of pleasure.

     

    You have entirely misunderstood the purpose of this site, which is the opposite of what you want.  You will not obtain what you want here.  We will not validate self-injurious nonsense.  I would add that your choice of phases such as "my good life" and "my feelings of pleasure" necessarily infer that you have no interest in equivalent discussion of anyone else's life or pleasure, and can therefore have no reasonable expectation of empathy.

     

     If they do try to convince me, then I post these long-winded refutations in return so that they realize that there is truly no reason for me to find worth and good value in my own personal life without my feelings of pleasure.

     

    That has yet to occur despite reams of redundancy on your part, and suggests a change in strategy.

     

     I want these people to instead respond to me in such a way that says: "I see.  I realize that your feelings of pleasure are the one and only things of good value to you in your personal life and just how much you must have them back.  I will no longer try to convince you otherwise and I fully respect your hedonistic values."

     

    Your chances of obtaining full respect from anyone via your present course of action is akin to your chance of obtaining a round-trip ticket to the Moon next week.  I might add that calling your own evidently compassionate mother 'unintelligent' in a public forum marks you as an boorish cad undeserving of any consideration whatever.

     

    My feelings of pleasure are all that matter to me in terms of my own personal life and nothing else will ever matter to me in terms of my own personal life I live for myself.

     

    Obviously.

     

    If they are people who call me selfish, disrespect me, call me a crybaby, etc., then the same thing also applies.  I will post long-winded refutations to these people and their claims that I am selfish and such so that they have full respect and compassion towards me and respect my hedonistic values and no longer call me such names anymore or mock me in any other given way.  In other words, I just want these types of people to be quiet and to respect my hedonistic values.  If these people insist on calling me names anyway and in displaying a tonality towards me that I deem as disrespect, then I will become abusive towards these people.

     

    Not here, you won't.  If you become abuse you will be in violation of the User Agreement and you will be excommunicated tout-suite. The idea that this entire community must suddenly adhere to your highly subjective and overly sensitive personal sense of 'tonality' is laughable.  You make yourself a laughing-stock by the mere statement.

     

     My feelings of pleasure are my own personal life here that I absolutely must fully have back in my life and you should respect that.

     

    I'm afraid that, like everyone else here, I am just now overburdened by a considerable weight of problems of my own in which you are patently uninterested, and I can therefore waste no further time on yours.  You are invited to exit by the nearest log-out.  Good-day.

     

     

    Cerberus

    Moderator

     

     

    First off, I do care for others and their personal lives as well.  It's just that I'm simply not the type of person to ask about a person's personal life.  I instead care for these people in other ways besides engaging in a conversation with them about their personal lives.  For example, with my mother, I care for her.  But I don't engage in a conversation about her personal life.  Also, I am not demeaning in calling my mother unintelligent.  She really doesn't know much about science or anything else.  So that is what I mean when I say she is unintelligent.  When I say she is unintelligent, I do not mean that she is "stupid and retarded" or anything demeaning of the sort here.

     

    As for me being abusive, I won't since I was told by the staff not to.  But as for the tonality, going up and disrespecting someone you don't know is the wrong thing to do and is not how you would make friends.  Everyone deserves respect.  Saying that you have the right to disrespect people upon meeting them is no different than saying that Hitler had every right to disrespect the Jews and also to harm them while I'm at it.  This also applies to disrespecting innocent people you do know.  So this is why you should never display a disrespectful tone towards me since I am a respectful innocent person.

