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  1. how shall i know what my brain chemistry is like? IF we simply assume that depression,ocd,anxiety are all related to low serotonin then I must have low serotonin without a doubt. But none of the ssris, snris, remeron, brintellix, wellbutrin, tianeptin really made a noticable difference. I took 20mg lexapro for at least 4 months and either the effect was so small that I couldnt tell or it had no effect at all. I mean let's say lexapro made my depression score go down from 80 to 70 but I dont really feel different or dont feel like my depression is gone then I also cant tell if it does anything at all and then I get off it after a while. I mean I could just go back on Lexapro and just take it as an add-on simply to make sure I got serotonin covered. i could do that and it would probably also make sense in theory to simply try to cover all important neurotransmitters. but what sucks is the SSRI side effects. for example when I know that as soon as I go back on lexapro I cant even masturbate successfully anymore then this is also a problem cause especially when depressed and bored the temptation to masturbate to some porn is high (i'm not advocating porn it's dangerous!) and even if you're able to get an orgasm after an awful long time then the sensation also isn't there it's not rewarding at all. this is the biggest problem with the SSRIs. it's not only that you need much longer but that you hardly feel anything and get no reward feeling. this is similar to somebody who eats chocolate when he's depressed and then he's only allowed to put the chocolate in his mouth and not swallow it. this also isn't satisfying.
  2. I have these symptoms but only in my forearms. My forearms exhaust very fast. A while ago I was kneading dough and after that my arms were so exhausted I couldnt even hold a pen and take a note. Then a few weeks later I got other symptoms like a feeling of weakness,discomfort,tingling in the forearms. On some days these symptoms are gone and on other days they are back and strong. And then I also have some kind of muscle stiffness which only seems to affect both arms. This shows when I flex my arms and then slowly stretch them out. The movement isn't fluent like it should be instead it stutters slightly and while I stretch out the arm my hands/thumbs are also shaking slightly! This stuff really concerns me cause people with parkinson's disease also have stuttering movements. But the neurologist who I went to said that it's not parkinson but that I do have a muscle stiffness. He thought maybe this is caused by lamotrigine. But I googled for lamotrigine and muscle stiffness/rigor and it seems to be a very rare side effect. Has anyone of you experienced similar symptoms? If a drug (lamotrigine) caused these symptoms then why should the symptoms only occur in the arms?
  3. If vyvanse was good why dont you take it anymore? too expensive? then you could try dexedrine either instant or extended. dexedrine and vyvanse both contain dexamphetamine. You can also try ritalin+wellbutrin. I think ritalin and wellbutrin both work through reuptake inhibition. Wellbutrin acts mainly on NE (norepinephrine) while Ritalin acts on DA and NE. Ritalin's reuptake inhibition also has to be much stronger than that of wellbutrin cause ritalin works instantly and doesn't have to be taken for weeks before you get an effect. Can you even tell if wellbutrin helps or not? Cause if it doesn't do much then why stay on it? Maybe you'd tolerate stuff like adderall better without wellbutrin cause adderall and wellbutrin both work on NE. If you're sensitive to too much NE then you get side effects when you take a drug or various drugs which work on NE.
  4. Yes this is a good point but I'm not aware of any stimulant metabolites which have a really long halflife. I'd assume that if you do not take ritalin or amphetamine for 1 day that the stuff is completely out of the system. My question was basically if side effects which occur right at the beginning may disappear after weeks or if this is unlikely. If they might disappear then this would mean that you'd have to fight yourself through high doses even if you get noticable side effects at first cause maybe they'll go away after a while and then only the positive effects remain. But who would do this? If I take a dose and directly get a racing heart then I'd not want to stay on this dose for a month hoping that it gets better over time.
