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Kona

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About Kona

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    female
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    UK

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  1. Starting quetiapine / seroquel, starting dose 50 mg. i just took my first dose. how does everyone find this med for psychosis?
  2. Had a breakup. It was as ‘nice’ as it could have been but am left feeling vulnerable and not great, meds aren’t working for the voices anymore but I’m due to start a new Med very soon, wish I had it now though...
  3. I'll start this by saying I have (or had) some kind of psychosis and take 30mg Abilify for it. Although because it was DXed by my previous psych I have a feeling my current psych team do not believe me / think it's something different. I also have BPD, PTSD, and GAD and in the past have had (and still do to some extent) depression, anorexia nervosa, and OCD. I deal pretty okay without voices now. But I do still get the commands / thoughts in my head which aren't mine. They feel like they're the devils / or a demon. I have these every single day and mostly do the commands or tell them to fuck off and try to forget about it. Today I was making dinner, and I've had this phenomenon many times before, but I started listening to the music that was playing but then I realized that it was coming from my extractor fan. It reminded me of when I used to wake up hearing classical music in the middle of the night, loud, and right next to my bed. No radio or anything in there... So my question is, do any of you experience this? And, is it normal, or is it part of some psychosis disorder? Do I need to be concerned?
  4. Am meant to be coming off it. Scared to come off it, even reducing the dose... It would take a long time to come off it properly but I’m scared of my paranoia getting worse and other scary stuff happening... I’m on the highest dose allowed... Not sure what to do, will be a few months til I can get a psych appointment.
  5. I'm going to post this here since my primary dx is bpd. ive identified that I seem to have two personalities. The me that's there most of the time and is generally okay with things, trying to make other people smile, demure and extremely anxious but generally a nice person. then there's the Me who is pissed, angry at the past, angry at others, angry at myself. This comes out when I self injure or have attempted suicide in the past. I feel like anything small triggers this change depending on the environment, could be as small as a butterfly beating it's wings. I do drugs, drink in excess, have sex when I don't want to etc. I generally become a self destructive monster. what is this in psychiatric terms? Is this splitting?
  6. I am seeing someone next week, hopefully they can arrange a pdoc appointment for me. I feel like the anti psychotic I take has stopped working as well. Thanks.
  7. I'm sorry you have to stop the Med that has helped you. I hope the doctors and yourself can discuss more options.
  8. Hi, yes I did, they discharged me once I was medically stable.
  9. Trigger warning I OD'd yesterday. Opened up to the person I saw after being medically fit about some of my stranger / weirder symptoms. now panicking because I feel like my MH team don't understand because it's hard for me to talk about the weirder stuff to them. i feel like my anti psychotic has run its course... back to the OD, I didn't want to die explicitly so I am classing it as self harm. It didn't really help but it didn't make things worse either, I feel very numb to it all. crying for different reasons to this.
  10. Thanks Wooster. I feel okay today, even good, I haven't felt like this in a while, but I still feel like I should die sooner rather than later... I don't see my situation getting better, in regards to my health and getting anywhere in life. This is quite scary.
  11. I did something but it was only to stop me from OD'ing. If I didn't do something I would have done something worse. i called someone, they're going to take me to my local injuries unit to see if it needs stitches. never been to a place for self harming before. I'm feeling so anxious.
  12. Thank you for your reply, I have a hotline number I may call but not sure what to say. Don't really know what's led to this apart from all my worries adding up.
  13. I want to overdose. i think I would panic. And call someone to help. its better to not do this. But I want to a lot. If I did it and did panic, people would find out and I'd be humiliated. but I want to not be here. not a single mental health bed in the country and I am scared.
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