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  1. Yes. I have been feeling good. It's so weird! Of course my day was just ruined by hurtful comments made to me from a post I made. Jeez. It makes me not want to post here. I feel like crying now.
  2. Have you tried geodon? Then you may share your experience. Do you have a peer reviewed paper to present that proves anything about Geodon? No? Then stop bad mouthing medications about which you know *nothing.* No med is right for everyone, as well you know. You are not in a position to say what other people should and should not take. That's kind if harsh. I was only trying to help. Instead I feel very hurt. I wasn't trying to bad mouth a medication. At least not intentionally. It's really not very nice to bash someone who is giving their opinion when they are genuinely trying to help and support someone. This thread is not about me. I doubt anyone here is an expert. I was under the impression that expertise wouldn't be necessary to share an opinion. To the OP, I am sorry if I offended you.
  3. I'm not an expert but it doesn't sound like your Meds are helping you very much. I remember taking Wellbutrin once and it put me in a severe mental state and that was when I was first DX'd with BP. I know I've been in a progressively worsening mixed state for about a month and a week ago my pdoc bumped my Lamictal up and already it has helped. (Crossing my fingers that it will continue.) anyway, I have heard bad things about geodon. Have you considered getting a new pdoc and tdoc? It could help to start fresh. I think people who have an intense fear of rejection tend to test people I their life to see how much they will take before they leave you. I am one of those people and I've done that with everyone in my life. The only ones who have stuck by me is my family and my boyfriend, who is kind of an asshole. I think therapy could help. I am thinking about getting therapy again. But you sound like you are stronger than you think. I remember one time when I was inpatient, my pdoc there told me that I had to help my pills work. Oh hell! I am probably not being much help at all! But you are not alone in yor suffering.
  4. Okay. Miracle of all miracles. Today is day two of feeling both calm and not depressed! I have not felt this good in longer than I remember! I am so grateful. I hope it continues bit if it doesn't these 2 days are such a gift. Yay Lamictal!!!
  5. Chantho, have you tried to get on patient assistant program from the pharmaceutical companies? I don't have ins and get my Seroquel XR that way. I only have to pay $8 every 3 months. The income limit is very high. Well, at least in my world! Also, can your pdoc replace the Meds you take with generic. Well, some generics are still pretty high, but maybe you could try I find a more affordable substitute. Ask your pdoc about it. One time when I had trouble paying for Meds, NAMI helped out. I think they only do it once and there is a limit to how much they an give. Of course, it might be different where you are. I have a lot more resources available to me because the place I go to is (I think) funded by government. I'm going by what is available to me here. Another option is a church. I don't remember how I found the info but I color a list of organizations that help wit payments for Meds. Most of them were churches, who also can help out in lots of ways even if you aren't religious. Okay. Here is some extremely cool info that I want to share with everyone on this site, but don't know how. Of course this info could already be available. There is a prescription savings place called "GoodRX.com" . I found it when I did an online search for med prices. Okay, I'm having trouble explaining it. Too hard for my little brain right now! Here's how it works: you go to the website and type in your location and drug name and it finds drug prices nearest you and it is listed starting with lowest prices and closest place. Here is how I saved: Lamictal 200 mg 60 tablets were $48. With the plan, I found them at Target do $15. Klonopin prices shot up in Dec and at my pharmacy went from almost $10 to $27. With GoodRX they are $5 at target. That's going from almost $80 to $20. I'm lucky that my Meds are at such low prices. Especially since a lot of medications prices have increased in the past several months. This GoodRX is FREE! All you have to do is sign up and they send you a card or you can just print out coupons. I just found all this out as out 6 months ago. I used it first at walmart and once you use that card, the pharmacy automatically uses that. Oh, forgot about my pain Meds: Tramadol was made a controlled substance and the price went from $10 to $48 (I thinking, maybe more, my memory sucks!). With the savings program it is $8 at walmart Baclofen 20 mg 60 count went from $12 tk $76. With the savings program it is $8 That's a savings of almost $120. So with the other Meds i take. . The total I ended saving for four Meds is almost $200. Of course the prices I listed as being the prices at the pharmacy I used, which is also government funded and they did price matching and gave me the lowest price, which was considerably lower than other pharmacies that are not government funded. I used the brand names even though they're generic because I can't spell the generic names! And I rounded some of the prices to the nearest tenth because I couldn't remember the exact price, but they are very close. The first time I used it I fully expected it to not work because it sounded too good to be true but here is how they do this. The way they explain on the website is it is kind of like expedia.com but instead of finding the lowest travel costs they find the lowest drug costs. They make fheir money from the advertising that results from their price searches. It really works! And this is absolutely not spam. There might be other companies out there that do the same thing. When I went to my pain mgmt dr they had cards for a drug savings program that was different. If this sounds like spam (I just had that thought that promoting a website might be construed as spam. If that is the case then moderators can delete this post. I hope no one thinks it's spam after my long ass post! I just wanted to share options that significantly lowered the amount I pay for Meds.
  6. *Crossing fingers* today so far I feel much calmer. More depressed and I cried for about 3 hrs last night over nothing. I think that is better than how I was feeling yesterday. I really feel like right now I should be in the dictionary under the word "bipolar". It's unbelievable how debilitating this mixed state shit is. If I had a job, I would have probably been fired. Well that would be if I could actually hold down a job.