  5. Hello, I am worried about this. I have been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks now. It's in both forearms! A while back I first noticed that my arms exhaust extremely fast. Even after slight exercise my forearms feel so exhausted that I cannot even hold a pen and write something!!! This is the first thing I noticed in April but I thought maybe I am simply out of shape. And then a few weeks ago I started to get other symptoms: Both forearms would simply feel weak and weird. I'd "feel" my forearms all the time. Sometimes it feels similar to when your arm slept in and is just waking up again. Another major symptom which I discovered is that my arm movement is not fluent. When I realized this I freaked out and thought this could be Parkinson's cause their movements are also not fluid. I went to a neurologist and he measured the nerves and also did a physical exam and moved my arms up and down and felt how smooth they moved and he said that I have a rigor (muscle stiffness) but that it's not Parkinson's. He thought that since I take lamotrigine it could be caused by it. But I googled for lamotrigine and muscle stiffness and it seems to be a very rare side effect. I don't know if lamotrigine is the cause. But if lamotrigine isn't the explanation then I'm clueless. I only know that it's really disabling and also frightening. I couldn't even eat soup with a spoon now without spilling soup every time I move the arm. Now I also worry that it could be coming from the neck which means I needed to get a MRI of the neck. This is a medical problem where there are so many possible causes which is discouraging. I also thought could this be caused by stress or anxiety? Some symptoms like the weakness probably get worse under stress. But I dont think that stress can explain the muscle stiffness in the arms and that I cannot move my forarms fluently anymore. It really sucks. I have enough worries already and now I also have to worry about this stuff here.
  6. i find it pretty hard to tell if a stimulant really makes much of a difference. i dont sit in lectures anymore where i could test if it makes a difference. i am pretty much at home all day and i have the same issues with procrastination,not doing what i want to do or should be doing. it's the same old stuff as years ago. i just bought an audio book at audible called something like "i'm never where i want to be" which is about adhd. i am curious about it. the title basically describes me. i feel like a complete failure at pretty much anything. there is nothing where i have gotten into where i was really successful or where i stuck to it. i think to myself what the hell is wrong with me that i cant be better than that even though i'd like to. but knowing what to do and doing it is a lot different. anyway, if stimulants do not make a difference in these core symptoms then what? i can take amphetamines and basically waste the entire day without any problem. i was expecting that if i take them i'll feel motivated,energetic,that my thinking is precise, that i can decide what i want to do and then also do it and so on. but i dont get these effects. even with stimulants i am functioning on this despicable low level. i really dislike myself for being the way i am. i am sure that many people if they were in my shoes would have made much more out of their lives than i did. depression also hinders me from working towards any goal where i have to put something into it every day. then i think what if in the end it doesn't pay off or what if you don't finish it til the end or what if something else happens and all the work was for nothing? and this kind of thinking drags me down and then i cannot pursue things which require constant effort. this is a major flaw and i have been having this since i can think. i think that a person which has such a pessimistic outlook cant really achieve much cause she's too crippled by that.
  7. I'm not really sure what to think about this. One doctor once told me that stimulants work instantly and you can directly tell if they work or not or if a dose is too low. This kinda makes sense cause they're not like antidepressants which you have to take for many weeks before you can even tell if they work. But on the other hand I often read stuff from people which say that a stimulants first causes certain side effects and then after a few weeks they went away. In my opinion this is a pretty important question. I have never really stayed on a dose which at first caused side effects and then see if it gets better after a while. For example when I was taking ritalin LA I was trying out 20mg and it didn't do much. Then I tried out 40mg and got side effects and felt unpleasant so I decided that 40mg is too much and then I thought that ritalin simply doesn't work for me. But now I think what if I should have tried out 40mg for a few weeks and then see if it works or not? But on the other hand you cannot try every dose and then stay on it and hope that the side effects go away after a while. For example I could employ the same kind of logic and then try out 80mg ritalin LA and then think that the side effects might vanish after a few weeks but until then I feel miserable. This also doesn't make sense to me. :/
  8. Have you been to a cardiologist and asked him if stimulants are safe for you? Definitely do this! I think the max dose of methylphenidate for an adult is officially 80mg. How 30mg adderall compare to 80mg MPH is something one needed to try out. What do you take wellbutrin for? Do you take anything else besides wellbutrin?
