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Everything posted by San

  1. I ice my coffee most of the time and drink it black, but when I lived a block away from 7-11, I would go make a hazelnut iced coffee with hazelnut creamers and regular sugar. I recommend looking for flavoured cream, you can get it at most grocery stores and many convenience stores, there is hazelnut flavoured cream so you can make it at home, it's very tasty. I'm not sure what it would be in the US. At school we can either get regular, French vanilla or English toffee. I get English toffee 99% of the time. Wish we had hazelnut, I should bring my own, and add it.
  2. I say Hokum. That "advice" is just.. literally deadly. I blame the stigma.Who wants to be mentally ill? I'm glad clozapine works, @MiaB. It's a serious drug, but it has serious results.
  3. Building muscle, did 5 dumbbell exercises, 3 reps of each for 30 seconds. Did 100 push ups and sit ups. Here's a pic of my arms a week ago, one month after starting.
  4. The rules indicate this is a first person site. I'm not going to throw a tantrum on you, but as a mod, I enforce rules -first person being a major one. Don't be an asshole is also a rule. I've seen worse, but you're on a fine line. Also, rules are rules, if you don't like it, *shrug*
  5. ECT has never been reported for causing brain damage, even going back many years. They now use very low current in comparison. Also, they use bilateral, unilateral or from the front (forgot name) depending on various circumstance. I was taken off valium for ECT. I was not on any ACs. It worked extremely well for me. If I needed to, I'd do it again if necessary. I he bilateral and unilateral alternating treatments. Memory is fuzzy on some things, other things are crystal clear. For the record, I have far worse memory loss from even mild depression, mania and psychosis.
  6. Yes, I did. I had to stop lithium. I was treated with a diuretic called HCTZ (name is long) which works opposite with DI. After stopping lithium and taking HCTZ my dr's did a 2 week trial off HCTZ to see if symptoms came back (stopping lithium is generally treatment, its not permanent. However, you cannot take HCTZ with lithium and the treatment is don't take lithium. At all. I have permanent damage, my eGFR is in the 60's.) HCTZ can cause low potassium so I took 'behind the counter' (not Rx, but not out in the open) potassium calculated by your blood work reading. After 2 weeks off HCTZ I was fine. The big problem with DI is that you pee protein. That's how I was dx'd. That is not good.
  7. Didn't get apprenticeship after all that. I've been so Davey, I can't talk about it. Can't stop crying. Feel like a goddamn failure.What did I do so wrong to end up 33, no friends, job.. I really hate myself right now.

    It was too good to be true.

    At least the application fees to the millwright program aren't wasted. I'm saving up for September hopefully. If not, Jan 2019. College has good payment plans, I'll be working.. 'earn while you learn' is the apprentice motto.. the course gives me the equivalent as the UA program would have..

    1. M@ri


      I'm sorry, San. You're a good egg. Keep going.

  8. WOOHOOO!!!! Today is a good day.

  9. Weird Al in TO.

    Great show, fun times.


    1. wookie


      he is awesome... my favourite is weenie in a bottle (spoof on Brittany Spears song)