  7. Okay, that makes me feel like maybe I'm not going psychotic. It's weird but it feels like my depression is less often and the mania more and worse. But then out of the blue the depression hits hard. I know. Totally not making sense. So. I am the opposite of tired! I feel like I drank 2 pots of coffee. And not in a happy way. Oh, what I meant was my pdoc changed my Lamictal dose from 150in the am and 200 on pm to 200 bid. Here are my other Meds: Lamictal 200 mg BID Seroquel XR 150 mg at bedtime Klonopin .5 mg at bedtime For pain: Tramadol 50 mg 4 times daily Baclofen 20 mg BID (muscle relaxant) So the only thing different is 50 mg increase in Lamictal. Unless you count the extra Seroquel I took earlier because I thought I was losing my mind. It calmed me down for a few hrs but then back to losing it. I feel sooooo angry. But maybe I can sleep tonight. I keep staying really late and getting up really early when usually I sleep really well. Anyway, thanks for listening.
  8. So, I've been in a mixed state for about a month and just saw new pdoc ties and she upped my Lamictal from 350/ day to 200/ day. So I've been on that dose for four days. I am all over the place but what I'm most worried about is that I have become extremely irritable where I feel rage. And I'm even having physical symptoms like shaking hands and. Dropping things. I am very startled with unexpected sounds. And sounds that would usually just annoy me make me feel rage. What the help is wrong with me?? I am really freaking out.
  9. What dose if Lamictal were you on and did you try an increase? I've been taking Lamictal for about 5 yrs along with klonopin and Seroquel XR and it usually has kept me pretty stable except occasionally. I don't expect any med or combination to work 100% of the time so I consider most of the time to be success. But I am in the middle of a really bad mixed state right now and just went from 150 am and 200 pm to 200 bid. It's only been 3 days so I don't think it would work this fast.. Anyway, adding something to the mix may be helpful. Oh, and just to let you know, I don't have ins right now and I get my Seroquel XR through the patient assistant plan and I only have to pay $8 every 3 months. The amount you have to make is much more than you would think.
  10. I actually ended up taking a extra half Seroquel. I take Seroquel XR and split a pill in half so it didn't take long and I feel much better. I know you're technically not supposed to split an XR but I've done it before. I only take 150 mg a day. I have to go to the store again today and there is no way I could do it if I hadn't taken that extra Seroquel. I totally don't even have any more stress than usual in my life right now. I guess you can only be stable for so long when you're BP. Well, mostly!
  11. I was reading about the application process and read that it's best if you're pdoc gets things started so they don't have their own docs doing the exam because their job is to make it more difficult to qualify.
  12. I am pretty sure I am having a mixed episode. Is it normal for pdocs to not really talk about your DX? The pdoc I've been seeing for 8 yrs retired a couple of months so I just saw this new one for the first time on tues. I really liked her right away. When it comes to dr.'s of any kind I think first impressions are really important. She seems very nice. She seemed like the most important thing was to help "bring me down". Which makes sense considering that outweighed my depression in severity. Although the depression was bad enough for me to have suicidal thoughts. But I've been there , done that many times. I've mostly had hypo mania, except for a few times. But they never lasted so long. This mixed crap started about a month ago and has gotten progressively worse. I've been having panic attacks bad enough that my heart end up pounding. And frequently. And I've had the most severe anxiety of my life. Racing thoughts so bad I can't do anything, not even watch a tv show without rewinding many times because I couldn't concentrate because my mind just won't shut up. And watching tv Is about the most mindless thing I do. And then I am crying for no reason whatsoever. I went to the grocery store last night and it was soooooo bad. I kept feeling like people were giving me dirty looks. And I was so extremely irritable and agitated. I guess I just have to deal while I wait to see if the of increase will help. I thought about taking extra Seroquel but then I wouldn't know if the lg increase was helping. Sorry for going on and on but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this shit. Usually I would talk to my older sister. She worked as a psych nurse for 15 yrs. but she just got a job as a nurse on a cruise ship and is not usually able to talk unless she is docked.
  13. Okay. My depression. Is a little better bit my mania is worse. Would that happen in 3 days or am I just having another really sucky day? I don't have the option of calling pdoc, she's not on call. I can only wait until Mon. I guess that's just 2 days away, but I feel like I am seriously losing it. I'm pretty good at hiding my illness but can't really do that right now. I feel like screaming and pulling my hair out. Grrrrr...... I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but does it really have to be so hard??
  14. I've been taking Lamictal for years and never had that side effect. There are other things that definitely can cause hair loss: stress is a big one, lack of vitamins and protein (I think). I remember reading about a vitamin that is good for your hair, but I can't remember what it was. I will look it up. I have had some hair loss recently, but I'm under a tremendous amount of stress (mixed episodes will do that to you!) and I haven't been eating enough. Which has a positive side effect do weight loss because I quit smoking a little over a yr ago and gained wt. I am thinking of trying one of those hair growth products. I was looking online and found some generic that weren't very expensive. I am 44 though and I'm worried that because of my age it might not be temporary. But you are really young so the probability is very high that if is temporary. If it helps you I would think its a side effect that outweighs the hair loss. At least until you see if it's temporary and if the improved nutrition help.
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