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About Canyoufixthebroken

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  1. Hey, I understand what you are going through. And I found that by eating a lot of green vegetables and drinking a lot of water helps with weight loss without relapsing. Also avoid bread and other carbohydrates during the day ( if you are going to eat carbohydrates do it in the morning for slow energy release - which keeps you going throughout the day ) Just keep eating healthy basically and you'll have a healthy weight loss - you will also notice your skin and hair looking healthier too if you eat sensibly. Please look after yourself, overcoming an eating disorder is so hard but I know you can do this :') I'm always here if you need to talk
  2. I'm getting a lot of help and support luckily - I'm just still looking for the right treatment though. And yes relapse drives me insane it just feels like all my hard work was for nothing :/ I guess you just have to keep trying though :')
  3. Knowing my pdoc he will probably start me off on the pill to test it and then if it works I'll take the injection for it :') thank you for your help! I'm seeing my podcast on Friday so I'll let you know how it goes ^-^
  4. Also is Haldol the injection used to treat schizophrenia? I heard of something similar but the sound of the injection scares me
  5. Yeah I have a lot of help and support from health care providers but regardless of the help I get it's a personal struggle and I feel like I need to be in the right mindset before I start recovery again. I am seeing my doctor in the next few days and after speaking to my mum about my relapse she is going to probably start monitoring what I eat and not let me go to the toilet straight after eating so I wont purge. They were really good last time, I had a timetable for what food I was eating and I was carefully monitored. Hopefully they can help me again
  6. I'm sorry that happened to you I also have schizophrenia and find myself hurting loved ones and pushing people away. It's a horrible thing to experience but it gets so much easier to deal with in time. It's a long struggle but it'll get better I promise
  7. I don't think I've ever tried Haldol, I'll talk to my doctor about it thank you Thank you, last time they suggested it they recommend I stay there for 4 months minimum after I had an overdose which put me in hospital last year. However, my mum said I'd be fine and I can do it on my own (since at the time I really didn't want to go) I don't know, I'll wait until they mention it again and if they think its the best option I'll do it
  8. Yeah :/ every time I feel close to recovering it just happens again. I hope it will get easier since I have had the diagnosis of bulimia since I was 12 and I'm back where I started.
  9. So it's the 6 week holidays and I was having a pretty good time spending it with my girlfriend and loved ones. However it's currently 1:15am and I have just purged after weighing myself. I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, ugly, slut! I hate her and I don't even know who she is anymore. Every night I have had alone when there's nobody with me I fall back into purging and not eating. I hate my weight. I used to be so thin but this recovery has made me fatter than ever and I just want to punch the walls and scream! I just need people to rant to who understand. I just want to be more open with Bulimia and talk to people who feel the same - I feel like ranting is a good option right now.
  10. That whole losing time thing... If you're losing time like that is it because you're really switchy? For me that's what it is. So it sort of stands to reason that if you were able to be out for the conversation you'd be able to remember it all, yes? In which case what you're really asking is how can you be out for longer than part-of-a-conversation? I guess the longer-term answer is to learn how to work amongst yourselves so that you get the space to be you (and they'll need space to be them too). But since it's been years and I don't have that yet I'm not really sure that that's a very good answer. In the shorter term you could try insisting that people talk to you by text/chat/email rather than in person. I've managed to convince most people around me that I need to see all of everything written down. I recently looked up and was in the middle of a major argument and had no idea why we were fighting, and I can guess who here did this but I'm not sure. So I'm not really the best on answers, but I can relate. I know that it's incredibly frustrating to feel hijacked by internal politics that I may or may not actually be aware of. Or maybe I'm reading this all wrong? No you read it right, if you want the truth I'm a 16 year old with no idea what is going on and is just going off what doctors have told me I literally just lose myself sometimes and I forget what has happened - I find myself mid argument with someone and it's like I've been teleported to another world and have no idea what is happening so have to improvise the moment (sometimes I get it horrendously wrong) I have people inside my head that just come from no where and they take over completely and its like I'm just asleep the whole time. I don't know what's going on. I don't know how to describe it. I'm just so confused. And on top of all that people close to me don't BELIEVE ME!? They can't see how much I'm struggling and it just makes me want to scream!
