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Everything posted by aura

  1. The YouTube people are talking to me. 

    1. Gearhead


      Have you called your doctor?

  2. Is this a symptom? All day long when I hear people say something I realize I knew already exactly what they were going to say. I told pdoc and he said to just keep an eye on it.
  3. Is feeling unsafe - even at home - a symptom of trauma? I also have anxiety disorders, but this feels different.
  4. I take ritalin and it hasn't caused psychosis for me. It promotes wakefulness to counteract sedating medications.
  5. Anyone ever get positive voices? The other day I was hearing the voices encouraging me, like "you can do it!" So random.
  6. I just wanted to create a thread to celebrate Elliot Page's bravery in coming out as trans. As a nonbinary person, it means a lot to have someone trans in the media, especially someone who I look up to. Good for him!
  7. Mine are located somewhere between the inside and outside of my head. Not sure how else to explain it, but docs have assured me they are hallucinations.
  8. Just wondering: what are your auditory hallucinations like? For me, most of the time, I get random voices I call "chatter." Most of the time I can't make out what they are saying. When things are bad, the voices comment on what I'm doing. But I've never had command hallucinations before (I feel lucky because of this!)
  9. Clozapine has been a miracle drug for me. It helped with both mood and psychosis. The blood draws are a pain, but for me they are worth it.
  10. PASSED! I'm a candidate now! :)

  11. I turned in the final draft of my dissertation proposal! Defense is on Sept. 21 and then I'm officially ABD!

    1. Wonderful.Cheese


      Woo hoo! Way to go! I’m super proud of you!

    2. jarn


      That's so exciting!  Good luck next week!

  12. I feel lonely.

    1. Wonderful.Cheese


      Hi aura. I’m sorry to hear this. :( Loneliness is a tough feeling to have. Be gentle with yourself. Any friend or family member or anyone you could text or call or email? Or is your wife available to talk? Just some ideas. I care. ❤️ 

    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      How’s it going today aura?

  13. I usually rely on tdoc to tell me what my mood is, up or down. Do you have someone like that in your life?
  14. I just got dx'ed with "other specified trauma and stressor related disorder" mainly because my flashbacks aren't always about the trauma, but often are rather about anxiety I experienced due to the trauma. In Egypt I was super stressed and I developed a fear of leaving my apartment. This hasn't gone away. I keep having flashbacks of how afraid I was in Egypt. Now I never feel safe. I can't go far from my apartment. Even at home I stress. I'm afraid of men and won't meet one by himself. It's like Egypt set off a trauma reaction that has turned into a wildfire of memories and fears. But all this fear, I now realize, relates to previous trauma. It's like the trauma was suppressed all these years and now hit me all of a sudden. Does this even make sense? I feel doubly traumatized by my how my trauma symptoms manifested.
  15. @Wonderful.Cheese It makes me so sad to read this. You are WORTH being part of this world. You are a kind and loving person. I've gotten to know you over the years and I can tell for sure you a good person who doesn't have to suffer like this. Much support from me. if you ever need to talk, PM me.
  16. Reducing clozapine to 400mg. Yay! I'm doing well. :)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. echolocation


      great to hear!

    3. jarn


      That's great aura!

    4. Wonderful.Cheese


      Yippee! So happy to hear this! ❤️ 

  17. To have PTSD do I need to have had a major traumatic event, or could it be more like a chain of moderately traumatic events? I think I'm minimizing how traumatic my past has really been. I also posted this on my blog for more specific info.
  18. Ultra busy week = more hallucinations. Taking tomorrow off.

    1. jarn


      Oh damn.  I hope a day off helps.

    2. saintalto
  19. Visual. I have color-grapheme synaesthesia so all words and numbers have colors for me.
  20. I think I'm crashing from the hypomania. I woke up today at noon then went back for nap at 2pm. I have no energy or motivation. 

    1. Bad Haiku

      Bad Haiku

      That sucks Aura.  Please take care of yourself.  Eat, Drink, Sleep, and Wake.

  21. Coloring books? An easy book you've been planning on reading? Or just watch the TV if that's available.
  22. I rely on tdoc to tell me if I've been manic or hypomanic. But most of the times I've been manic I've also been hospitalized due to psychosis and risky behaviors.
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