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About ilovemydogsasha

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  1. I mean, they were right there, so they already saw and know what happened, I don't need to tell them. They definitely don't take it as seriously as you. Actually they think I'm the one over reacting. Also since he's only trying to touch my hand(and one time my knee for a second) I guess people don't think that's bad...because most people shake hands(even though I don't want to) also I usually don't see him, since we work in different classes now, so I most likely won't see him again, and if I do it'll only be for a minute or so as we're leaving work. Ive only has this problem so far like a few times in my life, but it's hard for me. The guy at the drumming circle, was hugging everyone who walked in, it was a healing drumming circle, but idk why he tried to hug me if I was walking away from him. I handled that really well actually, but then later he touched my knee, to show me to put my knees by the drum or something like that...and that's when I got upset. I have a hard time talking, so idk if I can tell them to stop, I try to look away and walk away and show with my body I don't like it, and most people leave me alone, but a few are like what I wrote above,
  2. Yes, you can move it if you think it'll get more answers...because none of my posts are really getting much answers. Also 2 nights ago I got upset cause I was at a drumming circle and the guy came over to hug me and I only met him once. I ran to the back but he still like brushed up on my back or arm as I turned to the back. Anyway I did good with that, really well and stayed the whole night and then as he was showing me something on the drums, he touched my knee to show me and after I said to my mom I wanted to leave and went to sleep cause I was so tired and upset. My mom just said oh he's a healer he won't hurt you...usually my moms really good with me but it didn't seem she was understanding at that time
  3. I have to many triggers and I want to know how I can deal with them better and maybe even get rid of some? I feel like I've tried all there is to try, therapy, meds, eft, faster eft, hypnosis, meditation....and so so much more, but if I named all of them, it'd be like a whole page worth of typing right there. But I'm triggered so easily and so bad. A lot of times its from movies or books and I don't know the scene will trigger me until it does..,and when I tell people, there answer is to stop reading or watching, which is so annoying and unhelpful cause obviously I'm gonna stop, but that doesn't take back what I read or saw. I feel like it's making my life so hard. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm triggered at the time, but realize afterward when I have nightmares and can't fall asleep...like for example, my moms friend stays with me when my mom is away sometimes and one time we had to go to her house to get something, and her husband was walking around in his underwear, but a second before I realized that, I thought he was naked and got triggered and had nightmares about being abused sexually by him every night...and it was so uncomfortable for me...and idk why it was such a big deal when other people would probably think it was funny. So idk what my issue is...but yeah, I'd like it to stop
  4. Also the thing I'm worried about most, is not being able to socialize, but that I'm unable to figure out mentally how to do very small things, that shouldn't be to hard. Idk what happens to my brain...but it changes...it's like I become an idiot(I don't know how else to say it)
  5. I think for me, it's not even that I'm anxious around kids. It's more that I'm anxious around kids when I'm anxious around adults, and those adults are in the room and watching everything I say and do...and then my processing speed goes way down and I can't do what I am usually able to do, which is play with kids. So if I was the only one in the room besides the kids, I'd do better. But the job coach knows I have anxiety, and acts like just telling me to interact more is helpful when it's not. I actually thought it was funny one time, because I was hanging out with this family and the little girl who is about 5, asked me if I'm shy and is that why I'm so quiet, so I just said yes...and she said "oh you just gotta talk to people more and then you'll be not shy anymore" and I was like woah....you just said what every therapist I've been to have said, but you said it in a way more simple way and didn't make me pay 100 dollars to hear it. With social anxiety it's always "just go go talk to people and you won't have social anxiety anymore" my job coaches never understand it at all.
  6. I'm having a hard time, especially at jobs and volunteer work, because being even just a little bit nervous, always slows down my processing speed a lot and I can't figure out how to solve simple problems...like there was one time when I was helping a kid wash there hands and there weren't any paper towels and I couldn't figure out what to do. I also feel like im getting worse because I used to be able to work with kids really well, but now I can't even play with or talk to the kids at the preschool I work at, so I end up sitting in a chair staring off into the air all day. This is a paid internship, for a program I'm in which is for people with disabilities to get help with jobs and giving them job coaches, my job coach is very unhelpful to because she just says to me over and over to go interact or talk to or play with the kids...but idk exactly how to do those things because of the slow processing speed and she doesn't tell me what to say or do...just to go interact or go talk to them....
