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  1. I have been on as much as 75mg Nardil per day. I need to come off it for a variety of reasons, the biggest being past episodes of difficulty obtaining Nardil at times. There appears to be just one factory in the world that makes it and it occasionally shuts down. This scares the crap out of me because you can't just stop Nardil. Any way, I am now down to 30gm after 6 months and the detox is horrendous. Major headaches, anxiety, insomnia, numbness and tingling in my feet and ankles, etc. Anyone else going through or has gone off Nardil? Any suggestions, comments, etc...?
  2. Thanks for your input Melissaw72. I too feel awful coming off the med (anxiety, depression, GI problems) but was told that these are withdrawal symptoms that will pass with time. It is not that I need the Klonopin, I have just developed a physical dependence on it. I was told by pdoc that once my brain receptors adapt, these symptoms will pass. I can certainly understand why you went back on the Klonopin; believe me I have thought about it too. However I'm stubborn and want to believe that long term that it is best to be off it and was wondering if any others who have come off any benzo would agree with that.
  3. I have read on other threads how people have successfully come off of Klonopin and other benzos. Some have done it cold turkey without symptoms, others have suffered miserably. I am suffering miserably and just hope it is worth it. I have been on some form of benzo for 25 years and am convinced it has worsened if not caused my depression. Those of you who have come off of Klonopin, or any benzo for that matter, was it worth it? Do you feel better and if so how? Thanks! P.S. Was at 3mg per day now at 1.25mg
  4. I am currently taking 45mg Nardil which has worked so so. I know if I tell my pdoc I am still depressed he will up me to 60mg. The only problem I have with Nardil is the damn weight gain- I am up 10 lbs, from 150 to 160. Upping the dosage will only make this worse. I have heard that Parnate does not cause weight gain and was wondering if it is as effective as Nardil. Has anyone gone from Nardil to Parnate; if so what have been your experiences. Forgot to mention I suffer from anxiety; would the Parnate help this, make it worse?
  5. Mikrw33; thanks so much for the wealth of information! I am certain you know more about MAOI's and Tricyclics than my pdoc does. He just pats himself on the back because he has the "guts" to prescribe Nardil, which he claims most "younger" pdoc's don't won't because they don't know enough about it. I'll print your response and bring it to him and see what he wants to do. As far as Parnate goes, I would rather be on it if it doesn't cause weight gain. But is it as effective as Nardil? I thought Nardil was the gold standard for efficacy of MAOI's? Velvet Elvis: I didn't know what ketamine therapy was so of course I went to Wikipedia, which didn't give it a good review: "Ketamine has been tested in treatment-resistant bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, and people in a suicidal crisis in emergency rooms.[30] Benefit is often of a short duration.[31] The quality of the evidence supporting benefit is generally low." As far as ECT, I really fear the memory loss for a number of reasons of course, but especially since I work and need an intact memory to perform my job. If things get bad enough, however, I would consider this. As far as VLN, I don't know a lot about it other than it involves surgery. Having surgery means I would have to go off Nardil for two weeks in order to use anesthesia, this scares the hell out of me. Thanks for your ideas!
  6. Jt07, I haven't tried Rexulti, is it an atypical antipsychotic like risperidol? As far as mood stabilizers, I thought they were for Bipolar patients. Do they help the ups and downs of depression too? I do have decent days and certainly bad days, so maybe this could help. BTW, you always have the best ideas and give great advice!
  7. Just having a really shitty day and keep thinking I'd rather just blow my head off then continue to suffer this bullshit depression. I won't though, because I know it would cause family to much hurt. Anyway, I'm on Nardil 45 mg because every other drug combination has failed, and MAO was a last pill resort. In the past, some of the SSRI drugs worked good for a couple of weeks, then I dropped back into the hole of depression only to have meds increased or changed. Same now with Nardil, worked good for a while but now like I said, I can't stand the depression that has returned. I know my pdoc will say lets go to 60mg, and I suspect it will work for a while (and I'll gain 10 more pounds), but I don't want to up it just for it to work a short period and then stop. Debating what to do; wondering if others have found increases in the right med to work for good, just confused and bitter.
