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About pulver

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    sugar land texas

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  1. Try not to take offense. It makes me feel awful to think I made it worse. I am ordinary I guess. No particularly talent or success. I am lucky though in not having any of the tragic experiences that are out there, handicapped children, poverty etc. I think it’s mostly DNA and luck, bad and good that forms us. I did everything, meds, therapy, meditation,,you name it,I’ve done. I am still social phobia. As I get older I don’t care as much. Life still has pleasure. I don’t want to die. Best of luck to all of you. Keep trying. We’re all different. And that’s good.
  2. How does it help to know if anyone shares this. I am not being smartass. I have panic attack at times. Tell me how you get through it. Meds help.
  3. Ever time I read something on this site, I go down into despair that bangs my mind like a tin bucket. Isn't there some medicine, some doctor, some theory that will help? No, apparently not. I am old and this has been with me since I can remember but add this , I had times of hapiness and success. If there is a secret it is this, it is not all one or the other. Don't kill yourself. The sun always breaks through.. Not enough,surely, but somewhere out there are good friends, good food, movies and books,wonderful sleep. Better to be than not to be.
  4. Almost everything I read has some positive effect for someone. But a therapist asking me for my values puts him immediately in the category of Mel Brooks in History of the World where he goes to the unemployment office in ancient Rome and when asked his occupation said , I am a standup philosopher.The clerk said , Oh a bullshiter. I think sometimes of psychiatrist who studies for what 12 years or so and can do so little for his patients. They now write prescriptions in 15 minutes appointments. They have to for insurance purposes. Their brethren without an medical degree are the ones who will ask you what your values are. I may be wrong as I so often am but this based on experience. Lathern
  5. When I have stood before audiences because I had to or lose my job , I found after almost fainting then suddenly the anxiety left me.I was not afraid. The feeling was like being released from chains and I slowed down and spoke slowly. I am a new person I thought, maybe I should have been an actor. I felt I knew the secret of public speaking. Everyone thinks if was: If I was not so frightened I could do so great. But I thought no, the secret is to have something to say that people want to hear after you get over the panic. But the thing is, and this is important, days afterward the panic came back as strong as ever. I found it was there when I tried to talk to strangers, no eye contact. Maybe exposure every day would drive it out. Is anyone doing exposure and could talk about it. Otherwise I am still scared but it down't seem so horrible as age will kill me shortly. I just regret all the time I lost and all the success I missed by being so quiet.
  6. Thanks for visiting my profile and for the positive comment. I think having an accommodating instructor would have been life-changing for all of us, which is why I tried hard to be that for my students.

  7. I identified so much with your post that I wanted to read more. What a gift, what a life changer it would have been for me if I had an instructor like you in college.

