Tycoondashie

nervous as all hell and not entirely sure why

roof

@melissaw72 thanks, ill make sure to write the list, currently 10:12am, expected around 12ish.

recently i found myself spending a long time in hospital after a failed attempt to overdose. despite many attempts to end it all, this is the first one where i was caught and sent to hospital. after the what i assume are standard blood tests, pressure tests etc i was sent home with a crisis team giving me daily visits. had the first yesterday and todays has yet to happen, they are trying to light a fire under my "support" CPN team currently. but im not sure what happens next? ive never caught before as ive said. i wasnt made inpatient cause the consultant decided it do best outside with my history. im just really confused now.

utterly depressed and sick of living in this house

really like this one

bad

im grateful for having friends that call me out on my bs.

Goals: Actually sleep, got meds for it now, havent slept in weeks.

Pretty Little Head by Eliza Rickman

got a overwhelming sense of dread today... Therapist suggested i get some sort of housing to get a stable place to be but i know it wont go well with the family. i see my Therapist about this today again.

Gang

@melissaw72 i cant see my gender doc for a very long time from now and its only just hit me recently. im not sure if i can find a seperate p/tdoc but i dont think i can. thanks and when i get worse ill go to the ER. @Geek not a option, only a few in my whole country and they are very far between.

so ill eventually be transferred from my current mental health team to another under my gender doctors demands, since im transitioning my gender doc thinks gender is the be all end all of my issues but this new team has no tdocs and no pdocs just counselors to help with my past trauma. this angers me greatly, i require a tdoc to help me get through my current issues and to help me cope and deal with current MI. hes essentially offered a choice of transition or not but both will probably end up with me committing suicide. hes denying my MI even though several professionals disagree with him and im not willing to give up on my recovery/coping road forever just to look different when i kill myself im so confused on what to do.