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Everything posted by Steve223

  1. I am in a somewhat similar position. I have long suspected that I might have some type of ASD, but I've never been diagnosed. I'm in my mid-20s, and I have had two friends with the condition...... who both felt they saw signs of it in my behavior. The reason why I have not been diagnosed is that my behavior is normal enough that I think I've just involuntarily "fooled" most of the counselors I have been to and all of my doctors into thinking I was NT when I very well may not be. One counselor did seem to think I may be on the spectrum, but I never was diagnosed. The diagnosis process was very involved and not covered under my insurance. I would have had to pay over 1,000 dollars to know for certain whether or not I had it, and I simply didn't have the funds to go through with the process. Although, if money were no object I definitely would have gotten tested. While I behave relatively normally in social situations and no one usually notice anything, I have serious attention span/short term memory issues that get in the way of many forms of employment, have an unusually distant quality to my gaze, suffer from horrendous perseveration and OCD that drives me crazy (though others never or rarely notice it, it's simply my own thought patterns), have unusual phobias/anxiety, struggle with understanding group social dynamics at times, and have very occasionally engaged in some rather unusual behavior especially as a kid. The situation is not uncommon at all. Many more "normal" acting individuals with autism simply fall through the cracks as doctors and counselors may or may not notice the symptoms. In many cases, they don't. If someone has the condition but does not have the stereotypical behaviors, it is actually quite unlikely that a doctor would ever notice anything, even many therapists wouldn't. Often, the only way for a doctor or counselor to have any idea when it's exceptionally mild is if you voice your concerns and begin to talk about that you have suspected that you may have it and discuss the difficulties that you have experienced.
  2. Yeah, supplements are even more risky at times than meds because some of them are so unusual that doctors may not even know about them (e.g. camel's milk or something equally strange). Doctors aren't going to be able to effectively treat someone suffering side effects if the cause of the substance in question is essentially a pharmacological mystery. They know what they have learned from studies and their medical training. If something has only been consumed by a tiny handful of people, good chance it's not in any medical training and there are no studies of it either. On the contrary, all doctors that are any good will know about all the medications on the market. I'm not against supplements, just make sure that you are taking something safe and not something that's virtually unknown to science and/or dangerous, if you choose to take supplements. The only one I saw on this list that I'd ever consider taking myself would be the St. John's Wort, though if I did I'd ask a doctor for more info on it to be 100% sure that there isn't anything dangerous about it that I'm unaware of.
  3. Most supplements don't have evidence behind them. Given this chart, it looks like lavender and St. John's Wort are the only herbal supplements that have any positive effect on mental health issues.
  4. Not with pills and not exactly the same problem, but whenever I go to the dentist, I worry I'm about to choke to death on that x-ray film they give you. Never had anything happen physically, just pure irrational paranoia about choking and dying on the damn thing. To be honest, I'm still scared of the dentist with all those sharp metal tools and all. Never had any issues with pills even the larger ones, but the dentist absolutely scares the crap out of me even though I'm 25 and obviously know it's nothing to be scared of.
  5. Look at the back of the box. The box of it I had said 50mg I think, although check the box you have as yours could be a different product. Also, since I saw on your post that you're taking other meds, call the pharmacist/doctor and make sure it doesn't interact with anything your taking if you haven't done that yet.
  6. Benadryl is a bit of a different animal than many people realize. Don't take more than it says to on the box, because very high doses of Benadryl can cause a state of complete delirium and hallucinations. A couple of friends of mine used to abuse it for this purpose. They would see nonexistent people, have conversations with them, watch TV programs when the TV was off, have conversations with inanimate objects, and just go completely insane for like 8 hours. They wouldn't even know they were on anything at the time either, to them all the craziness just seemed normal. The recommended dosages are a sleep aid, above that doesn't make you more tired....... it literally causes people to become delirious and completely insane for several hours. I take it sometimes for sleeping...... but when I do I'm always careful to not exceed the recommended dosage.
  7. Yeah, definitely don't try to self regulate something like this. Testosterone is not something that you can mess around with the levels of without a doctor's advice. It's a major hormone in the body and having the wrong levels of it in your body could potentially really mess you up badly I would imagine. The doctors don't want you to self regulate simply for your own safety, especially since you mentioned that you are dealing with urges of very serious self harm. While this goes without saying, never act on these self harm thoughts under any circumstances! and I'm very glad that you said they are small urges that you can easily push aside. I'd mention the self harm urges you are dealing with as well to a therapist or doctor if you haven't yet, because that sounds like a very stressful and difficult thought to have arising repeatedly in your mind. I've dealt with self harm urges as well (different specific thoughts though), and I did end up mentioning it to my therapist which was very helpful for me.
  8. Weed is definitely a trigger for OCD/social paranoia. I've never had that bad of a time with weed, but it definitely has tended to make my social phobia/OCD worse..... although never bad enough to really ruin the high luckily. I don't smoke it anymore only because when I have, I always would just get carried away and do it all the time which never was really a good thing OCD-wise and also just in terms of the general laziness that came with being high all the time I can definitely get where you're coming from though, as it's definitely an OCD trigger. Strangely enough, coffee gives me OCD issues sometimes too it seems.
