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somecallmesixx

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  • Content Count

    14
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About somecallmesixx

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    Member

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  • Website URL
    http://makeit-siick.tumblr.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Unicorn
  • Location
    Texas
  • Interests
    Netflix, Guys, Girls, Boobs, LGBTQ, modified culture, cats, rodents, my boyfriend, foooood.

Recent Profile Visitors

808 profile views
  1. I’m caught up between my boyfriend and my ex. I spent the night with my ex the other night due to some family issues and I just needed out of the house. My ex is caught up into some bad stuff. Drugs, selling, drinking, smoking weed. There’s never really a time he’s TRULY sober. When I spent the night my boyfriend didn’t want us sharing the bed, but we did. His excuse was I don’t want another man in bed with my girlfriend yet his friend laid on the bed when he left so we could watch OITNB together. My ex cuddled me that night, and started to get me in the mood by rubbing my legs….it felt so amazing but I didn’t give in. I even had him meet my boyfriend before that night so he’d know who I was staying the night with. I fantasized about my ex, I still do, I just wanted his hands and lips all over my body…..but he screwed me over in the past when he left me for his ex. Last night, I got into it with my boyfriend. I put everything on the table. He knows I still like my ex and redeveloped feelings for him. I didn’t plan to, no one plans these things. My boyfriend is very shy and reserved. And totally not confrontational, so that’s something that doesn’t make me feel safe….what if something were to happen and I needed him to defend me? He’s so sweet and god to me. He reminds me how beautiful I am. He helps me with my family issues and my anxiety and depression. Etc. Last night when I was upset and crying I was at a friends house, and he was going to walk there when I was upset in the wee hours of the morning so I’d feel better. I wanted him or my ex. No one else… I see my boyfriend and I having a life together, kids, etc. He works, he doesn’t do drugs anymore, and he’s an overall good guy. I got mad at him for not ever getting mad at me for one, last night. Because of what happened with my ex and I. He said it’s because he trusts me, which is great but he can still get mad….I didn’t do anything with my ex. Believe me, I wanted to. But I held off….right now my ex and I are kind of mad at each other, again. We do this every time. We fight, forgive each other and are fine again. And it’s over and over….My BPD makes me attach to people easily, so when one person isn’t giving me attention and someone else is, there I go getting attached. My boyfriend’s roommate won’t let me see him at their place anymore, he’s working when I’m not. Or I’m in school when he’s not working. One of us is in the mood when the other isn’t. He’s the first and only guy I’ve slept with and my first real adult relationship. I’m his first girlfriend since he is so quiet and reserved too./….I don’t wanna give my boyfriend up because I’m pretty sure guys like him are dime a dozen and I don’t think I could find that again. I’m totally comfortable around him too. I’m semi comfortable with my ex since we didn’t last as long….this is also the longest relationship I’ve had. Coming up to a year… What should I do…? I feel like I’m hurting him…
  2. Does anyone have really bad stomach problems on Lexapro or its generic? I'm on the generic as its all my Medicaid will cover. My dad said it would give me really bad stomach issues...I had some before but now they're a little worse.
  3. I have been, and most have been thinking about my relationship and if my boyfriend and I should break up or not and just things like that. I also just started my new medication dose, not that long ago, and recently I've had them again. Especially if I go somewhere I've had them before. I just started seeing a new psychologist, whose partner is a psychatrist, and that's good because one sees me, diagnoses me, and the other medicates me. So for me, i think I just need new medication. I had to get something originally that A. my insurance covered and B. could be taken in yogurt or applesauce because i had pill taking anxiety. now i don't. So now my med options are open. Which is good. Sometimes when I feel one coming on I'm just like noooooope.
  4. My anxiety has been bothering my relationship lately. My last counselor diagnosed me with BPD, OCD, anxiety and depression. I'm seeing a new psychologist and he is throwing any previous diagnosis out the window. My boyfriend and I have been together almost seven months and in the beginning it made sense kind of, worrying about if we should break up. From time to time I get anxiety attacks thinking about it. We've discussed it, and he knows. He knows I've thought of leaving, but I haven't and he has too. I do see us having a life together, children, getting married, I mean we are both young so call me crazy but...I don't think I'd mind. He doesn't bore me, he fufills my sexual needs, I find him attractive and I am able to be myself around him. He's also my first REAL boyfriend, ever. I'm 18 he's 20. Recently, I've not seen him as much due to school, work, and him working too. Now he's working and I'm no longer in school and I quit my job and am looking for a new one. For awhile I was also so sexually frustrated I literally could not trust myself around anyone I found attractive. i enjoy seeing him, he makes me soooo happy. So why do i feel this way? I've already told my new psychologist that my anxiety is messing with my relationship, so that could be something we discuss ASAP, maybe i should wait to see what our new medication plan is? I wasnt able to take pills for awhile so i got something A. my insurance covered and B. could be taken in yogurt or applesauce, now i can take pills again. right now i'm on the generic of lexapro, escitolopram 20mg. and this new dose has caused more anxiety problems...i guess im not sure. in general too. but mostly with him. am i scared?
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