     

    So you might then say to me that my acts here of posting these long-winded posts is disrespect.  No, it is not.  Here again, I will point out how it's not.  If you still insist that it is an act of disrespect anyway, then I would ask you how could it.  Therefore, here is my reason for my acts not being disrespect here in quotes below.  One more thing here is that you might say that my long-winded posts are disrespect to your illnesses as well since some people here have a hard time following and reading long posts and having the energy/focus in keeping up with them.  But that is not disrespect either because it is your own choice whether you want to read my posts or not.  I did not write my posts to purposely make you give up, give you a hard time, take away your energy, etc.  That is just how I write and I am the intellectual and reasoning type of person here.  Me also rejecting the opinions of others who tell me that there are other good things in my life and that my life can still be good and worth living without my feelings of pleasure, that is not disrespect either.  It is me trying to make them realize that my feelings of pleasure are my one and only personal good life I must have back.  I am wanting them to realize just how vital that life of pleasure is for me.

     

    But aside from that, I will present that quote here as well:

     

     

    As for that being disrespect, it is not.  Imagine if someone lost the only good thing to him/her in his/her life like me and the only thing that mattered to him/her was for others to respect him/her and for them to truly realize that this good thing he/she lost was the only thing that defined his/her life as good.  But then other people came up to that person and said that it is disrespectful of him/her to even think that way and to talk in long-winded manners to try and convince these people that this good thing was the only thing that made his/her life worth living.

  4. I'm just going to leave this here:

     

    http://sophistsociety.tumblr.com/post/5196531729/paradox-of-hedonism

     

    Keep chasing pleasure and you'll never find it. Pleasure is incidental to other things - interests, relationships, hobbies. Hedonism is a really reductionist approach to happiness, and I don't think it serves anyone well.

     

    Well then, if that's how reality works.  If reality itself has disrespect towards me by not giving me the life of full pleasure I need and deserve to have, then I won't have any respect towards this life either in return.  If this life can't live up to my expectations and demands I deserve by giving me my life of full pleasure back, then I will put an end to this life.  It would not make me cowardly or selfish in doing so at all.  It would be no different than if there were bullies in your life (in this case, my anhedonia) who are mocking you and the life you truly wanted to live by taking that only life you wanted to live and found good value in.  But then you decided to put an end to the lives of those bullies.  Or, in this case, me putting an end to my anhedonia by putting an end to my life in the event that my feelings of pleasure can never fully recover.


  5. I plan on taking licorice root sometime since I heard that helps recover anhedonia.  My anhedonia is the result of a dysregulated stress response.  This causes the feelings of pleasure to turn off in order for the brain to try and regulate itself again.  I feel a strong and sort of rapid pulse that I never felt before I had this anhedonia.  Therefore, that must be the dysregulated stress response and I am trying to take licorice root to calm that response down in the hopes that my pleasure can turn back on.


  6.  

    As for that being disrespect, it is not.  Imagine if someone lost the only good thing to him/her life like me and the only thing that mattered to him/her was for others to respect him/her and for them to truly realize that this good thing he/she lost was the only thing that defined his/her life as good.  But then other people came up to that person and said that it is disrespectful of him/her to even think that way and to talk in long-winded manners to try and convince these people that this good thing was the only thing that made his/her life worth living.

     

     

    OK, I get it. You've lost your reason for living. Your mom and your therapist are sad for you, but they aren't really smart enough to understand the full extent of the tragedy. You're hoping that maybe we are. Certainly there are plenty of people here who have dealt with anhedonia and who know how crappy it is. I have, and I do. Consider your feelings validated. You needn't send any more diatribes.

     

    So what else is it that you want, exactly? We don't do pity parties here. We do support for people who are in treatment and trying to get better. Ask a logical question about what other people have done (meds, therapy, etc.) to recover from anhedonia, and you'll start getting useful responses.

     

     

    Actually, it was like this.  My mom and therapist do understand the full extent of my misery.  It's just that I wanted other people to understand as well.  Namely, intelligent people who claim that one's own personal life can still be good and worth living even without feelings of pleasure.  Also, go ahead and read my previous post as well with that brief statement since that addresses what you said here.


  7.  

    First off, it is vital that people realize that feelings of pleasure are the only things that define my good life.  

     

     

    We realize that. You've made that clear enough.