  9. Trigger Warning: Don't read this if you're scared of aliens, especially not late at night. However....... here's the thing. During the day, I never think about aliens, and the idea even strikes me as a bit absurd. I don't feel like it's anything to worry about, as even if alien abductions are real, it's such a rare event and isn't any kind of danger to people..... and alien abduction probably isn't real at all. That's kind of obvious, as it isn't exactly like people are getting whisked away left and right (if at all). At night though, my thoughts on the subject are different, and it just kind of sometimes turns to "what if it's real". If I'm not thinking about them, it's fine. However, if I even think of aliens prior to going to sleep, I often toss and turn thinking about it. I just am thinking to myself, "what if I got abducted" over and over, like an anxious loop. I'll turn the lights on sometimes, because the dark starts scaring me. Then, if I hear a noise at night........ I usually go to the window and even check in my closet to make sure there aren't any aliens and/or UFOs around...... of course, as you might imagine there never has been one and I don't think there ever would be obviously However, that doesn't stop me from checking to make sure there isn't....... sometimes even a few times if there are a lot of noises. If there's a noise, I've been known to literally leap out of bed and frantically look around for a second if I hear something at night. I used to be scared of them as a kid, essentially similar to the way most kids are scared of monsters, except for me it was aliens and alien abduction. The thing is the whole thing probably isn't real, but since I can't say for 100% that it's not and no one really can..... it never ceases to keep me up at night if I start thinking about it before bed I used to read alien abduction stories as a kid (now I can see that there's a 90% chance they aren't even real or only a minute portion of them are real if any at all), yet as a kid I fully believed it and never really have been able to fully shake the fear of the alleged phenomena. I pretty much can't even watch those shows about them, because when I do, I get myself convinced that they're probably real and it ends up scaring the crap out of me and keeping me up at night...... especially if I watch it before bed. The scariest one is that Unsealed Alien Files....... even though whenever I fact check the stuff they say on the internet, it's clear that nearly everything on that and all those shows is just a bunch of nonsense and/or hoaxes pulled by people over the years.
  10. It might not be a troll. There are people that really feel this way towards their families. Some may have (or think they have) a reason for it, but unfortunately there are plenty of people that feel this way that don't. There unfortunately isn't enough information to say why OP feels the way they do, but I suspect it's probably nothing justified as there's so little info given.
  11. Never heard of this, but it certainly sounds very frightening. Who was allegedly killed and over what? As far as the election goes, I don't think Trump has any chance of winning at this point. Hillary may have used a personal email for classified info, but Trump mocked a disabled man, has connections with Russian government, hailed Putin as a great leader, turned the convention into a circus, made that scary sounding comment about 'second amendment people', allegedly sexually forced himself on his wife and was very abusive towards her for years, has made statements that almost sound as though he may be losing touch with reality (e.g. he claimed Obama and Hillary created one of the most dangerous terrorist organizations in the world). While he dismissed the last statement as "sarcasm", he initially said that he meant it literally (indicating that he may actually be entertaining such an outrageous idea). In addition, he is so full of himself that he claims if he doesn't get in, the election must be rigged. There simply is no basis for it, and it seems counter to the spirit of democracy for the loser to say that the only reason they could possibly lose would be if it was "rigged". Plus, he seems to be quite paranoid about this, claiming that "certain districts in Pennsylvania are prone to rigging". However, there never has been a rigged election or a rigged district in US history (at least not one at the federal or state level). Nothing against people that have NPD, but many psychologists say he clinically is a narcissist that likely has rage issues to some degree....... and I don't think people would want a hot tempered narcissist in the white house or having access to the infamous red button. I seriously can't imagine that there's any chance that enough people could vote for a candidate with this track record for him to get in.
  12. That's no way to be, unless there really is no other option (e.g. they are extremely belligerent to you and you have been unable to reconcile the problem).
  13. Sorry to say it, but I did basically end up having the panic attack. I realized it was yet another OCD scenario and not a real one though, so it ultimately resolved itself after much distress. My OCD has been terrible lately though, causing me to dread being out in public even
  14. Don't even mention that God awful plant Made the idiotic (and luckily not deadly) mistake of deciding to eat some of that horrific stuff in my more reckless years...... it's absolutely horrible and isn't even worthy of being considered a drug really. Honestly, it's not even really a drug so much as a toxic, chemically induced insanity. I had no idea it was possible to have such an awful experience from such a minute quantity of a plant that I had ingested Plus, my nightmare of a "trip" lasted for THREE DAYS! Now, merely looking at that horrible plant makes me cringe, and I also read after the fact that it can actually kill you by basically causing you to suddenly drop dead of a heart attack during the nightmarish "trip" that it causes! I cannot believe such a horrendous substance even exists, although it does. The thing is, it's not even really a "trip" in the classic sense of the term. It just basically causes your brain to short circuit and likely suffer damage in the process. Never touch this stuff, it's truly and utterly horrible garbage that could easily kill someone foolish enough to ingest it. There also is ZERO potential for insights or anything positive. It just makes you go nuts, sometimes even permanently.