  11. That sounds awful, I'm sorry that happened to you! I understand and I'm here if you ever want to talk, since we share a similar symptom. And I'm not on any meds at the moment apart from Propranolol for my panic attacks.The reason for that is that I was on anti-psychotic medication from a young age and gradually stopped taking them from the age of 14 since they made matters worse - I thought they caused weight gain which affected my eating disorder, I thought they were poisoned, I thought I was weird compared to the rest of the kids my age... I just wanted to be normal. I've tried some different approaches though like stimulating activities, spending time with my girlfriend and being more social with my family - it's made me feel better and more normal. However it doesn't stop the voices it only distracts me so I can't hear them, I may talk to my psychiatrist again and explain how I feel and see what he thinks though. :') Thank you! I really do try and do that and will continue to. This has been part of my life for as long as I can remember and I have improved so much. It'll take time but one day I'll learn to deal with them and find the right solution
  12. I had been on and off anti-psychotics since I was a kid but stopped taking them all together when I was 14 (with doctors permission since I was showing improvement) and that is because I was overdosing on them and I wanted to prove to myself I could do this without medication. On top of that, I also have an eating disorder (Fluctuating between Bulimia/anorexia) and I always get paranoid that some meds can cause weight gain as a side effect. I'm stupid - I know, but whenever I get hold of meds I overdose anyway causing more problems than what I started with. Medication is a last resort for me I am seeing a psychiatrist now though since my symptoms have gotten worse - and he's helping a lot. Contradicting what I said earlier about the meds, I am getting put back on Melatonin to help with my reoccurring insomnia in the next few months so that should help. Maybe these voices started once I started lacking sleep? - that's what my psychiatrist said anyway Thank you for the advice! out of interest what medication would you recommend? and I could talk about it again with my psychiatrist if you (or anyone) could think of a better option? I understand how you feel, I've had a voice that told me "Do it" a few times when scissors or knives have been in my field of vision or on my mind for whatever reason. The CMHT knew at the time I was having suicidal ideation along with this particular voice. They never once brought up about going inpatient though maybe because I have family around me all the time, maybe that's the difference here, that and never having tried to commit suicide before. Do yourself a favour though and reach out to your therapist, as long as you're not going to attempt to take your own life, you're actively resisting the voice and you've told the CMHT that much then you shouldn't ever be forced to go inpatient. Don't bottle this stuff up, talk to someone about it, and also give yourself a pat on the back for being so strong, you deserve that much! Thank you, I have started opening up about it to my CMHT and I reassured them that I will not act on these thoughts. However they are still a little concerned (since I'm under the age of 18) and they had to tell my parents who need to check up on me often and report any unusual behavior. Part of me thinks that going in as an inpatient may be worth a try since I have been suggested it many times since I was 12 to now which is 4 years and I still haven't gave it a chance. I guess I'm just scared. My mum works in the mental health industry so fights my case whenever I have nearly been forced to go by the hospital after an attempt. I don't know. My girlfriend went in as an inpatient and she tells me a lot about it and it seems to be a big part of her life but it kinda scared me off the idea because it doesn't always seem positive. I feel like if I do go then I will ruin my shot at A-Levels which start in September, I will lose my relationship and my friends. I have a lot to lose.
  13. Hi there, I have had the diagnosis of Schizophrenia from a young age so it isn't anything unusual - in fact it is more controlled now However lately this little voice has creeped back into my head literally trying to destroy my life. When I'm with my girlfriend it says things like "You know she doesn't like you," "You're only temporary until she finds someone better," etc. Also it says things about my family like "They don't want you here," "they're trying to kill you," "Don't drink that - they poisoned it." However after getting emotional with my girlfriend due to my voice yesterday it said something like "Once I destroy whats close to you - it makes it easier to destroy you." then it shouted "kill yourself!" in a mumbled barking voice. I'm not sure what to do I haven't attempted suicide since 15 November 2014 - that was my last ever attempt. Never again. I want to reach out and talk to someone but they'll automatically think I'm suicidal due to the things it says and I don't want people to be checking up on me all the time. I want the voice to stop. Last time I reported a voice like this to my therapist she wanted to take me in as an inpatient but my parents fought my case, I don't want to waste my life on my mental health all the time - I want to be normal.
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