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Hopelessly Broken

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About Hopelessly Broken

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    Human-like zombie

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    trans male

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  1. This can happen for reasons other than trauma. Its called proprioception, or body awareness and the awareness of one's body and specific body parts in space. A lot of people who are autistic, and or who have ADHD struggle with proprioception, for the same reason we struggle with interoception, because they are almost the same thing, except interoception is for things like temperature, heart rate, breathing and appetite. Not saying that it isn't possible that yours is because of trauma, but I think that it is likely that your ADHD plays some role in it, possibly larger than the one trauma does. I have it for both reasons, too, but again, mine is more because it is part of being autistic for me than it is my trauma. For me, my proprioception is so poor that most of the time I can't tell where a body movement comes from, or even where a body part is, unless I can actually see it. For me its also a coping mechanism, as in I use the deficit to my advantage for other reasons, so getting rid of it or improving it is out of the question for now.
  2. Yep. But that's what I've always had to put up with. I'm used to it. Dissociative symptoms are part of hypoarousal, by the way. So is sleeping too much and most of what I have to deal with. Its just another term for the freeze response. Anyways, it is what it is. I'm yet to find anything that isn't a bandaid, and a very shitty one at that. I know people don't like it when I talk about it though, so I'll shut up.
  3. As have I (had many therapists) and unfortunately for me it was made rather obvious that none of them could help with my own trauma, simply due to the fact none of them had anywhere near enough experience with hypoarousal, if they even acknowledged it at all, and that none of them had experience treating a person with as long a history as mine to the point I missed out on developing things that a lot of trauma work is dependent on/my lack of experience with certain things/my brain's incapacity to do certain things that a lot of trauma therapies rely on. None of them were able to manage that or my gross incapacity to get myself out of hypoarousal. Simply put, one cannot do trauma work until they are able to bring themselves into their window of tolerance that permits them to exist in a regulated state of nervous system arousal, and are able to sustain their window of tolerance and build upon it. I cannot and none of them have been able to understand that, never mind help me with it. So for me, it is fairly easy to know if they are expertised enough or not. A lot of the time I don't even have to ask them any specific questions, it is how they treat me because of my symptoms and history/react to my symptoms and long history that does the job of pointing it out for me.
  4. Depends on the therapist and their expertise. Unfortunately trauma work is some of the most difficult of all therapies, and all kinds of it come with the risk of making things worse, in the hands of an inadequate therapist. Fortunately, however, in the right hands, it can literally save a life. So there's no simple answer. Additional to therapist's level of expertise is the kind of expertise they have. If they aren't expertised in your specific trauma symptoms, the risk of it going wrong is larger.
  5. Yes, definitely fair to say. Just neurocognitive deficit is a rather vague term if you ask me. It is more important to know what yours specifically refers to and what can be done to help you function in life in despite of it, if anything can be done.
  6. Neurocognitive deficits can come from a lot of things. Not just medication. Most commonly, they are associated with neurodevelopmental conditions, i.e, autism, ADHD and learning disabilities. They can also happen with intellectual disability, Alzheimer's and other types of dementia, acquired and traumatic brain injuries and stroke. Executive dysfunction is a broader term for a variety of neurocognitive deficits. Any type of cognitive deficit that resides from neurological function is a neurocognitive deficit. I am fairly sure there are other conditions that come with it that I haven't mentioned. But to answer the question, yes, I have and like Butterflykisses, I have had mine since childhood and a lot of them make daily functioning absolute hell.
  7. Yeah. Doesn't really matter treatment wise, because all trauma symptoms can be treated with the same therapy, so long as the therapist is trauma informed and has the expertise to do so.
  8. Ah. I think I would find that quite strange and difficult to understand, but I suppose it depends on what kind of trauma it was. I just imagine it would be difficult knowing it is a flashback and therefore from the past if it had no visual component.
  9. This may seem like a bizarre question, and you don't have to answer it, but does your aphantasia impact the kind of flashbacks you have/had if you don't experience them anymore? Like, no visual flashbacks of the events? And does yours also impact your ability to recall sound, smell and touch like it does for some people with it? I agree, family trauma stuff is different to the kind of trauma where exposures can be used, and its usually more pervasive, so I think its fairly standard to go to and from approaching it, otherwise a lot of people would be approaching it forever and be unable to approach any other issues needing therapy.
  10. Yeah, aphantasia is going to be a challenge with trauma stuff. A lot of therapists rely on imagery for various aspects of treatment. I know its been a barrier for me, and I don't technically have aphantasia, just limited visual skills in that area. Good luck with finding things that do help though.
  11. Those techniques are called resourcing techniques. They are a part of the preparation phase of EMDR, but a lot of therapists who use other trauma therapies also use them to prepare their clients for the processing phase of treatment. Resourcing is where the therapist helps you to resource your own personal and internal strategies to help yourself when dealing with the trauma, so your reliance on others is reduced and you have more resilience towards whatever you went through and the effects of it. The container imagery and bilateral tapping are the most common ones, but there are others. Somatic therapies use resourcing a lot also, with body scans and breathing activities. Personally I find imagery too difficult because I can usually only picture things in my brain if I have experience with them or have seen them somewhere before, and safety isn't one of them for me, and at this point body activities are off the cards for me, I have strong boundaries towards them.
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