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Batou

Inmate Emeritus
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Everything posted by Batou

  1. Honestly? No. Meds are not going to make PTSD go away, maybe meds can help ddeal with the symptoms, but only therapy of some type is going to knock out the PTSD.
  2. Stuff in the news... Whenever I am not doing well -- various MI, even physically -- the best thing to do is to NEVER watch the news, read newspapers. I know it is a difficult thing to do. I like to be informed and keep up with current events but with all the information and all sources available today, everything begins to get scary, I get paranoid, depressed, or more depressed, the more I want to isolate myself, etc. = viscious cycle.
  3. Synethesia is not the same thing as colors or music appearing more intense. It is a cross-wiring of senses so to speak. People with synthesia -- all experince different things and may or may not involve all senses.
  4. From week to week - session to session - I may write some things down which come to mind or came to mind as a result of last week's session. The morning of my appointment I have to check and double check my meds supply to see if it time for a new Rx. About a half hour before my appointment I take the time to write down any Rx's I may need and a short list or outline combined from last session's notes and new things. I don't put my day on hold but I will say there are days when I can't do much of anything before the session, and then there are the times after a session when I am useless for the rest of the day.
  5. I started with 25 then 50mg, then up to 100mg to 400mg of Seroquel, now I am back to 100mg. No matter the dose I am a complete zombie in the morning and it takes me 1-2 hours to get going. For a time I had Provigil which really helped but can't afford the Provigil anymore, and the Dexedrine I take for ADD does not help with the drowsiness in the morning and throught the day just helps the ADD.
  6. Sorry if you have already tried this. Do you a an app or a command to make invisible files visible? You might find out where you music went if it still on the HD and hasn't been deleted. MainMenu application is freeware and can reveal invisible files. I do not store any music in my iTunes library or folder. I made an alias audio file on my desktop and store all of my tunes there. Paying to download music.... people actually do this!?!
  7. Hello Timmet en onthaal aan Crazyboards! My best attempt at Dutch, I do not know if Dutch is your first language but I saw you mentioned Utrecht and I have visited there so I tried Dutch. I have experienced voices in my head talking with each other and laughing at and criticizing what I was doing. I was frightening because it had never happened before. As Chimpmaster has said this can be a psychotic symptom, delusional guilt perhaps, but it a symptom does not always equal psychosis. There could be several explanations. Be sure to tell your doctors, your psychiatrist and your psychologist, and remember to include you forgot to take your Zoloft that day. Many times having a definite diagnosis is not as important as getting the proper psychological and medical treatment, if the treatment is working and is the best for you. Erika
  8. Ok, finally figured out how to scan pics. My dearly departed boy basset My Shy girl basset And for Libby: Chewy Slew, son of Seattle Slew I can't spel!!!
  9. Complete psychological evaluation is ambigous. Most likely it is a combination of tests, written or self-answer, and maybe some interactive/subjective tests. Examples may be the MMPI II, some type of IQ test, a symptoms checklist, and the more subjective and oral answered tests such as the Thematic Apperception Test, even a Rohrshach -- some folks still give this -- the battery of tests would depend on what sort of information your therapist thinks may be helpful. What degree/qualifications does your therapist have? Is she a social worker, counselor, psychologist, or are you referring to your pdoc as your therapist? What are your therapsit's qualifications for reading/interpreting the psychological evaluation report? Perhaps most importantly, it sounds like your therapist thinks the evaluation would be helpful to her in order to provide a proper or more specialized form of treatment. But do you know what kind of treatment would be the most beneficial for you? You don't mention your diagnosis(es), if you have ever been told or given a diagnosis, do you have your own thoughts as to your Dx? As per some of your questions and concerns: Do you think collecting additional information would be helpful to you (or has mentioned above more useful to your therapist)?, and useful for you to make progress in therapy? Psychological testing only aids in suggesting diagnoses not confirming a Dx, and thus may suggest some forms of therapy may be more useful or helpul given your diagnosis and what therapy may be best for a specific Dx as well as best suited to your personality. Correct administration and interpretation of the tests is the key. Testing sessions costs can vary widely according to who performs the tests and how many tests and/or sessions it will take to complete the tests. If tdoc is suggesting you be tested by her husband, there may be a conflict of interest, or it may be that they do work as team? Does hubby also see patients or only perform testing? Insurance coverage, of course, will be according to your coverge and how the testing session is billed.
