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Phunkyterrapin

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  1. My problem was that I usualy get free invega samples from my psych doctor. Well that were supposed to get back to me Friday with the samples but they didn't. So Monday I called them back and they sent my prescription to the pharmacy. Well the pharmacy had to order the presciption because they were out. And then insurance wouldn't cooperate and I had to pay full price for my invega yesterday. It was just one big hassle. I just took my second dose and I seem to be doing fine now. It's no wonder so many people aren't even on meds with how much they cost.
  2. Hey all, so I ran out of my medicine about 4 days ago and the pharmacy couldn't get any more until later today. So there I am (a few hours ago) siting on my couch watching a towel that's laying on the living room floor morph and breath like it's alive. So I get tired of staring at it and decide to go to my room and vape (nicotine of course). While I was vaping I felt a complete mind change, it was like my body and mind went into hyper drive. And my perception took on a mystical state. I started remembering my old delusions, believing in them 100%, and they became so real to me all over again. Mind you, it's been about 6 months since I was psychotic last. I was like that for hours and then I forced myself to set down and watch dr who until it passed. And although I'm not in the hyper aware state I was in, I'm still wrestling my thoughts. So for any of you thinking about going off your meds, DONT DO IT! Wishing good vibes for everyone on the boards tonight. And oh yeah, I finaly got my meds.
  3. Yeah when I went off my meds I was on risperidol. So yeah, I don't mess with that stuff. And hopefully I won't experience any of the negative side effects of invega. And yeah, the shamanic lifestyle led me down an interesting path. I dropped out of my classes half way through the semester and started meditating quite a few hours a day. I was also a practicing Wiccan and was using divination tools and doing some pretty complex and far out magic before I got on meds. Thankfully I'm done with that lifestyle and trying to reintegrate back into society and dealing with many existential problems because I basicly dropped all my magical thinking and many of my religious beliefs. But yeah, depression is no joke. When it hits it hits hard.
  4. i know exactly what you are talking about when you say it looks like a conveyor belt. My pdoc lowered my invega dose because he thought it may be causing my depression and anxiety. I started seeing things moving like a conveyor belt and patterns in woodgrain. It kinda looked like the wood was flowing like water. The doc says I may have schizoaffective, so I can definately relate to psychotic depression. It's nothing I'd wish on my worst enemy. It's good you're doing better though.
  5. Yeah, thinking songs had hidden meanings was the last delusion to go. And I still find myself doing it again sometimes, but I catch myself and reason my way out of it. And yeah, I sometimes wonder why the drugs brought out my mental illness when they did, but I'll never know. I do know that powerfull hallucinogens can induce a "temporary" state of psychosis at high doses in normal people, but it normally goes away when the drug wears off.
  6. Hi everyone, this is my first post here. So about seven months ago I had my first episode of psychosis during my junior year at the university after heavy psychedelic use. I was tripping about 3 times a week for a month, I was using dmt, lots of mushrooms, lsd and morning glory seeds. The symptoms started slowly at first but progressed rather fast once they got started. At first I had thought blocking, which is where I would be talking about something and my thoughts would go blank mid sentence. I also kept my iPod on shuffle and thought God was sending messages to me through the songs that came on. I started to have superstitions about certain colors of cars or the cloths people were wearing. I started thinking about things before they happened and seeing 222, 333, 444, and other repeating numbers in random places and when I looked at the time. What started next, was I started feeling things that weren't there, was convinced I was the antichrist or someone similar to Jesus, and thought I was possessed my a demon. Then came the hallucinations, they started as just objects in the outside world moving and breathing and then they turned into "internal" visions where I would see things in my head like animals, faces, patterns, and vivid scenes that went along with my paranoid thoughts. Anyways I spent a week at the psych floor at my local hospital. Got put on risperidol, and went off of it and the symptoms got worse. And I thought people could read my mind and other language based delusions. Thanks to my loving parents I ended up getting on invega and it took about a month for it to fully take effect. I've been delusion and hallucination free for the past four moths but I've been battling pretty bad depression for the past month or two. It gets rough sometimes but I have a really good doctor and cognitive behavioral therapist I can rely on. The only thing that keeps me going are lots of cigarettes, good music, and how much my parents love me. Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope to contribute more to this forum. The rabbit hole goes deep.
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