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About subeau

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  1. ive been on 5mg for years then i tried cutting it to half that(aha!)now ive been increased to 10 mg for about 2 weeks
  2. lol i see two therapists & my abilify was increased.im a complete mess!thank you tho for responding.that alone helped.
  3. it lingers.im embarrassed & at a loss.here i was all excited to go to my doc & tell her the increase worked but now im back.not in a deep a hole as i was but its there.in my core.i have bursts of slightly manic behavior followed by regret.my friends dont understand so i pretend.could this be due to my outside circumstances(my life is in limbo for the first time ever.)?is there anything i can do?
  4. my doc increased my abilify & zoloft during a black depression.the releif was almost instant...even ever so slightly manic.that was about 6 days ago.starting yesterday i began to feel blue.not black but blue.is this normal?am i just evening out?im scared about going back to that dark place.
  5. im 53 & spent the last 20 years raising children.im not exactly marketable.just adds to my stress.last job i had i snapped & that was that.its not an excuse.well it might be an excuse
  6. is there anyone else here who just cannot work or hold a job because eventually their bipolar takes over & the world spins out of their control?mania or depression or that mean little raging combo of both makes playing well with others an ordeal?& is there anyone here who has a close personal public who just doesnt believe them & harps "just get a job" "having a job will get you out of yourself".i feel like noboody gets it & im quite tired of defending my position.been there done that
  7. a higher dose of anti depressives & practicing an i dont give a f*** attitude. fingers crossed
  8. thank you for the incredible welcome ps...i have a lawyer..i dont think anyone but my shrink buys the fact that i simply cannot work.i eventually go postal.
  9. thanks!yes im diagnosed for some time now.my kids are over 18 so leaving my husband was a must-do. my last hospitalization put me on the right cocktail & ive since changed from a nutsy overworked overbooked dr with a LISTENING problem to a sympathetic nurse practitioner.we'll see how that works.i'll see her tomorrow & blame it on my bipolar as opposed to my divorce.sometimes when i get nuts i actually forget that im sick.apparently so does everyone else.my husband didnt forget but that was his only redeeming quality
  10. misdiagnosed for years.my disease has whispered in my ear & lead me to do some baaaaaaaad stuff.in my recent period of clarity i have left my husband my home my children(no they arent babies)& taken refuge with a friend in a nearby state.my husband wants to leave me with no money no cobra healthcare.i did consider weaning off meds i wouldnt be able to afford.bad choice.i changed my mind on that one.however despite my many meds i am now enduring a deep deep bipolar depression.i didnt even figure out it was my bipolar untill i realized that before it hit i had been jumping out of my skin
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