  10. Thorazine wasn't created to be an antipsychotic. That was an accident. It's original use was an antihistamine. Many antipsychotics have antihistamine properties. Anyways, thorazine is rarely used anymore because of the side effects. It was also used IV as surgical anesthetic. It also stops hiccups if they go on long enough, for some reason.. But ending psychosurgery, lifetime institutionalization and whatnot, how horrible of antipsychotics! And before I get bullshit this and bullshit that.Ya, thorazine sucks. It was the first, it obviously wasn't perfect. But it was a major breakthrough. And yes, it sucks taking meds. It sucks having side effects. Akathasia is hell, and I know that from experience. Cogentin is intolerable to me, its worse than EPS and akathasia, I take Artane. I take an older antipsychotic right now, fortunately no huge side effects. But I've had terrifying psychotic episodes where I've almost accidentally ended up dead because I was that out of touch with reality (running through my town in socks, jeans, t-shirt in the snow in -20 C weather until help came.. not my finest hour). The thought of that is worse than any medication.
  11. Congrats on the job! I find driving on the highway (freeway) is a lot faster and safer than side roads or city roads. The worst part is the on-ramp and merging and then you're good. So focus on getting on the highway, once you're actually on the highway, stay in the lane you need as much as possible, and its pretty much a straight line until your exit. When I started driving I hated highways, but my mom basically said its faster and safer, no lights, no need to change lanes unless necessary (in Canada, we get into the left lane at on-ramps, if traffic permits, to let those coming onto the highway an easier merge, driving in the USA, I've found that people don't do that there.) and you just hit 100km/h and its easy from there. You miss a lot of the normal distractions driving on a non-highway road, after a few drives, you'll probably find it easier and faster. They also tend to maintain highways better, better roads, first to be plowed when it snows.. Again, congrats!
  12. Thought everyone would get a kick out of this.. nerdcore. I couldn't find an official video, only live.. Obey the moderator!
  13. Its snowing pretty hard, high winds. Expected 30cm (approx. 1 foot) My mom may get her snow day! The alert ends around 2:00pm tomorrow, this is a storm where driving is discouraged and she has a 20-25 min commute in good weather, its direct highway, right into country roads. Yea, damn wipers. Not going anywhere anyways. I love watching storms, hate everything about them except tobagganing and having horses pull us around on snowboards, heh.
  14. Under a special weather statement for a winter storm and flash freeze. Its currently raining with ice and snow, as the temp goes down its turning to snow, leaving a layer of ice under everything, which is the dangerous part. And the worst when you scrape off your car, last storm (3 weeks ago) I broke my new passengers side windshield wiper. After a squall a week prior, my drivers side windshield fell off, both while getting snow and ice off. They were professionally put on, I replaced both. Now I have to go back and replace my passengers side. I have wiper problems with this car. Also, winter tires are a waste of money. Compared from my car to my moms, keep your tires maintained! We're looking at 15cm of snow, which is nothing. Its the ice that's the problem. And my mom won't get her snow day from work.
  15. It's called gender dysphoria, and it doesn't mean you're crazy. The treatment is generally therapy, and after evaluation, transition, if that's what you want. Its not the fastest process, nor something to take lightly. I'm a transman and I started hormones Feb 28, 2017. (Testosterone, T) I give myself injections weekly, a nurse at the office I go to taught me, after being approved. Honestly, its not painful, except T is suspended in oil, so it hurts your thumb to push on the plunger, heh. My nurse showed me what to do for the first shot (I use my thighs, most guys do) and supervised me for 5 more, then sent me on my own with supplies. Every 3 months I pick up a new pack of syringes, needles, etc.. its single use, and its awesome they supply them for their patients. (My healthcare centre is mostly LGBT patients, awesome) I had been with one of their therapists for about 7 years, and cleared for hormones (HRT) years before. But its a huge decision. I'm much happier. Most of the time I pass as male.. its almost been a year, and I'm light blond, so facial hair is hard to see. (Don't. dye. it.) Starting T, well, you go through puberty again, but as a male.. your voice cracks, zits.. but it wasn't like the hell puberty as the wrong gender was.. It takes forever, but its better that than regretting it. If you have questions, I'll answer as best I can.. my pdoc was as excited about me going on T as I was. He advocated for me. I've been more stable, all things considered (tragedy in the family) and on less meds.. and therapy, meeting with doctors, wasn't about "when I was a child I..." It was much more interesting, my endo is fucking amazing, and my PCP (shes a nurse practitioner, specializes in healthcare for transmen and transwomen) is also amazing. My endo first appointment was talking about hobbies, my life, school, my pdocs letter (he said he had never seen a doc advocate like mine did for me, I said I had no problem consenting to share information) and after a really fast hour (but he said it in the first 10 minutes) he wrote the Rx, asked if I wanted the shot that day, as I was a perfect candidate.. then paperwork, because some effects are permanent, informed consent, etc.. I went to the pharmacy, and on and on.. You could cut your hair if you wanted.. I never had long hair because it always tangled, a lot over summer, swimming, horseback riding (competing it had to be hidden, hairnets.. all riders required.. ugh) and as a welder, well, (not joking) there was risk of it catching on fire if I forgot to hide it.. An undercut (I have a side swept one) is really popular, if you have longer hair, and your parents aren't sure, there are "female variations".. it has a million variations, and you can wear any of them any way.. I love my undercut. My parents were used to me showing up with blue.. purple.. etc.. hair.. no hair.. so they love this style! I've always preferred short hair on myself, and my mom prefers short hair on herself, so we've never had issues over how my hair was done.. I'd flip through for-men's haircut books, as a kid, because they were less maintenance and cleaner looking than the one's in the for-womens books.. and they always turned out better..
  16. I've got hairs growing all over my chin!

