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Everything posted by ten.tries

  1. You know how it is when you're supposed to work on a Really Important Thing but your brain would just rather focus all of its energy on everything else. Everything but the Thing. Everything there ever was except for the Thing. And your brain just won't shut up. And you think you feel great! wonderful! kind of amazing, even! But you're aware of this teeny tiny part of you somewhere deep, deep in there that really just feels kind of trapped. Edit: I got kicked out of chat. Oh god. I'm so sorry. I thought I was being helpful, but I was trying too hard and said things I now realize were really insensitive. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Edit2: Apparently it was just a glitch and I'm a complete noob. Now I'm exhausted from the rollercoaster feels. But I'm still sorry. I'm sure I've annoyed at least one person here at some point.
  2. I'm scared that I might be about to have another meltdown.

  3. Somebody make my brain shut the fuck up.

  4. Forgot to edit the title. Ugh. Sorry. I hope I didn't mention anything triggering.
  5. I relapsed a couple days ago, had a not very satisfying session with my therapist yesterday, and also dealing with work-related stress. I'm trying not to go back to the land of "Just Two More So It's Five." I understand that this forum is for getting better, so I feel a little terrible that I don't exactly see SI as something I need to necessarily quit. I know it's not healthy, I know that, but regardless of all my scars it doesn't happen very often. Like it's just something that tends to happen on really bad days. Sometimes it doesn't even happen on really bad days. Anyway, whatever. I just feel kind of sucky. I want to stop talking because I'm starting to feel like I'm just making everything up. That's usually how it starts, "Do it so it's real." So. Okay.
  6. Just got here and loving it already. I hope I end up staying. Bipolar II, currently hypomanic! I am a 26-year-old girl (lady? woman? words are fckin weird) who lives in Southeast Asia and edits books for a living. Sort of. It's what I've been doing since, I don't know, September, I guess. But I feel like it fits. I work at home because I can't handle office jobs (something I learned after a grand total of one office job—that lasted a grand total of four months). I take all-nighters every couple of days, then relax the rest of the week. Whenever there's work coming in. Okay, I think this is all I can manage to write right now. I just received an email from my client who just told me that I'm wonderful so I'm drowning in all the feels. Aaaaaa! Yes, I will see my therapist this week. Nice to meet you and stuff! I like you.
  7. Sleepy and wired and hungry and unproductive and really just want to eat while watching Friends.

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