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About Hopefully

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  1. I been gone for a long time. I see chat is gone. It's sad, I coulda used some chat with u derstanding souls. But I can imagine why they pulled it:/
  2. How quickly things can change. Just today I've been feeling myself trying to crash, but I've been fighting it. It's pretty much ruined my day, but at least I've been able to keep from falling too far into the pit. So far for me, there is no magic pill , doubt there ever will be. But if the good or just decent times outweigh the bad, I guess that's the best I can hope for.
  3. Climber 47, yes when I wrote this I was in my depressed state. Having received little help from medication. Since writing this I have started a max dose of lexapro and feel relief. I also went off anafranil which was making me too tired to do much living. I know that many times meds work at first, and then poop out. I'm praying for the best, however a small part of me is preparing for the worst. Im down to 3 meds to try out, it's scary as hell. Im beginning to look at ect, just gathering info, so I'm a bit prepared if I as well need to go that route as my last resort. My pdoc highly recommends it, but I too am scared. I know how you feel, what if that doesn't work? One thing we must keep in mind is that body chemistry can change some ,advancements in meds and techniques evolve.. If Ect doesn't work as hoped, in a couple years newer better meds may be on the horizon . Your not alone. Stick with therapy , it can give some relief, hang in there . We all need to keep trying. At least we know we are not alone in suffering. Faith is a huge help to me, not sure your thoughts on that, but if you ever want to talk to me about that I'm around
  4. I agree, we got to do what we an to help ourselves with the options we have available . We are lucky to know of the mindfulness and tbe cbt. Those things were not used when I first started out on my road with depression. I wonder what might have been different if I had come to know them sooner . But maybe as a kid I would have dismissed them , who knows. At this point I still feel that medication can provide me some relief, but I keep my options open concerning ect and other methods in the future. Guess that's the best we can do . Thanks to everyone that responded , it's nice to know we arnt the only ones that face this.
  5. CeromonyNewOrder, ty. Yes, I've been studying mindfulness and have been practicing meditation , it does help to see things more clearly . CBT also helps with the Obsessive worries.
  6. My depression has no set pattern, some days I'm depressed half the day, some days I'm not depressed at all, those days are more rare ever since I had serotonin syndrome 18 months ago. We are always changing and tweeting my meds. 3 weeks ago I got maxed on lexapro and felt great for 2 weeks. But I felt it declining over the weekend, today at work I felt tears spring to my eyes a few times.. Just quickly made myself dry up before anyone would notice. I always seem to have that romance period of 2 weeks with a new med, it's nice while it lasts. Just wait to see what happens now I guess.
  7. That's exactly where I want to be jto7. How do you keep it in perspective when the depression hits? When I'm not depressed or mildly depressed it all is rather logic . But when depression hits harder, my instinct is to fight. To claw and kick and fight against the weight of it, which doesn't do much good except making me feel like I once again failed to keep myself from falling. How do you keep it in perspective in the pit?
  8. As someone that has chronic treatment resistant depression , I think I've come to a place where I have to accept that my depression is a part of my life. That's a very hard thing to accept, everything in me wants to fight it, but I've been fighting so long and so hard that it's begun to feel like failure . I think I need to make a truce with it and realize I may just have to be depressed 60-70 percent of the time . I have a strong faith and I do believe everything has a purpose. My therapist wants me to still look to a day when I will be depression free, but this has gone on for 30 years. Just because I don't want tbis disease doesn't mean God will take it away. Not every disease gets cured for everybody . Have any of you come to terms or made some sort of peace with chronic depression? I can't seem to figure out how to do this. My urge is to keep fighting , keep looking for that cure, but maybe for me it isn't there. Maybe I'd be better if I could stop longing for something that may never be. To help fill in any blanks I'll tell you a quick history. I'm 39, I've been on meds since the age of 11. At 11 I was diagnosed with MDD. GAD, and OCD. That diagnosis hasn't changed. I've gone through Lord knows how many meds and combos . I've been seeing a therapist for 7 months. Therapy has helped to a point. Oh also a big part of my depression is feeling totally unmotivated , which I hate cause I start to think I'm lazy and all I want is to be productive. Depression has made me believe many things that may not be true . So, back to my question, have and can you make peace with depression? The idea sounds completely logic , till I hit a bout of depression the next day and feel a total desperation and need to escape it.. Advice and shared stories are much appreciated , thank you.
  9. Take it slow... If this is working for you, stay with this dose. 80 is the recommended max. I've had chronic lifelong depression and have a hard time finding relief as well. I started Prozac in Dec. 2014 . By the end of January 2015 I was at max dose of 80 mg. ( add to that that I was taking mucinex, which you should not take with Prozac)It sent me into serotonin. syndrome . It was hell on Earth. It was a medically induced mega mania. You can die from serotonin syndrome. I'm still recovering over a year later. Prozac had worked beautifully for me, until it was maxed to quickly, then disaster . After that I had to be yanked off it. My Dx is MDD, GAD. Apparently you can go into mania if introduced to quickly. So just take your time is my suggestion. Happy for you that you found relief. Just let the med do its thing, Prozac takes time to be in full effect. Good Luck to you.
  10. Just want to say "Hi" :D

  11. Thank you Melissa. That second link was really helpful. I never seen so many people discussing their serotonin syndrome at the same place. My case was different from theirs' , but it was helpful none the less .
  12. Hello.I was looking to speak with anyone that experienced serotonin syndrome. There seems to be very little information about what happens afterward, and the doctors seem to not have many answers either. Here is a short summary of my account. I am clinically depressed, have generalized anxiety disorder, and have obsessive worry (which may be anxiety, but I feel its almost a separate symptom) I have had this since about age 8 to the present and I'm 39. In September of 2014 I was not doing to well. at this point I was seeing a family Dr and needless to say he was taking me off and on different AD's. I started doing badly, I seeked a phychiatrist. We tried me on a few things, one of which was Prozac. I ended up in ER with my anxiety, I had never been to ER for my mental health before. Anyhow, by January , my pdoc had me up to 80 mg of Prozac. at the same time I was taking mucinex around the clock for a sinus infection. I was unaware of the interaction these drugs had with one another. I began having extreme anxiety, like nothing I had ever experienced before, I was shaking and crying uncontrollably. I felt like I was going over an edge. It was unbearable. I"ve put up with a lot of agony, but this went beyond it all. I ended up in the hospital and I was a disaster, I must have truly looked insane. They admitted me to the physch ward. I was curled in a ball and just shaking and jerking horribly. My mind felt blown. Within a few days I started to here the term Serotonin Syndrome. However they didn't commit to that, they tried to label me with BPD, though my history easily showed I was not any kind of typical BD. It took my team of Dr.s months to fully admit I had suffered from Serotonin Syndrome. They said, I would likely return to a more normal baseline, since they took me off the SSRI. Well I didn't. I suffered crippling anxiety for many for about 9 months. It was truelly frightening and terrible. Its a year later, and I'm starting to reclaim life much better, but I still get the shakes from anxiety sometimes and of course I still battle my depression. That with therapy , Thank You God, I'm begin to live a bit more. I ask my pdoc about my experience and she says, my brain had to heal, but that is all she will say. I don't believe she really knows what to say. After experiencing serotonin syndrome what has been your, or a family or a friend's experience been? Does anyone have any answers as to what actually occurs in your brain during Serotonin syndrome? Or what is actually damaged and how long recovery can be? And is total recovery possible? I feel it may be, but it takes way more time than doctors admit. Thank you, Hopefully
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