     

     Imagine if someone lost the only good thing to him/her life like me and the only thing that mattered to him/her was for others to respect him/her and for them to truly realize that this good thing he/she lost was the only thing that defined his/her life as good.

     

    Why is it so important for us to realize that? Since you are immune to any attempts to help you correct your worldview to one that is more healthy.

     

    Since we can't help you, why should we care?

     

     

    Because there are other things we can talk about as well besides my hedonistic values such as my plans to recover from this anhedonia, medication, therapies, etc.  It was just vital that I got all of that hedonistic/respect issue out of the way first.


  8. ... by asking people to wade through a wall of text (inherently disrespectful)?

    So am I correct in understanding that you came here, disrespectful of us, demanding that we respect you? Because that's certainly how it's coming across to me right now.

    That leads into the question of why should we respect you before you give us respect? And I'm not just talking about us, but every forum across the internet where you engage in this behaviour. It's a pattern with you, and it doesn't seem to be working. So maybe it's time to try something else.

     

    First off, it is vital that people realize that feelings of pleasure are the only things that define my good life.  If I just came in here, introduced myself, and simply said that "feelings of pleasure are the only things that matter to me in my personal life," then many people would be able to refute that statement.  However, if I presented long winded refutations of my own to them to begin with, then they would be likely to no longer argue against me and they would no longer be able to come up with anymore counterarguments.  Instead, they would finally realize that my feelings of pleasure are the only things that define my good life.

     

    As for that being disrespect, it is not.  Imagine if someone lost the only good thing to him/her in his/her life like me and the only thing that mattered to him/her was for others to respect him/her and for them to truly realize that this good thing he/she lost was the only thing that defined his/her life as good.  But then other people came up to that person and said that it is disrespectful of him/her to even think that way and to talk in long-winded manners to try and convince these people that this good thing was the only thing that made his/her life worth living.


  9. I don't see anything but empathy though. Every poster that has talked about their anhedonia has talked about how shitty it is. No one wants to deny you your right (given the possibilities currently available) to be free of negative symptoms, and they've shared how they accomplish it. For many of the members here it seems to be meds and sometimes therapy. I've not re-read them all to do a statistical analysis, but I don't see anyone complaining about hedonism.

     

    What I don't understand is that you came here posting long-winded refutations (as you so compassionately put it) before anyone here had ever heard of you before. So what did you think would happen? You didn't come in with "hello. I'm Matt. I have anhedonia. Do you?" Instead it took this long for us to even figure out what you were talking about. I find it frustrating and I doubt that I'm the only one. We're all crazy here and we all have limited mental resources. 

     

    Your long-winded refutations are inherently disrespectful and you started out by posting them. It took us this long to figure out what you were talking about. So what were you expecting to happen?

     

    Because respect, to me, is the most important thing.  It is vital that people respect my hedonistic values first before I even introduce myself and explain my situation of anhedonia.


  10. In order to find compassion we need to be compassionate to others. Making people wade through a wall of text is not very respectful of their time; I could read a one-paragraph summary and know what I was dealing with, but we're all here voluntarily. I don't want to read a missive every time you post as I find it exhausting. When I'm exhausted I am less able to show my compassion because I need to keep it for myself at that point - it makes me selfish.

     

    If you're looking for intelligence then great. However, intelligence can be critical, especially when presented with essays. It tends to think "oh! an essay! I can critique an essay!" rather than think about the writer behind the essay. That's a different mindset. If you would like people to think about you as a person and to be considerate to you as a person then perhaps getting readers to engage their critical reasoning skills isn't the best approach to take. After all, knowing our audience is one of the most key components to a successful essay. Deflecting from you as a person by asking for writing critiques isn't going to get you both intelligence and compassion engaging with you.