    1. Cerberus


      The irony here is that that is good news.

      For my ex, that exact same line always preceded an immediate dash to the bathroom for half an hour with the tweezers until she decided to say fuck it and spend a small fortune on laser hair removal. Meself, I transitioned from no-shave November to don't-care December without a blink and am now beard-o.

  17. I hate it. And it will be available to buy as easily as liquour and much easier than cigarettes July 1, 2018. That's how Canada ended up with a Liberal majority.. There've been some amusing posts on The Beaverton About it.. Ontario's most hated premier is in charge in Ontario, regulating, I believe.. Just for amusement, because in Canada, this could honestly not be satire. We're so Canadian it's hard to differ satire from real.. (Such as the man that got drunk and swam to Detroit says he's sorry.. that did happen..)
  18. Oh yea, I have vivid dreams on Latuda. No matter when I take it. It's like a replay of what happened that day, but a few changes.
  19. LSD like hallucinations. (I've never done LSD, someone who has told me what they're like.. And the hallucinations were different from my regular psychosis) on Tegretol. When I called my pdoc he told me to get to his office right fucking now.
  20. You treat people like shit, lie, take advantage and get angry when they ask for a buck for gas, complain about everything, think nothing is ever your fault. This is probably why you have trouble making and keeping friends. You're a professional victim and rely on that so nothing is your fault. Grow up, lose the victim bullshit. You can't handle being held responsible for your actions.
  21. It's pretty good at frying your kidneys. Lithium carbonate is another form, works essentially the same way, blood test lithium levels are equal regarding therapeutic dose. Lithium is not something to fuck around with. Its illegal for a reason. If you needed emergency medical attention- you damn well tell them, because its not monitored andyou're buying it illegaly online. Lithium carbonate is regulated and probably costs less anyways.
  22. Got my hair cut. Side sweot undercut. You can almost see my mustache!
  23. You do realize antipsychotics, such as risperdal lower dopamine, right? Too much dopamine results in psychosis. Too little results in Parkinsons and such, hence the EPS side effects, and success in the past with L-dopa in some neurological disorders. (Oliver Sacks)
  24. I so agree with you and think that you handled this well. I agree that tidbit of bullshit said is extremely harmful. I can so relate to you. I have trouble getting off my ass and doing things, but once I'm off it, I can generally get it done. However, not to make you feel bad or humblebrag, pdoc says I've been in remission since early 2014, with little to no symotoms, but fuck, getting started, or keeping interest still aren't 100%. Its not laziness, more fear? But when symptomatic, ha! Forget about it! I'm so sorry you were attacked by an ignoramus. Everyone has days like you describe, but not constant. It fucking sucks. I am glad your mood is stable. It takes time to get everything stable. Its baby steps. Mood stable? Check! Next? Give it time. Don't beag yourself up. Its not instant. Stable mood is the start. The rest will follow. Adjusting back is hard. You're strong. Look at how yiu handled mr. bad advice. That shows your mind is in a good place. I'd rather see someone yell at someone else than keep it in and harm themselves or ruminate. I'd really rather have neither scenario. You have my support, and the other mods too. You are not lazy. I am glad your mood is stable!
  25. Who the hell ard you to ask me, or any member, with one post, or signed up the day it was launched, to explain themselves?
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