  10. From your description it sounds like you may be experiencing depersaonlization.
  11. I've taken Propanolol but it never helped with social anxiety/phobia. May have kept my heart from pouding but did nothing for the underlying problem. It is the method of choice for some musicians, and it is cheating, cheating the musicians themeslves. When my mate was in grad school, a well known and respected school of music, most of the folks couldn't perform without propanolol. Once they started taking the stuff they needed it, wouldn't think of performing with out it. Stage fright for a professional is common but is also part of the life and in most cases doesn't keep one from having to retire/forego public performances. I find the klonopin works pretty well as long as I take it on time or plan to take it before I have to venture outside the house or before a therapy session. I have to say the Valium is a much quicker fix for me too. The added problem the benzos can cause with short term memory problems can, at times, make the whole public speaking worse (from my own expereince).
  12. Argh! Nothing worse than looking down at the scale and seeing a weight gain of 8 pounds overnight. But CC is right, salt/water retention could be responsible. Although it's hard for me not to want to get on the scale every day, weighing yourself every day isn't the best indicator. Better to do so once a week and get a better idea of average weight and to see if/how much Seroquel is a factor. If you have a day when you want to eat or drink whatever, well try to let yourself do it and not guilt yourself out over it. Sure, the weight thing sucks but I think it is better to let yourself/your body have what it wants every once in a while, easier than trying to deny yourelf some foods/drinks all the time that is hard to do. BTW, I've lost some weight since beginning Seroquel. Took a little time a month or two for my body to adjust, but I've lost some pounds which had been hanging around from some previous meds.
  13. Possible side effects, VE mentioned, aside. It stikes me as stupid when I read in a very generic drug info book that Zyprexa is only for people with chronic conditions and then read everywhere else that it should be used short term. I have taken Zyprexa on and off for years. I have stayed on Zyprexa for more than one year at a time. It works great for me. Ask your pdoc exactly why he wanted to take you off. Was it due to metabolic concerns, or he wanted to see if the Zyprexa was no longer necessary and if so, why? Not that you may haven not already discussed this with him.
  14. Letters can work for the reasons mentioned above. I have suggested to many peopple to write letters but I prefer the method of writing the letter to get everything out of your system, so to speak, but instead of sending the letters to do something ritualistic like wadding it up and brurning or attaching the letter to a rock and throw it in a body of water. Do as I say not as I do, I guess, because I can't follow my own advice. I have been asked to write a few letters and then had to read them to my pdoc, for me the exercise wasn't effective but I was fighting the idea and didn't want to share my real thoughts with my pdoc who was new to me at the time. Timing may be important for you. Repeating what others have said, think about it, talk to your tdoc, no reason why the "home work" has to have such a early deadline.
  15. Thanks for the update Becca! I smiled and then laughed when I read about the ear scratching. The image was so clear in my head that reading it made me think how happy Barbaro's vets/owners/care takers must have been to see this. **shivers** I could never re-watch the race because to this day the image has never left me. I didn't watch the Derby, in fact, Becca you told me who had won the Derby. I just happened to be watching TV last Saturday, looked at the schedule and saw the Preakness was on and figured the call to the post would be soon. I wished I hadn't watched the race maybe if I hadn't Barbaro would be OK today -- I know that sounds delusional, it is, but whenever I just happened to watch something and a disaster happens I think if only I hadn't watched it ... Becca, thank you for the posts. Hey, I am in no way an expert on horses. Some of what I say is my best conjecture as well. Anything I say is from memories of working on a Thouroughbred breeding farm when I was finishing college and from another four years working for a horse trainer in another state. He trained and showed Arabians, but he also trained everything from Hanoverians to Draft horses to mules. I love mules! Someday soon I am going to figure out how to use the new printer/scanner and I'll get to post pics of my Bassets, I'm excited. If I can, not that anyone is interested but I'll see if I can't find a picture of one of the stallions where I used to work who is a son of Seattle Slew -- the closest I have and will ever get to any sort of celebrity.
  16. Hey Herrfous, Good to see you back. If there is a silver lining to any of this, at least you are working at a hospital with a neurology/neuroscience department ranked as one of the top in the Southeast. And unless policies have changed employees used to have very good health insurance coverage. I hope things improve for you ASAP and the folks at *** can track down and control whatever is is causing all of this mess.
