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About hugbug

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  • Location
    east coast USA
  • Interests
    hugs, writing, reading, avoiding responsibility, talking during movies

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  1. not been here in a bit, but feeling the need to check in 'cause ive been actually working on my mental health

    1. jt07


      I'm glad for you. Hope it's going well.

  2. mum keeps blaming herself for my MI. like maybe its her fault for having me? i don't know what point she's trying to make but it doesn't help my suicidal thoughts any. 

  3. I'm not sure how long I've been on lamictal -- probably two months? 200mg dose. I started on the pill two weeks ago (took the first pill of my 3rd week today). Tri previfem is the name on the packet. My question is - has anybody had experience with these two together (or even just a similar birth control pill; i don't know the differences). I haven't been on the pill in a long time, but when I was on it before, I only had nausea when I missed a pill and had to take two at once. But I'm only on week three and have been diligent about taking it. Yet these past three to four days I've had bouts of nausea. No vomiting. But I've also been having increasing depressed feelings. Like completely out of nowhere. I usually can pinpoint a reason for the feelings. But lately I just feel hopeless and useless and contemplating suicide. i do recall that when my doctor prescribed the pill (at my request), she saw on her computer that it can affect Lamictal's effectiveness. BUT she read through the literature and it said mainly it affects Lamictal's anti-seizure properties. But I have a follow up in February to discuss in case there is an issue with the combination. The main point; I am getting nauseated and also more depressed, around the same time period, and I am wondering if this is medication related? I don't know if it helps to ask here, lol, but I was just realizing now that both effects have taken place the last couple days. And I don't know if there is anything I can do for it. I'm such a baby when it comes to nausea... I really can't handle it; it's one of the worst feelings I can think of. I admit it might be related to something else I am doing that I haven't thought of, but my first thought did go to the birth control pills because it's been just over two weeks, and that seems about the time for any effects to really start setting in.
  4. I'm so glad you found a way to put that to good use! Reminds me I have some clothes to bring to Goodwill. Might as well see if they can take some of this new stuff too
  5. Yeah what I got this year was a bunch of nail stuff/makeup that I won't really use. Especially since I just bought myself some makeup earlier this year which is about all I will use (I'm really picky). & It was from my mom, even though I told her a few things that I actually needed this year that wouldn't have cost much. I think really anything that shows that the person who is giving it doesn't actually pay attention to what you want. Like it would be nice to get one single gift that shows thought rather than a bunch of things that don't.
  6. i've read 103 books this year according to goodreads. and 55 still in my to-read list. well at least i've been productive in 1 area of my life. 

  7. feeling lost. all my usual internet haunts are leaving me frustrated, and no friends are texting back, and i think that guy is bored of me :( when will i have my chance. 

  8. gonna be struggling with major anxiety until thursday is over... 

  9. I second the idea of looking for a new psychiatrist because that one does not sound like they are looking for your needs. Just reading that made me frustrated on your behalf. I had a dr who was similar with the meds ("well, it's been XX months and no change." - "oh, well just give it more time", and on and on). You definitely need somebody who can pay attention to that sort of thing. Good luck.
  10. I'm glad your family gets along! That must ease the sting of having to be there a little bit. And for me, there are definitely times when I like being around my siblings (parents... not so much.though I guess around holidays it can be nice). I almost feel like it's more frustrating, having been out of the house for a while and now having to go back. I really, really can't wait until I can get a job (or two jobs) enough that will help me to get a place to live so I can finally have my privacy. ><
  11. The incompetent thing happens a lot with me, too, especially with regards to jobs. Like asking me if I've looked here or there, and basically repeating all stuff that I already know to do and have done, but acting like I'm a 14 year old who doesn't know anything. I feel like I kind of deserve it since I clearly messed up somewhere to be living back here, but at the same time, why not show a little respect.
  12. So due to circumstances beyond my control, after living away from home for like 8 years, I moved back in with my parents last year. (Siblings live here too. Three of them from age 13-19. I'm 28 in a week). I really, really didn't want to have to do this, but I don't make enough money to afford an apartment in this area, and now I'm out of a job for who knows how long. I'm frustrated with little things, like the fact that nobody cleans up after themselves. Dirty dishes are left around while the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that nobody bothers to put away. And with six people, that's a lot of dishes. I've taken to doing the dishes, but whenever I ask for help, I get an "okay" and then no actual help. I imagine this stuff happens with roommates, too, so that's really not as much of a family issue I guess. But what makes me angry/frustrated is that I am paying rent here (which was a condition of me moving back in, I understand and I'm not complaining), but I still get treated like a child. My step-dad doesn't respect anything that I do (including the dishes... I'll mention that dishes will get cleaner if you rinse the crud out of them first... he just leaves them on the stove instead). He is always talking to me like I'm not allowed to do anything that I want to do, even if it's not disturbing anybody else. A couple weeks ago, I stayed up until like 2am watching a show on my laptop (with headphones in, so nobody else could hear), in the dark (no lights to bother anybody...) in the dining room, and he came down and was like, angry that I was still awake??? I don't understand this at all. My mom is really passive and she's not home much because of work, so I can't go to her. And anyway, she's really unsupportive in general. I've tried to talk with her when I'm feeling depressed or anxious and she literally will just sit there and not say anything, or she'll walk away. I mean she doesn't intentionally do it like in a rude way, but I definitely feel ignored. I know the solution to this is to move out, but without a job I really can't do that. And this area is really expensive to live in, especially in comparison to the average hourly pay. I would try to keep to myself, but the other issue is that I don't have a bedroom. I have a bed and a space, but no door or private area, so I can't "get away" from everybody else, unless I want to lock myself in the bathroom maybe. It's really making me feel like I have no control over anything anymore. My parents aren't abusive or anything but they're really difficult to deal with (and I haven't even gotten into my siblings, but that's another story) and I don't know if I have any options. Does anybody else have a similar situation or any suggestions? I guess I need to find a way to get out of the house more... which would be nice if I could get a job soon. TL;DR: I moved back in with my parents and I have no autonomy or privacy and I'm stuck here.
  13. I was not aware there were meds like this! I'm not sure it's something my doctor would let me try because we've never talked about me having an eating problem, even though I know for sure I have one (and has been bad lately). It's helped to take your mind off food/eating constantly? I like what both of you said re: food addiction because it is true. Part of why i was afraid to try things like OA and FA is because I don't know what "abstinence" would be and the idea of getting rid of certain foods makes me anxious (probably the sign I have a problem). This is good to know, though.
  14. really want to talk to my friends but nobody is available or are reading my messages and not replying. maybe bc ive been in crisis mode all year but im so stressed & the only ppl talking to me are the ones that are making me stressed in the first place. 

    1. fantod


      i am sorry, hugbug.  i've been there/still live there, to a degree.  it makes me feel trapped.  the loneliness is so hard. but the alternative, reaching out to people who are not good for you, is even worse.  thinking of you.

  15. Yeah, I know calorie counting can do that for a lot of people. Unfortunately I'm the opposite. If I don't pay attention to that, I go way overboard and it goes back into my usual pattern of eating until I feel sick. I can understand it being different for some people though. & I know it's about eating better, but I have trouble with that too, so for me I know I can eat small amounts of favorite foods if they fit in my range. I'm in a couple healthy weight loss groups on other sites and it helps me.
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