  7. Thank you, your the first one who hasn't acted like I'm over reacting to it. That helps me feel better.
  8. Ok so to start off, I've been diagnosed with autism so I get certain services and one of them is job training and coaching. The program pays me(a special needs pre school) to have me intern once a week and pays for a job coach...which is actually my moms friend. Anyway on the 1st day of work, I was helping in the gym class and in a classroom, and during gym, the teachers introduced themselves and shook my hands(all women except 1 man) when the man came over to shake my hand, I felt a uncomfortable feeling about him...like an instinct and I don't always feel that with men, anyway I ignored his hand and looked down and away and made it known I didn't want interaction with him...so he sticks his hand in my face, then keeps it there, then bends down and touches me knee, before I jumped up and moved, all this and my job coach says and does nothing. Since then I've stopped working in the gym and only work in the classroom where there's no men...but I saw him once more in the hallway one day and he started to stick out his hand and I quickly ran by, prepared this time...my job coach said to him "she's ok" as I went past him...idk what that even means or how it helps, anyway the whole situation makes me so mad...because this guy knows I'm uncomfortable and keeps trying to get me to have physical contact anyway(he also I think knows I'm in this program so maybe he thinks he should teach me social skills cause of my autism and such...which is really innaporiate I think) and annoyed that my job coach isn't doing her job of helping me or defending me when she knows I'm upset. But also I want to know...how do I deal with men like this out of work to? Men that want a handshake or whatever when I don't want to...and a lot of times I do shake a mans hand but there are some times when I feel like I just don't trust the person enough or am not feeling like i want to.
  9. Yeah, I think a lot of times I can't easily move away from the person though, because for example this situation has happened in a movie theater and a car. My job coach picked me up from my house, and I guess she expected me to have a full conversation with her, after waking up just 10 mins earlier and also knowing I'm a quiet person, and kept asking and then in the movie theatre a girl I was with kept staring at me and asking...I could feel her staring to. I'm trying to get a new job coach anyway. Thank you for the advice, I really should speak up for myself more
  10. Does anyone else here hate and actually get nervous by the question are you ok? I hate it so much. People ask me soon often, even when it's so obvious I'm fine. Even if I'm just tired and not in a talkative mood. I get asked this. I hate it because usually people ask me way more then just once. So after the 2nd or 3rd time, my mind starts to think....wait, why are they asking again? Am I doing something weird? Am I having tics again? What's wrong with me? Something must be wrong or why else would they ask me so many times in a row?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Lol. Also does getting this annoyed mean I have anger issues? Sometimes I seriously worry about that, with all the little things that annoy me a lot.
  11. Is it weird to have the delusions and paranoia without any hallucinations? Because I think that's usually what I get... Or I get very unclear hallucinations like I'll hear gibberish in my head...no actual words...but like before in the past I've gotten the feeling people can read my mind by looking at me or that evil spirits are watching over me and will drag me away when I fall asleep...? It started at 14 and I remember telling a therapist I cut myself because other people are trying to control my mind and she asked if I was hearing things and I said no...and she was like well then how do you know that? I can't remember the reason now but yeah...just wondering if anyone else has had this? And what would this be?
  12. I do have a few friends i dont see to often but I don't really feel that closeness with them...and if its a party or more then 1 friend i feel very lonely again
  13. I feel lonely alot even when im around family. actually most of the time i feel this way and alot of the times i feel even more lonely when im around other people more so then when im alone. i always get really depressed though. I like to be able to take care of someone so usually i just wish i had a baby or little sibling or pet ect more then anything else. i dont think ill ever be able to adopt even though i wish i could because i want a child but because of the mental illness and other things...... anyway idk what to do or how to deal with this. i have 3 siblings ones married and parents and a dog and its not enough...
  14. Does anyone else here feel such intense lonliness and jealousy that they might even wish they were dead sometimes? Any time i see anyone in any kind of relationships (2 sisters holding hands, parents hugging child, gf and bf making out) i get such bad feelings of jealousy and sadness idk what to do...
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