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About San

  • Rank
    Lawful Evil

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  • Gender
    trans male
  • Location
    ON, Canada
  • Interests
    Reading, playing with hot metal, plasma cutters, cats..

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15,336 profile views
  1. I ice my coffee most of the time and drink it black, but when I lived a block away from 7-11, I would go make a hazelnut iced coffee with hazelnut creamers and regular sugar. I recommend looking for flavoured cream, you can get it at most grocery stores and many convenience stores, there is hazelnut flavoured cream so you can make it at home, it's very tasty. I'm not sure what it would be in the US. At school we can either get regular, French vanilla or English toffee. I get English toffee 99% of the time. Wish we had hazelnut, I should bring my own, and add it.
  2. I say Hokum. That "advice" is just.. literally deadly. I blame the stigma.Who wants to be mentally ill? I'm glad clozapine works, @MiaB. It's a serious drug, but it has serious results.
  3. Building muscle, did 5 dumbbell exercises, 3 reps of each for 30 seconds. Did 100 push ups and sit ups. Here's a pic of my arms a week ago, one month after starting.
  4. The rules indicate this is a first person site. I'm not going to throw a tantrum on you, but as a mod, I enforce rules -first person being a major one. Don't be an asshole is also a rule. I've seen worse, but you're on a fine line. Also, rules are rules, if you don't like it, *shrug*
  5. ECT has never been reported for causing brain damage, even going back many years. They now use very low current in comparison. Also, they use bilateral, unilateral or from the front (forgot name) depending on various circumstance. I was taken off valium for ECT. I was not on any ACs. It worked extremely well for me. If I needed to, I'd do it again if necessary. I he bilateral and unilateral alternating treatments. Memory is fuzzy on some things, other things are crystal clear. For the record, I have far worse memory loss from even mild depression, mania and psychosis.
  6. Yes, I did. I had to stop lithium. I was treated with a diuretic called HCTZ (name is long) which works opposite with DI. After stopping lithium and taking HCTZ my dr's did a 2 week trial off HCTZ to see if symptoms came back (stopping lithium is generally treatment, its not permanent. However, you cannot take HCTZ with lithium and the treatment is don't take lithium. At all. I have permanent damage, my eGFR is in the 60's.) HCTZ can cause low potassium so I took 'behind the counter' (not Rx, but not out in the open) potassium calculated by your blood work reading. After 2 weeks off HCTZ I was fine. The big problem with DI is that you pee protein. That's how I was dx'd. That is not good.
  7. Didn't get apprenticeship after all that. I've been so Davey, I can't talk about it. Can't stop crying. Feel like a goddamn failure.What did I do so wrong to end up 33, no friends, job.. I really hate myself right now.

    It was too good to be true.

    At least the application fees to the millwright program aren't wasted. I'm saving up for September hopefully. If not, Jan 2019. College has good payment plans, I'll be working.. 'earn while you learn' is the apprentice motto.. the course gives me the equivalent as the UA program would have..

    1. M@ri


      I'm sorry, San. You're a good egg. Keep going.

  8. WOOHOOO!!!! Today is a good day.

  9. Weird Al in TO.

    Great show, fun times.


    1. wookie


      he is awesome... my favourite is weenie in a bottle (spoof on Brittany Spears song)

  10. Thorazine wasn't created to be an antipsychotic. That was an accident. It's original use was an antihistamine. Many antipsychotics have antihistamine properties. Anyways, thorazine is rarely used anymore because of the side effects. It was also used IV as surgical anesthetic. It also stops hiccups if they go on long enough, for some reason.. But ending psychosurgery, lifetime institutionalization and whatnot, how horrible of antipsychotics! And before I get bullshit this and bullshit that.Ya, thorazine sucks. It was the first, it obviously wasn't perfect. But it was a major breakthrough. And yes, it sucks taking meds. It sucks having side effects. Akathasia is hell, and I know that from experience. Cogentin is intolerable to me, its worse than EPS and akathasia, I take Artane. I take an older antipsychotic right now, fortunately no huge side effects. But I've had terrifying psychotic episodes where I've almost accidentally ended up dead because I was that out of touch with reality (running through my town in socks, jeans, t-shirt in the snow in -20 C weather until help came.. not my finest hour). The thought of that is worse than any medication.
  11. Congrats on the job! I find driving on the highway (freeway) is a lot faster and safer than side roads or city roads. The worst part is the on-ramp and merging and then you're good. So focus on getting on the highway, once you're actually on the highway, stay in the lane you need as much as possible, and its pretty much a straight line until your exit. When I started driving I hated highways, but my mom basically said its faster and safer, no lights, no need to change lanes unless necessary (in Canada, we get into the left lane at on-ramps, if traffic permits, to let those coming onto the highway an easier merge, driving in the USA, I've found that people don't do that there.) and you just hit 100km/h and its easy from there. You miss a lot of the normal distractions driving on a non-highway road, after a few drives, you'll probably find it easier and faster. They also tend to maintain highways better, better roads, first to be plowed when it snows.. Again, congrats!
  12. Thought everyone would get a kick out of this.. nerdcore. I couldn't find an official video, only live.. Obey the moderator!
  13. San

