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About Seahorse

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    Over-enthousiastic sentimental wuss in an adorable dress

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    Science, making cocktails, swimming, organizing events, parties, weightlifting, all things cultural and arty, staring at gorgeous individuals

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  1. You've done what you could then. Thats good.
  2. You are not alone. I've met people of all sorts of orientations. I once had a hook-up with a girl who identified as heteroromantic but homosexual. Personally, I'm still not sure either. I know now that I am biromantic, but sexually there is this stereotypical straight woman inside of me that sees penis and gets turned on. But I guess its also that Ive encountered a lot of (female) pillow princesses and passivity usually doesnt turn me on. Good luck!
  3. Rest, rest, rest, sleep. And doing things that I like, like exercise, walking around in the city, skimming through food magazines, cooking, online window shopping, playing a game (together or alone)...
  4. Thanks for the reply. It's probably the fluoxitine. I've got other symptoms as well now. So...here we go..!
  5. Ah, I've thought of all sorts. First I thought I was bisexual and heteroromantic indeed. Now I know that I'm panromantic. Yay, I've figured one thing out. I thought I was heterosexual for some years. And then I kissed a good female friend of mine and sparks flew everywhere and we were both soaked within two minutes kissing. Yeah, I dunno. Bisexual it is, then? When I think of it, I know people with all flavors of bi- and pansexuality. Heteroromantic and bisexual, homoromantic and bisexual, biromantic and demisexual, even a girl who was heteroromantic and homosexual.
  6. Have I really accepted my bisexuality? Not completely. The hardest part for me is the nagging idea that I'm not 'really' bi. It's very hard to shake that off. I was really in love with my ex gf, but my sexual attraction towards women is different than towards (biological) men. So...yeah.
  7. Hi. It's me again. For three days, I've been feeling dizzy. It's a bit like a hangover without the rest of the symptoms. I went to the GP: bloodpressure was perfect, thyriod fine, heart fine. He said a lack of vitamins was highly doubtful. I said I also had nightmares and was crying a lot, so I felt like my fluoxetine might have pooped out after 2 years. My pdoc said that could be the case, but you don't feel that all of a sudden. I took some rest, my nightmares seem to have gone. I still cry more often but that's not extraordinary. I wonder if this is a form of derealisation, or burn out. I can function suprisingly well, though. Just the fucking dizziness, like I'm not there like normal. I've been stable on 20mg fluoxetine for 2 years and I take 18-27-36mg methylfenidate on workdays for about a year now.
  8. No, thats not weird at all. I liked the pain and exhaustion from kickboxing. A lot.
  9. Wow, I always thought that my irritatability was part of who I am as well. As well as my agression. But I do know when I was very 'low' (lots of bpd, depression, and with a narcissist at that time) even going to the supermarket was painful because I wanted to kick people and shout at them for not moving fast enough. Now I mostly get irritated and agressive when I"n tired and overstimulated (sounds, man! Noise!). I try to have earplugs with me when I use public transportation. The agression... Enough exercise, sleep and rest, helps a lot. Its way better thab it used to be, so I guess this is a sorta normal level of agression for me.
  10. Yes I use fetlife. Its nice for finding information and signing up for events, keeping up with friends. Its similar to many social media websites.
  11. Thank you guys. Wow. It's been exactly a year. I am not 100 percent confident to say that I have healed from this. However, my urges and acting upon them are in control now for 95 percent of the time. Which is fucking (no pun intended) amazing. I am self-parenting myself highly though - if its risky, aka a situation that used to be a bad idea to have sex in - I seldom do it anymore. I also force myself to be less impulsive, e.g. on a first date only kiss, see how that goes and think about what I want for a while. I do find it hard to orgasm without porn. I want to try to lessen my porn consumption, mostly the more extreme stuff. But thats not easy. Fluoxetine also makes it hard to orgasm. But that shit also saved my life.
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