  8. jt07 you always give the best advice and greatest hope to those on this forum. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you come through this crisis well.
  9. I have felt the way you are many, many times. However, the feeling is always fleeting, the depression always subsides, and the pain lessens. Please think about Lily; you will hurt her deeply. When I was suicidal, I couldn't stop thinking of the pain I would pour on my family. Transferring the suffering to them made me realize that suicide is now off the table, not an option any more. I suck it up for them-fuck you depression, you won't win. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
  10. I have always wondered if Klonopin and the numerous other Benzo's I've been on for 25 years have caused/worsened my depression. I have tried to stop or reduce these, but the anxiety gets crazy. As for the Nardil, starting dose of 30mg/day did nothing. pdoc upped it to 45 yesterday, and I am hoping this makes the difference I need. Anyone know the therepeautic range for this med; I think it is 30-90/day?
  11. Like a bolt of lightning the depression has returned with a passion. WHAT SHIT LUCK. I am going on the Nardil an am afraid of the diet and medicine restrictions. Anyone on a MAO inhibitor with
  12. Thanks Southern Discomfort for your reply. The depression is better, which is great, but I still have the anxiety and worry plus insomnia. The SSRI's definitely helped those symptoms. I too am wondering if the SSRI's depressed me; paradoxical indeed. Also, it's only been two weeks so who knows what time will do.
  13. I was first treated for generalized anxiety disorder in 1991 with Benzos and an SSRI. Basically survived adequately until 2010 when I developed major depression disorder. Numerous cocktails of SSRI's, SSNI's, atypical antipsychotics, etc. were tried; none with success. Had extreme suicide ideation and overwhelming depression. I would sleep 10-12 hours a day, cry a lot, but still managed to work. There was no reason for this sudden development of MDD, just shit luck I guess. Four T-Docs later I was labeled "treatment resistant" and told the next step was an MAO inhibitor, specifically Nardil. I studied up on this drug and hated the restrictive diet but more so the limitations on medications I could take. None the less, the depression peaked to the point of having a suicide plan, and I decided to go to the Nardil. I first had to be two weeks off of the 20mg of Lexapro and 200mg of Wellbutrin I was taking. I stopped both these drugs way to soon (over four days) and suffered miserably with headaches, insomnia, dizziness, etc. However, the depression disappeared! Initially I thought that the withdrawal symptoms were so severe that the depression just took a back seat. Kind of like if you have a bad headache then smash your thumb with a hammer, you forget the headache. But now two weeks post these SSRI's, I still have no depression. I would not say I am happy, just not depressed, which is still miraculous. I continue to have some dizziness, and my sleep sucks; I barely get 6 hours a night and during that time wake up every hour (even after trying Ambien, Benadryl, and weed). I also maintain my anxiety and am more irritable off SSRI's. I am wondering if anyone else has simply gotten better from depression after stopping meds for it, and if so for how long. I AM NOT ADVOCATING ANYONE TRY THIS AS THIS COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS. Jt07, I have read some of your posts as to how you went depression free for 3 years; I would love to here how you got better, then why you had to resume meds, if you would be kind enough to share. Also, anyone else with input is most welcome to comment.
  14. I've been off the boards for a while so I just caught this great thread. I too, like you Hopefully, have treatment resistant MDD and a strong faith. I sadly, unlike others, continue to fight this tooth and nail and don't want to accept it. I want it fixed, like everyone else, and have tried countless cocktails only to be disappointed each time. Currently have some neutral days (which are great!) but mostly depressed days. I can think of one Biblical quote that may be helpful. "12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13 Although I read this daily I still struggle to accept it, especially on the bad days. However, after reading the posts on this thread where several others have found some degree of peace by accepting the illness and not hating and fighting it, I will from here on in try to do so myself. Thanks again for the great thread everyone.
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