     

    What I'm trying to do here is make people realize that nothing they can tell me can ever change my immense value towards my pleasure.  That I can never find other things of good value to live for in my life without my feelings of pleasure and that I would never accept and would never live a life without my feelings of pleasure.  I want them to no longer try to convince me that there are other good things I can live for and to no longer convince me that I can still find worth and such in this life without my feelings of pleasure.  If they do try to convince me, then I post these long-winded refutations in return so that they realize that there is truly no reason for me to find worth and good value in my own personal life without my feelings of pleasure.  I want these people to instead respond to me in such a way that says: "I see.  I realize that your feelings of pleasure are the one and only things of good value to you in your personal life and just how much you must have them back.  I will no longer try to convince you otherwise and I fully respect your hedonistic values."  My feelings of pleasure are all that matter to me in terms of my own personal life and nothing else will ever matter to me in terms of my own personal life I live for myself.

     

    If they are people who call me selfish, disrespect me, call me a crybaby, etc., then the same thing also applies.  I will post long-winded refutations to these people and their claims that I am selfish and such so that they have full respect and compassion towards me and respect my hedonistic values and no longer call me such names anymore or mock me in any other given way.  In other words, I just want these types of people to be quiet and to respect my hedonistic values.  If these people insist on calling me names anyway and in displaying a tonality towards me that I deem as disrespect, then I will become abusive towards these people.  My feelings of pleasure are my own personal life here that I absolutely must fully have back in my life and you should respect that.


  11. Then why do you roam around the internet with the same rambling essay? You seem to get the same reaction of scorn and derision everywhere that you go. It must be doing something for you, otherwise you wouldn't do it.

     

    It's because I have yet to find a fully compassionate and fully respectful person such as my mother or therapist who will engage with me and not have scorn and such towards me.  I am looking for an intelligent version of my mom and therapist since my mom and therapist are not all that intelligent, but are very respectful and compassionate nonetheless.  So in other words, I am looking for someone who is both intelligent and has full respect and full compassion towards me.  Furthermore, there is absolutely no reason for others to have any scorn and disrespect towards my writing since I am a suffering person with a difficult situation, too.  For others to disrespect me and have scorn towards me is belittling of me and my suffering and I would then return the favor by being abusive towards these types of people.  However, I won't be abusive here since I was told by the staff not to.


  12.  

    If anyone here has scorn or any form of disrespect towards me here as they did in my previous topics, then just "cast these people out" for me, would you?

     

    MattMVS7 -

     

    The Crazyboards User Agreement prohibits abusive posting, and as this is intended as a peer-support site, moderators and administrators are sensitive to this and take swift action to support senseless flaming.  This does not, however, mean that responses to posts are required to be in agreement, and part of Crazyboards' unique elán is that members sometimes disagree with gusto.  We occasionally encounter members who either do not understand this, or are overly sensitive to it, and encourage them to find fora more suited to their tastes.  A review of past topics started by you does not reveal evidence of abusive posting by other members by the standards of this community.

     

    We are, however, concerned by your request above.  In its specific reference to religious texts that call upon individuals to be exiled from their communities, or worse, equated to demons to be cast into herds of swine so that they may be destroyed by drowning, the request suggests a contempt on your part for members who do not echo the mindset you have already established for yourself.  Please be aware that no such request will be granted by the staff of this site - whether or not involving demons.

     

    If you ask our opinions here, we will share them freely.  If you speak absurdity, we will take you to task for it.  Be prepared, or go in peace.

     

     

    Cerberus

    Moderator

    Anhedonic since 1980

     

     

    In that case, I won't be abusive and will just simply ignore anyone who disagrees with my mindset and will talk with others here in a non-abusive manner.  Therefore, go ahead and talk about that previous post I just made above.