    whatever the weather

    Its snowing pretty hard, high winds. Expected 30cm (approx. 1 foot) My mom may get her snow day! The alert ends around 2:00pm tomorrow, this is a storm where driving is discouraged and she has a 20-25 min commute in good weather, its direct highway, right into country roads. Yea, damn wipers. Not going anywhere anyways. I love watching storms, hate everything about them except tobagganing and having horses pull us around on snowboards, heh.
  14. San

    whatever the weather

    Under a special weather statement for a winter storm and flash freeze. Its currently raining with ice and snow, as the temp goes down its turning to snow, leaving a layer of ice under everything, which is the dangerous part. And the worst when you scrape off your car, last storm (3 weeks ago) I broke my new passengers side windshield wiper. After a squall a week prior, my drivers side windshield fell off, both while getting snow and ice off. They were professionally put on, I replaced both. Now I have to go back and replace my passengers side. I have wiper problems with this car. Also, winter tires are a waste of money. Compared from my car to my moms, keep your tires maintained! We're looking at 15cm of snow, which is nothing. Its the ice that's the problem. And my mom won't get her snow day from work.
  15. It's called gender dysphoria, and it doesn't mean you're crazy. The treatment is generally therapy, and after evaluation, transition, if that's what you want. Its not the fastest process, nor something to take lightly. I'm a transman and I started hormones Feb 28, 2017. (Testosterone, T) I give myself injections weekly, a nurse at the office I go to taught me, after being approved. Honestly, its not painful, except T is suspended in oil, so it hurts your thumb to push on the plunger, heh. My nurse showed me what to do for the first shot (I use my thighs, most guys do) and supervised me for 5 more, then sent me on my own with supplies. Every 3 months I pick up a new pack of syringes, needles, etc.. its single use, and its awesome they supply them for their patients. (My healthcare centre is mostly LGBT patients, awesome) I had been with one of their therapists for about 7 years, and cleared for hormones (HRT) years before. But its a huge decision. I'm much happier. Most of the time I pass as male.. its almost been a year, and I'm light blond, so facial hair is hard to see. (Don't. dye. it.) Starting T, well, you go through puberty again, but as a male.. your voice cracks, zits.. but it wasn't like the hell puberty as the wrong gender was.. It takes forever, but its better that than regretting it. If you have questions, I'll answer as best I can.. my pdoc was as excited about me going on T as I was. He advocated for me. I've been more stable, all things considered (tragedy in the family) and on less meds.. and therapy, meeting with doctors, wasn't about "when I was a child I..." It was much more interesting, my endo is fucking amazing, and my PCP (shes a nurse practitioner, specializes in healthcare for transmen and transwomen) is also amazing. My endo first appointment was talking about hobbies, my life, school, my pdocs letter (he said he had never seen a doc advocate like mine did for me, I said I had no problem consenting to share information) and after a really fast hour (but he said it in the first 10 minutes) he wrote the Rx, asked if I wanted the shot that day, as I was a perfect candidate.. then paperwork, because some effects are permanent, informed consent, etc.. I went to the pharmacy, and on and on.. You could cut your hair if you wanted.. I never had long hair because it always tangled, a lot over summer, swimming, horseback riding (competing it had to be hidden, hairnets.. all riders required.. ugh) and as a welder, well, (not joking) there was risk of it catching on fire if I forgot to hide it.. An undercut (I have a side swept one) is really popular, if you have longer hair, and your parents aren't sure, there are "female variations".. it has a million variations, and you can wear any of them any way.. I love my undercut. My parents were used to me showing up with blue.. purple.. etc.. hair.. no hair.. so they love this style! I've always preferred short hair on myself, and my mom prefers short hair on herself, so we've never had issues over how my hair was done.. I'd flip through for-men's haircut books, as a kid, because they were less maintenance and cleaner looking than the one's in the for-womens books.. and they always turned out better..
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