  17. Foundering occurs in the hoof. It can affect the leg(s) and how the horse moves but it is inflamation in the hoof to begin with not the leg itself. Foundering can just happen, can arise from hard workouts, but is generally associated with problems in diet. High protein feeds, bad, moldy hay. Foundering can cause serious problems. A good farrier can catch the early signs. If left untreated it will permantly disfigure the hoof(ves) and the movement of the horse. As Becca said one of the major problems in recovery is trying to keep the horse quiet and calm. Treatment and surgery has come a long way from the days when any break in a leg would mean the horse had to be put down. A break is not always fatal, however if the break or injury in any way interrupts the blood flow that means pretty certain death. Barbaro was/is extremely fortunate so far that the blood flow to his right rear leg has not been compromised. Barbaro seems to be doing better than expected -- news from this morning -- he is staying fairly calm. He isn't out of the woods yet and may not be for another 6 months. A thoroughbred horse in training or on the track is extremely highstrung. I used to work on a thoroughbred breeding farm and occasionaly the owner would have one of his horses pulled from training and brought back to the farm for a time out. The difference in the level of energy between a horse right out of training compared to a brood mare or a even a breeding stallion is great. Used to refer to this is "on the muscle" the animals are in extremely good shape, lean, and can be very jumpy/hyper and are used to hard workouts every day and they want to run and run and run. They want to run, they love to run. Due to the difference in diet and activity level the horses from the track would eventually settle down. Contrary to what many people think horses do lie down sometimes to sleep and sometimes just to rest. But getting a horse in racing condition to be this mellow is not likely to happen. If Barbaro survives and the leg is sturdy enough, alot of weight is transferred to the rear legs when a stallion mounts a mare, he will go to stud. The Jockey Club requires any thoroughbred registered for the possibility as a future race horse cannot be the result of artificial insemination, colt or filly has to be conceived the old fashioned way. His stud fees can bring in plenty of money but it may not be enough to cover the money spent on his surgery and treatment. A sign, to me at least, of how much he is loved and valued on his own and not looked at as simply a money maker either on the track -- Barbaro will never ever return to the track obviously -- or as a stud. Ruffian was one of the saddest losses. A filly who could run like the colts who lost her life during the great -- right! -- decade of the endless contests of humans and enventually a horse Battle Between The Sexes. *edited for very poor spelling and grammar and I'm sure mistakes are still here*
  18. Kablume, I don't mind answering. I was applying for SSI. I got caught in a Catch-22. To qualify for SSDI you have to have a certain amount of work credits based on your age and you had to have earned a certain number of credits witin the last ten years. I had worked, filed, and paid taxes continuiiously since 1986. But the catch, from 1996-2003 I was a graduate student teaching assistant at a state university and the state has this nice little policy of not having to pay FICA for certain state employees. So I could not qualify for SSDI despite the fact I had enough work credits for some SSA benefits but because the state did not pay FICA taxes for the years above I was only eligible for SSI. Hope that makes sense. Pissed me off really because when I say I am on SSI and not SSDI I always feel other people will judge me, find me lazy, unambitious, a slug, because others may assume I was too lazy to have ever worked. If you have any other questions that you'd rather PM me with, feel free. I have to add for some time now I have really enjoyed your new avatar and sig line!
  19. DMF, Your daughter's story hit another nerve, not in a bad way, more like an arrow through my heart. I played soccer for years, was very good not great, but good enough to play on a regional team, and I know that goalkeeprs are very often the best player on the team. When I went to college female soccer teams did not exist yet, not that I could have been recruited. Enough about me. SG made a very good point about prioritzing. May I add yet another aspect GRIEF. The absence of soccer in your daughter's life must be a great loss to her. Grieving is a painful but necessary process.Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's theorized from her work on death and the dying the five stages of greif: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance of death (or loss). We often experience the same process with other losses in our lives such as the death of our dreams. Another topic for therapy, another tough one and one your daughter may not want to discuss either, but an issue which is more in the present than the past.