  13. I apologize for what I said about the medication and I didn't realize that link was made my someone who might not know what they are talking about.  Therefore, I will continue on with explaining some things here.  It is regarding how I can still find good value in this life because, honestly, I don't think I can without my feelings of pleasure.  Therefore, I am now going to explain and others can give me their input:

     

    I know a part of Buddhism is about letting go of the things we want in life and accepting our losses and accepting a new life.  But, let's pretend, that there was someone who only wanted to live a particular style of life.  This is his/her one and only life of good value to him/her and all other styles of life to him/her are of no value to him/her.  It would be no different than if someone had a particular style in music and all other styles of music to him/her don't hold any good value to him/her.  Therefore, if someone had only one style of life he/she found good value in such as going out and walking in nature, but then developed cancer and was bound to a hospital bed, then this new life of being in that hospital bed would be of no good value to him/her at all since this new life is not his/her style at all.  It would be no different than if he/she was listening to music he/she likes (in this case, him/her going out and walking in nature), but then that music he/she likes was taken away from him/her and he/she is now listening to music he/she finds no value in (in this case, him/her being bound in a hospital bed with cancer and living a new life in which he/she can no longer go out in nature anymore).  As a matter of fact, it would be him/her now listening to music he/she hates since this is a new life he/she utterly detests.
     
    This person would have every right to end his/her life rather than to just accept it since this life is not his/her style at all as I said before and wasn't the life he/she wanted to live at all.  For other people to tell him/her that he/she should just accept this lifestyle and that, even though he/she no longer has the life he/she wanted to live, that he/she should instead live for others, then that would be utterly selfish of these other people to tell him/her so.  It says to him/her that only these other people matter now and that he/she should just instead have all the attention, value, and just cater to these people.  The fact is, he/she is just as important as any other person and he/she deserves his/her good life that he/she wanted to truly live.  He/she has every right to live that life.  Therefore, for others to just tell him/her to accept this new life of cancer and just live for others would be denying, demeaning, and restricting of this person's value as a human being which would be his/her right to have his/her good life he/she wants.  Therefore, balance is key here.  We must have our own good lives we want to live while also living for others and bringing them good lives as well.  We must have our good lives and others must have their good lives.  Otherwise, we should end our lives and we have every right to end our lives if we could never get our good lives back.  We have every right to have our good lives we want to live as long as these are lives that don't harm and demean other innocent people.
     
    You choosing to end your life in the event that you could never regain your good life would not make you selfish at all.  For example, with Robin Williams, the good value that he has invested towards the message of living for others, that good value has been redirected towards a new message of value towards his family and other people when he has decided to end his life due to his depression.  This new message of value says to his family and other innocent people that he just can't take his depression anymore and that it is just simply time for him to go.  That he still has full value towards them anyway even though he knows very well that he will cause them grief in his act of suicide and that he wishes for them to find their own strengths in life without him.  Therefore, Robin Williams didn't have any less value towards others in his act of suicide.  Instead, his value has been switched over to a new message.  The message he has had before was him choosing to live for others.  But that message has changed over to that new message I just mentioned here.
     
    I have lost all my feelings of pleasure 24/7 due to anhedonia (absence of pleasure) which is a negative symptom of schizophrenia and I'm not sure I will ever regain my pleasure back.  My feelings of pleasure are very profound to me, are the only things that make my personal life good and worth living and nothing else, and are more important than my beating heart and the air I breathe to stay alive.  My heart and air keep me physically alive.  But my feelings of pleasure keep me alive in the sense of giving my life a sense of good value and worth.  Nothing else gives my life a sense of good value and worth.  Therefore, I must have my full feelings of pleasure back to me in my life up and running as a full function in my life to keep my life up and running with good value and worth.  I am not selfish or anything of the sort when saying that my feelings of pleasure are the only things that give the things I do a sense of good value and worth.  I still have full value and compassion towards others and I still help others out.  It's just that what makes my own personal life good and worth living is my feelings of pleasure and nothing else.  If I have decided to end my life due to my pleasure never recovering, then I would not be having any less value towards others (as demonstrated in my example with Robin Williams).  It is only my feelings of pleasure that give my life a sense of good value and worth.  Not any other form of pleasure that is so claimed to come from our thoughts and everything else in life alone without our actual feelings of pleasure.
     