  8. My mixed reaction to drugs, says yes and no to the above. They definitely dull and slow down my reaction but I feel in a fog with stuffy head and apathy and that is when they are working. When they don't work I have permanent headache, increased anxiety and depression but so bad I spend an unnatural amount of of time sleeping. Still ...still, sometimes things get so bad anything that brings a little relief is worth it. Drugs will do that. I met someone who was into meditation and buddhism and told me that he had suffered all his life from anxiety and now it was gone and he was happy every day all through meditation. It didn't work that way with me. You definitely get calmer after 20 minutes of counting your breath but it wasn't permanent. I am told that it builds and the more you do it the longer it last. I don't know. It seems to work for some people but not for me.
  9. This is very good, airmarshal. She needed an editor for sure but could also have used a psychiatrist. My favorite example of realism coming up against theory. Is when the young psychiatrist she had been having sexual relations with wanted to break it off because she was so old and wrinkled she no longer appealed to him and she said something like " If you really understood my theory it wouldn't make any difference how old I was." I think her biography is more interesting than her books. You are right about teadious and pedantic. Surprising the number of people who name her books as the most influential they have read. I once worked with a man who was a member of the objectivism group and read all their stuff. He could not deal with someone treating him the in the self interested way he tried to treat people. He could dish it out but he couldn't take it. Really liked your post. Pulver quote name='AirMarshall' date='Jan 29 2008, 10:56 AM' post='274628'] I read Atlas Shrugged about 15 years ago, during the Bush I vs. Clinton election. The 25th anniversary of its publishing. Amazingly many of the same issues were key to that election. Nonetheless. Ayn Rand could have used an editor with the nerve to actually edit. She can get pretty tedious and pedantic. Her basic theory of Objectivism hinges on the idea that people acting in their own self interest, unhindered in any way by government, religion, psychology will automatically do what's best for society. She fails to take into account that not everyone shares her (early 20th century Russian) moral and ethical values of fair play and honesty, and makes no allowance for those unable to take care of themselves. Oh, and she has a thing about Empire cut dresses. Her personal life was rather eccentric. She and her parents were refugees from the Bolshevik Revolution, which is probably all the explanation needed to understand the source of her thought. a.m.
  10. I attended 4 or 5 classes led by a person who had been diagnosed with SP and had purchased the tapes. There were 4 of us. I got nothing out of the tapes I heard. I found them almost embarrassing to listen to with talk about he movie Wizard of Oz and how the characters illustrated points in the tape. Others in the class said they got a lot out of it. Listen to the tapes with other people.The exposure to others always helps me. You have to experience the tapes and make your own decision. What works for others might not work for you and the other way around. This is also true of the meds. D0 anything that will bring you into contact with others. lathern
  11. I don't hear voices outside my head. Those internal thoughts, I believe as others have said here, are normal. Incidentally there are people who hear voices and do not have the disorganized mind that goes with mental illness. They do not consider themselves mentally ill. I understand in the UK there is a support group called "hearing vocies". These are not psychotics. They've learned to live with it. Let me give you a cautionary warning. My son is schizoeffective. He reached a point when he was in his recovery stage where he did not hear voices. He was taking 60mg of ziprasidone. Then he started hearing one voice that only came when he was in his apartment and that prevented him from sleeping. He started drinking alcohol until he was senseless. This helped with the voices but he stopped keeping his dr appointments and stopped his meds. He went way down and now spends his time in jail for various charges having to do with intoxication or in the homeless shelter. Please, don't go that route. Pulver quote name='lachesis' date='Jan 14 2008, 11:28 AM' post='272827'] Voices from the outside- the walls are talking to me OR I hear in the distance my name being called OR there is a radio in the other room playing music, radio personality speaking to me with cryptic messages "you be the judge and the jury" Voices from inside the head - another person's voice talking to me OR a voice inside saying you suck, get lost, or die which should not be an every day sort of thing and are not usual thoughts Internal thoughts - will somone notice that I did not wash my hair today, I wonder what home work I'll half to do tonight, can person a meet me at.... Intrusive thoughts - did I.....check....what if.....so-in-so thinks....he/she thinks I... how do I....what if......ahhhhhhh
  12. I agree with you, Lena that regurgitating all those bad memories hurts rather than helps. I have seen research to support this. I was never hurt by therapy but in all honesty nothing except temporary uplift came out of it. I got it free too. If I had to pay for it I would have been even more disappointed. But just think for a second. What could a talk therapies possibly so or do that would help you other than support. I find exercise always helps no matter how mundane...digging ditch will do. Get physically tired. Meds help to. Yours for a good life. Since posting the above I have had some insights that lead me to think it is too negative, or even not true. It was true for me but others with different illness or different personality could benefit enormously from having someone they trust to talk to. Here's why.On this forum some have expressed how a therapist helped them by showing them they were not alone or listening when no one else would. I also remember going with a psychotic person to a psychiatrist . In the waiting room this person told me they thought they were a space alien. In every outward impression this person looked and acted normal. I went in with him to see the doctor who immediately wrote a perscription for an increased dosage of an antiopsychotic the person was already taking. The doctor did not seem even a little surprised by the patients thoughts. She listened while writing. The patient said that he was having these strange thoughts even though taking the medicine. The doctor said it takes time. We can't make the thoughts go away immediatly. She said you have to remember these thoughs are not real. The patient said he could not separate the real from the not real. The doctor said maybe the patient could use me as a testing feedback person on real and unreal. This never worked out because the patient stopped telling me their thoughts. But I think having someone you trust that you could talk to and tell all you were thinking who could then help you rearange those thoughts and get your mind into some kind of order would be an enormous help. This patient I am talking about here told me that he never told the truth to therapist because he thought they were part of world out to get him. A good therapist could maybe break though that.
  13. THANKS TO EVERYONE. I have confused many of you including lost. Forgive me. There are two different processes. One is guardianship which I have been advised to persue. That is since my son cannot shelter, feed or manage his money, have the courp appoint a guardian. Many unknowns here but this is where the lawyer told me that an doctor who has seen him within 120 days must make statemen that he cannot take care of himself. This can be reviewed on the internet as comes under the probate laws in Texas which is on line. Also means the court would appoint someone as guardian. There is fee for this. Unknown how much until you get into the court. The other possibility is involuntary commitment. And yes, Lost, texas is behind on many things but there are many psychiatric hospitals. It is relatively easy to to the Justice of the Peace and get a mental health warrent. I've done it in the past. The catch 22,23 and 100 is the mental hospital only keeps them 3 days, under almost all circumstances. There is no long term hospitalization for mentally ill, Very, very rare occasions. My son was given a jail sentence of 65 days. I took his medicine down to the jail. He is safe, being taken care of and sober. This gives me a breather. Incidentally this attorney I talked to advised me to get some therapy on how to do deal with my son. Saddest story he had ever heard, he said. He meant me. That is, I am faced with a situation where I would do anything to help this son but he will do nothing to help himself.I could find housing for him if he could quit drinking and take his medicine. Wishful thinking on my part. If I just cut him loose he goes to the street. If I don't bar him from my home, then my life is descends to a hellish level. I am 76 and just can't deal with him drunk and out of control. Yet I love him to the point that when he hurts,I hurt.
  14. Thanks to all for replying. No I can't involuntarily commit him. This is Texas. I need a physician who has seen him within 120 days of signing statment that he cannot take care of himself. Have talked to his psychiatrist who made time for him if I could bring him. On day of appointment he refused to go. I called police who refused to take him in. Also they refused to take him from my house. My address was on his drivers license as he has been homeless for 7 years. This only address he has. They said legally this was his residence. I went to court and had him evited on paper from this address. So that problem taken care of but this county has little resources for mentally ill. If this were a few miles up the road in Houston I might get some help. I talked to an attorney who knows something about mentally illness and he said there was nothing I could do and nothing he could do. I talked to nami and there is nothing anyone can come up with other than trying to get him out of jail and bring him back to my house and start the cycle over. I think he is safe in jail and being fed. That is better than him being on the outside drunk and out of control. I am just taking it day by day. have no idea what I would do if he showed up at my door. Bring him in guess. Incidentally notice myt name now is Pulver not Lathern. I had to start all over again because I could not get loged back on and finally just gave up and started all over. Many ,many thanks for your comments.
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