  9. How much do you take? Do you take it for adhd? And are you still taking all the drugs in your sig?
  10. Dr. Charles Parker said that this is like a jigsaw and that stimulants will likely make depression or ocd worse in people with depression/ocd cause they lower serotonin. Anyone who can comment on this from his/her own experience? I am unsure what to do about this. I have tried serotonergic drugs in the past and they didn't really seem to help with depression,anxiety,ocd and I also didn't like their side effects so I decided that it makes no sense to just keep trying one ssri after the other. I also tried venlafaxine and duloxetin and they also didn't work. But if it's true that stims lower serotonin then this would mean that even if ssri/snri don't work for depression,ocd then a person should still stay on them to keep serotonin from going down further. This is kinda scary. I notice that my general anxiety and ocd has gone up. But there's no way of telling if this has anything to do with taking stimulants. I notice that my general anxiety level goes up when there are certain things which scare me. It seems to go hand in hand. I assume that if you're scared of something specific then the anxiety areas in the brain become more activated and that this also raises general anxiety. To me this sounds pretty logical. Anyway, what do you think about the stimulant/serotonin stuff? I'd really not like to get back on a ssri cause I feel like they're useless.
  11. i dont know if my quote system is good. i cant imagine how other people do it. but it's still totally chaotic.
  12. do you take this once daily? how many hours does this last? and do you actually feel anything from it or is it subtle?
  13. yes real sleep-walking sounds scary. if i got that then i'd definitely not take zolpidem anymore. this would be way too risky.
  14. i ask myself how typewriters eg. the lack of computers affected authors. maybe they would take longer to finally formulate a sentence but once they had written it down there was no way of going back. You cant erase every sentence and then change it a bit and so on. On the other hand if somebody sits on a computer and then modifies stuff all the time or takes passages out and then doesnt know if to include them somewhere else or to totally dismiss them then this is also crippling. this happens to me all the time when i have to write a paper. I have whole passages which are all written out and then i dont know if i should throw them out or if i could just use them somewhere else. this is really annoying. even if i have more than enough material for a certain chapter and all i have to do is put paragraphs together and make it sound fluent then it still takes an awful long time until it's finally finished. usually one would think that if you've done 99% of the writing and only have to add it all together to form a homogenous text. but at least for me it's not. even if i have enough material to work with it still takes very long to decide how to put it together like a puzzle. but this is also because of how i work. i dont sit down and then write and pick up the next day where i left. i start by gathering ideas and taking notes and then i convert them into written text. the disadvantage is working like this is that a lot of stuff repeats itself and then i end up with various passages which all contain similar thoughts and then i have to cut stuff out otherwise it's too repetitive. i have a lot of voice records which were recorded over a longer period of time and then i dont remember if i've already talked about something or not. it's really quite chaotic. i have books at home written by professors which i skim through to look for stuff which i can use. these books are often hundreds of pages long and they contain probably thousands of citations from other authors! i really have no clue at all how these authors even managed this. even today with computers i couldnt do this but many books are from a time before computers. how on earth were they able to read all these countless books and articles by other scientific writers and then take notes and record where this note is taken from (author,title of the book, page of the book) and THEN incorporate all these citations into their own text. how did they do this? imagine you use index cards and you use 1 card for every citation. then you have piles of index cards lying around but how do you include the citations in your own text? imagine you write a chapter about topic and for this very topic you have 100 citations from other authors then i wouldnt even know at which point in the text i needed to use a citation. and in order to even decide if and where you use a citation you have to know them so that you can even decide when to use them. for me it's like when i find stuff in a book which i want to quote or refer to them i copy the exact passage or sentence from the book into a word document and also attach the author,name of the book and the page which it was taken from. and then i end up with 1 or more documents which contain all these quotations. and then when i write my stuff i basically have to scroll up and down these documents ALL the time and quickly skim over the quotations to see if there is anything I can refer to right now or in the chapter which i'm at. and then i copy all the quotations which can be relevant for where i'm at now into a new document and then the whole thing starts again. then i have a shorter collection of quotations and still have to go over them again and again to see if there's something relevant for where i'm right now. it's totally exhausting but i dont know if there is any better way to do this. now if i imagine that authors pull of this stuff with thousands of quotations then i really wonder how they do this. i'd probably go mad during such a writing process.
  15. Did you convert it? Do 30mg dexedrine contain 20mg pure d-amph? I have vyvanse and 30mg vyvanse contain like 8mg d-amph which isn't much. But when you hear 30mg you think woah that's a lot.
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