    Going back to my music style analogue.  When I had my full feelings of pleasure in the past, it was like I was listening to music I like since it was me living a life that was my style.  But when I have developed this anhedonia in which there are never any given brief moments of any feelings of pleasure whatsoever, then it is now like I am only listening to music I hate and find no value in since I am now living a life that is not who I am, is not my style at all, is a life I find no good value in whatsoever without my feelings of pleasure, and is a lifestyle I will never accept.  Some might tell me that the act of living for feelings of pleasure makes no sense.  But you must understand here that feelings of pleasure are vital to our survival in life in giving us that genuine sense of joy, motivation, inspiration, bond, etc.  That is how we evolved.  For some people though, feelings of pleasure aren't that important or not that important at all.  But for people like me, you must understand here that they are absolutely vital and life depending for me.  They are the only good and profound experiences for me in my personal life.

  14. This is a pro-treatment site. For many people, this includes meds. Where is your evidence that SSRIs damage the brain? Can you provide a citation? It's just flat out wrong, and it is giving out very bad information. If you don't want to take meds, fine. But making such sweeping incorrect statements will not be tolerated here.

     

    What is the source of your anhedonia? Negative symptoms or depression?

     

    Here is the link:

     

    http://www.madinamerica.com/2012/09/things-your-doctor-should-tell-you-about-antidepressants/


  15. I've had anhedonia. It sucks. It went away with meds and therapy. It took a while to get the right combo. I found Wellbutrin helped. Meds like Ritalin can help, too. I can't prescribe, I'm not a doctor, and even if I were, I couldn't practice over the internet, but these are things in my experience that have helped me.

     

    Stress makes everything worse, I find. I can imagine in stressful times it would kick the anhedonia into high gear and make it worse, and harder to overcome.

     

    Talk to your pdoc, or tdoc. There are ways to get out of this hell. Very rarely is anything permanent. Do what you can that you still find pleasure from, anything, to try and keep a grasp at it. Having experienced anhedonia, from negative SZA symptoms, I know this is very difficult, almost impossible. But you have insight, which is a bonus, you know whats going on inside, so you can work with your treatment team to try and end this symptom.

     

    Are you currently on any meds? In any form of therapy?

     

    I am not taking medication since medication such as SSRIS cause excess serotonin to linger on in the brain.  This excess serotonin then becomes neurotoxic and damages nerve cells and such.  This damage can only serve to perpetuate anhedonia.  Therefore, medication would only serve to likely perpetuate/worsen my anhedonia.  You claim that these medications have helped you.  However, your brain might of recovered on its own and that it had nothing to do with the medication.  Although medication does help some people, for the most part, it only does more harm than good.  

     

    I believe that I should just let the brain recover on its own while taking natural supplements that might help such as licorice root that I have yet to try.  I am seeing a therapist as well.


  16. I've not heard that stress perpetuates anhedonia. Everyone has stress to some degree.

     

    People recover from anhedonia. You shouldn't view it as a permanent state. It might take time, but you will eventually recover.

     

    Actually, stress does perpetuate anhedonia since scientists and one intelligent member on another depression forum who helped many others said the same thing.


  17. I don't think anyone here said that you must simply accept anhedonia. You shouldn't. But anhedonia is usually a temporary state, and with the right meds and time, hopefully it will pass.

     

    Thank you for your understanding.  If anyone here has scorn or any form of disrespect towards me here as they did in my previous topics, then just "cast these people out" for me, would you?

     

    As for recovery, I'm not quite sure because I heard that stress perpetuates anhedonia.  I have fears as a part of my constant daily life and, even though the actual feelings of fear are turned off along with my feelings of pleasure, I need to know if just me still having the actual fears still there counts as the fear stress response perpetuating my anhedonia. My mind has turned off my feelings of pleasure and fear in order to try and recover itself and I'm wondering if my mind would also turn off the fear stress response in addition to the actual feelings of fear themselves.  Having the feelings of fear would perpetuate my anhedonia.  Therefore, this is why my mind has turned off my feelings of fear.  However, since the fear stress response itself would also perpetuate my anhedonia, then did my mind also turn that off as well? Or can't it?