  20. Yes, general rule is the 25% or $5300 on the appeal stage attorney and client sign a contract on this and, yes, SSA must approve payment. When I received the letter about the ruling on my case included was a page citing the attorney payment agreement with attorney/me/and SSA. Fees can go higher if the hearing decision is appealed but most cases do not go to court a second time, again this should be clearly stated in SSA approved contract attorney has you sign. As for additional fees, it can/may/does depend on the contract you signed with attorney. My attorney stated there could be charges I would have to pay, win or lose, for things like payments to docs for medical record requests and copying of medical records. Not all doctors will charge a fee to send copies, some do. When my case was over I did receive a fee notice from my attorney for expenses but the bill was only for $10 because alot of medical records, etc. were requested seemed only one doc or hospital wanted to be paid back. Travel fees to the trail, if necessary, attorney is responsible for as for any other court related fees, all covered by the 25% rule. If you have to pay travel fees to get to trial you can get them covered, attorney has to pay own way but you don't. Although, many times and whenever possible, as happened in my case, the trial was held via video conferencing, location was in my city although judge was in another state (special case for me with judge being from another jurisdiction due to backlog). Expert witnesses: I paid my pdoc to testify at my hearing because pdoc could much better explain what things looked like on paper vs. my actual ability to function than the attorney was able to so it was worth it for me. My pdoc had a standard fee for this, wasn't based on hourly billing or travel, and her fee was very reasonable. I couldn't afford it but someone paid it for me. I requested my pdoc testify, I mentioned it to attorney who agreed it would be very helpful in my case, attorney had no intention of calling any witnesses. Last point and also specific to my case, judge found in my favor, I won or could say attorney wone the case, but my financial review after my win showed I had more than $2000 in personal assests at the time my case was approved. So, after a period of time I did begin to receive monthly payments, but even though my case was approved my attorney received no money from the SSA -- or from me except the $10 -- I felt guilty that attorney did not get paid but I had not acted in bad faith. I did not know about the assets rule, I told attorney I felt bad she didn't get paid but she said it is a gamble they take.
  21. I have to agree with what has already been said. No one can force a person to deal with trauma before the person is ready to do so and will do more harm, and the tdoc should know this. Watching a love one go through so much pain is difficult, even more so if it is your child, I imagine. It is not a matter of her not wanting to deal with the trauma right now as much as the inability to deal with it right now. Defense mechanisms keep us from exploring and dealing with trauma until our psyche's are strong enough. Two, your daughter's other medical problems are complicated and making any psych treatment, meds and/or therapy even more difficult. Not to mention that going through the health problems she is right now is also traumatic. Severe health problems, undergoing treatment, not knowing the outcome, thinking about life and death is heavy stuff for an adult, for a younger person even more so. Head injuries, significant head injuries as you say, can play a large part in psychiatric conditions. The complication with the pineal gland... wow, everything is very complicated. What other docs is she seeing? I'm not an MD but I think it is vital there be a real team approach with all of her doctors involved, or a specialist who can be in charge of the case. A neuropsychiatrist perhaps plus endocronologist? I don't know, I'm not qualified to say. My very limited knowledge, the pineal gland is beleived to play a role in sleep regulation. Pineal is also important for hormone regulation especially during adolescence. Sleep regulation is very important for psychiatric and general health, hormone regualtion another biggie. Sorry, I am sure you already know all of this, just thinking about how complicated your daughter's situation is aloud to myself, I feel for your daughter and you. I hope her daughter can get the best and all the help she needs. Anything with her complicated medical history could have caused "the break" you speak of but forcing her to deal with her trauma, particulalry right now, could lead to an even worse break. *edited due to many spelling errors*
  22. Short answer, No. Sounds like a rare case with your sister's insurance that you could be added. Very fortunate these days. Legal, the only thing I could think of is if you had a designated payee for your SSDI but that would mean you would have to get it set up and have some sort of documentation from a doc or your sister, or both (I don't really know) that stated you could not handle your own finances and I am not sure you would want to do that. Is there a med school anywhere near you? I do know that some medical schools with a school of denistry will provide very affordable dental care if you are OK with students working on you.
  23. Abilify the weakest AP? Do you mean least potent? I thought Seroquel is considered the least potent of the APs.
  24. Zyprexa will knock out anxiety but it is a bit of overkill unless nothing else works. Having said that I have taken a dose of Zyprexa due to cases of severe anxiety but I have been off and on Zyprexa many times. And need at least 5 to 10mg for it to work right away, and it works basically by making me go take a 4 hour nap.
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