  18. I have lost all my feelings of pleasure due to anhedonia which is a negative symptom of schizophrenia and also due to depression.  It really gets to me when people tell me that there are other good things I can live for in my life besides my pleasure because there aren't any.  I am not selfish in saying this and I still have full respect and compassion towards others even when saying this.  I have every reason to believe that my feelings of pleasure are the only things that can define my personal life as being good.  I wish to talk this out with someone who is fully compassionate and respectful who will listen to me and not just dismiss the things I'm saying, tell me that my writing is offensive, have disappointment or scorn towards me, etc.  Therefore, I am going to begin by saying this:

     

    As for the idea of me solely living for others if I could never recover my pleasure, we all have personal good lives of our own we need to attend to and need to have. For example, I do things for my own self and my own life such as playing videogames which doesn't involve helping others. But the only thing that could make those sort of things I do for myself (my hobbies) anything good in my personal life is if I can derive feelings of pleasure from them. Therefore, it is like taking away all my personal hobbies and my own personal life and then telling me to just accept that, to just forget my personal life, and to instead just live for others and for other things instead. Therefore, do you not see why that would obviously make me psychotic? It would make any innocent and caring person psychotic. Feelings of pleasure are the only reward message to the brain and are the only things that tell us that our lives are good and worth living. Therefore, my feelings of pleasure are the only things that make my life and hobbies worth doing and pursuing. Don't believe me when I say that feelings of pleasure are the only "good" messages to the brain and are the only things that genuinely encourage us in life and encourage our survival? Then go ask an intelligent scientist or an evolutionary biologist. Sure, we could tell ourselves that our lives are good and worth living without our feelings of pleasure. But that is nothing more than just some thought. It is not that "good" message (feelings of pleasure). We could recognize certain situations as being good or bad and we could very well choose to help others and such without our feelings of pleasure. But the fact still remains that they are nothing more than just thoughts. They are not that "good" message as I said before. They are just simply thoughts of good and bad and not the actual messages of good and bad. The message of good obviously being feelings of pleasure while the message of bad obviously being feelings of suffering.

    When we do something good or bad, then that gives us actual feelings of pleasure and suffering. Why is that? It's not just because they are just feelings that "just happen." They are messages to the brain that tell us that what we are doing is good or bad since that is how we evolved. Therefore, to not have any feelings of pleasure due to depression or anhedonia, then there is no message telling you that your life is good and worth living and you would only be fooling yourself by thinking that your life is good and worth living through your thoughts and such alone without your feelings of pleasure. Same thing applies for feelings of suffering in that you would not be having any message telling you that what you are doing in life is bad or that your life is bad.

     

    There is a feeling version of good and bad and there is the thought version of good and bad. The thought version of good and bad without our feelings of pleasure and suffering are fake. They are not the true good and bad. Only our feelings of pleasure and suffering give us the good and bad message.  Then there is empathy and compassion here as well.  Those things also come in the form of feelings of pleasure or feelings of suffering.  If you help someone out, then you feel good and that is a form of empathy and compassion.  If you feel bad from hurting someone, then that is a form of empathy and compassion as well.  Those feelings are what tell us what is good and bad in life.  But without our feelings of pleasure or suffering, then there is nothing giving us the good or bad message.  Therefore, you choosing to live for others anyway and to help them out in life despite your absence of pleasure wouldn't make your life anything good at all and wouldn't be any perceived good message at all.  It would only be just a thought as I've said before.  It's the thought of a good message towards others, but isn't the actual perceived good message.


  19.  

    He is getting his pleasure..IMO

    Probably.

    I hear opinions I find infuriating all the time.

    That does not give me a legitimate reason to lash out at the person I vehemently disagree with.

    I do not view your behavior as justified, sir.

     

     

    Now if they were just the types of people who were trying to help at first and don't understand your loss and don't understand that what you had in life was the one and only truly good thing in your life, then I would say you wouldn't have the right to lash out towards that person.  But if you have clearly told this person that what you lost was the only good thing in your life and that said person insists on trying to make you accept that loss and find other things in life of good value anyway, then you would have the right to lash out towards that person.


  20. So, when given advice you do not agree with, you are fully justified in behaving abusively towards other people?

    Do you behave this way in real life?

     

    You have to understand here that my pleasure is the one and only good thing in my life and nothing else.  If I told you to accept a loss in which you have lost the one and only true good thing in your life and that there would be no way for you to move on in life and find other good things in life, then you would have every right to lash out at me and I would feel your actions would be well-justified.


  21. You are respected as a human being. We can respect you as a human being and still find that some of your behaviour is unacceptable. You are being told, with all due respect, what is and what is not okay.

    If you are a grown up you will find that acting as one goes a long way to being understood as such. If you don't know how to act like a grown up well, you've gotten some advice here on this thread about it. Your therapist can definitely clarify for you as well.

     

    Here's what happened.  First, I explain myself in great detail about how pleasure is the most important thing for me in life.  Then others give advice.  I then respond to the types of advice that ask what medication I'm on and what caused my anhedonia.  Then there are those who tell me to accept my anhedonia and find other good things in my life.  But like I said, for anyone to tell me that would be an insult and a mockery as I clearly already stated in my opening post here.  Therefore, no one should give me such advice.  Otherwise, I will become psychotic.  I have every right to be enraged towards such people since they have belittled my values, beliefs, and my anhedonia and they just expect me to live a life that is truly nothing good at all without my pleasure.


  22. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you are stressing about this too much? And seriously, yelling, intimidating, threatening and pretty much already saying "I'm not going to listen to anything you say, I'm just spewing here" is really not going to get  you a lot of positive responses. No one can "make" you psychotic. And threatening to kill someone over calling you out is just way out of line. I hope you get banned. You are stuck in a very circular thought process and it doesn't matter what advice anyone has for you, you don't take it.

     

    Then maybe I should just go back to my family and therapist who do have true genuine respect and compassion towards me.  At least they have no scorn or disrespect towards me and my personal values and beliefs.  Even if I disagree with some of the things they say, they still have full respect and compassion towards me and my personal values and beliefs anyway unlike you or anyone else here.


  23.  

     

     

     However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

     

    Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

     

     

     

    BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

     

    You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

     

     

    ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

     

     

     

    Hitler is a great person.  If I had the choice right now, I would resurrect Hitler and have him slaughter your fucking ass!

     

    Oh Hitler, where are you now, huh?  Come out and play...

     

     

    Ah, yes, the ineffectual threat. You are amusing, if nothing else. Slaughter me, yup. yup.

     

     

    I have, in fact, respected members here and have taken their advice in terms of them asking what caused my anhedonia and in terms of me explaining what medication I'm on.  However, advice given by other members here such as that I need to find other good things in my life besides my pleasure, I will never accept such advice.  For me to not accept such advice is not a form of disrespect at all.  It's just a simple matter of that my pleasure is the one and only true good thing to me in life.

     

    Also, Hitler would only be a good person if he slaughtered the types of insensitive disrespectful people such as yourself.  The fact that he slaughtered innocent people makes him a bad person.  Therefore, why would you disrespect an innocent person such as myself who only wishes to slaughter you?  I would be the most beautiful and innocent person in the world for having done so.


  24.  

     However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

     

    Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

     

     

     

    BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

     

    You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

     

     

    ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

     

     

     

    Hitler is a great person.  If I had the choice right now, I would resurrect Hitler and have him slaughter your fucking ass!

     

    Oh Hitler, where are you now, huh?  Come out and play...

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