  15. You seriously are responding to this serious and potentially life or death type of thread by making offensive jokes about a dildo?!?!?!?! Also, cirrhosis does not always mean terminal illness (unless the cirrhosis has progressed to that point), and assuming OP is still alive, she shouldn't just not care about her life, because life is valuable. Drinking may seem like an impossible habit to abandon if you suffer from alcohol addiction, but it's always possible to stop no matter how seriously addicted you are. Dizzylady, I can say with confidence that if you set your mind to it, you can overcome the alcohol addiction that led you to where you are now. It sounds as though you have made progress, and you can potentially live a long life, if you are able to avoid alcohol in it's entirety (given what your doctor said to you). Definitely do quit drinking, as there is no reason to willingly kill yourself with alcohol.
  16. It's often hard to pin down which orientation one is if you've been with both. You've been with both men and women sexually, which means that you're bisexual. Whether or not you prefer one gender over the other is something that only you can decide. The fact that you're strongest attraction was to a woman doesn't necessarily mean that you like women better. It just means that you were more attracted to her than other people that you had been with.
  17. I'm in a situation you don't hear about much here or anywhere, which is why I am a bit skeptical of the whole thing. I've heard of couples not getting along going to therapy, and I've heard some people say great things about it. However, I never have heard of someone going to therapy with a family that is difficult to deal with. The issues that I have had with them are a very long story to say the least. Sometimes things are stable and peaceful, but other times they are not.
  18. Naltrexone blocks the opiate receptors, as it is used to save people that have overdosed on heroin or other opiates. It is an opiate antagonist. There is no direct effect on self harm urges. However, it does have effects on similar receptors that self harm triggers. Self harm often releases endorphins, which are endogenous opiates. Therefore, it likely has some effects at curbing self harm or at least reducing the effects it creates.
  19. How is it going? I hope you're doing well! If not, you'll be doing better after some time goes by. After this, I read that it takes like a week or so sometimes for the withdrawals from meth to fully go away, sometimes two with heavy use. After that, you'll be completely in the clear from what I have read. Stay strong, you made the right decision.
  20. If you have a problem (e.g. withdrawals) and people do not know that you had an addiction problem, you could call in sick. In that case, simply saying that you've suddenly come down with a bad case of the flu might suffice. I'm sure this situation is kind of scary for you, but once you ride out any withdrawal symptoms (if you end up getting them), you'll be far better off away from the stuff. Congratulations on getting rid of the stuff, it sounds like you have the courage to rid yourself of this vice for good. As far as I know, they don't give people anything if they are in withdrawal from the stuff, and it's not physically dangerous to come off of it from the things I have read about it, after seeing your post.
  21. Nope. Sorry to say it, but I have a very hard time believing that a neurochemical difference like bipolar could be caused by being a late virgin. Genetics are more likely as a cause, but that isn't proven either. Also, the experience you had sounds like classic mania. While I can't formally diagnose, as someone that's taken psychology classes and also as someone who was manic briefly myself, I can say that what you experienced almost certainly was mania IMO. It also sounds like some of the things you did could have gotten you into dangerous situations (e.g. sleeping with the escort, raging, and burning the table). Given the risky nature of the episode you describe here, I'd encourage you to seek out a competent therapist asap.
  22. What you are saying is often true of those without a mental health condition, although there are risks for anyone. However, it can be a whole different ball game for folks that have things like bipolar, as OP has. I wouldn't be concerned about OP or anyone "frying their brain", having flashbacks, "never coming down", overdosing, or any of the famous LSD urban legends. These things are myths, but manic episodes aren't myths. OP would be putting himself in danger of suffering a manic episode that could be dangerous for him, if he were to do it. Therefore, I think it could be dangerous advice to suggest that it may be "enlightening" and suggest he do it if he feels he "can handle it". Manic episodes can be quite serious, and it goes far beyond "not being able to handle it". Unfortunately, people can sometimes unknowingly do very dangerous things and/or make extremely bad decisions, or even end up temporarily hospitalized while manic. Given that, from a purely harm reductionist standpoint, I would say that those suffering from bipolar or other serious mental health diagnoses should stay away from psychedelics because of these risks. The dangers of potentially triggering mania simply makes it not remotely worth it. If OP is seeking an enlightening or transformative experience, mediation would likely be a better bet for OP. There are no risks involved in it, as far as I am aware of. Given OP's tendency to reach such altered states of consciousness very easily with cannabis, he probably would be able to get to some very enlightening places very easily by simply meditating. Of course, in order to experience this, OP would need to remain dedicated to the practice. However, it would likely be extremely beneficial to him over the course of time, and it may bring about great positive change, without any risks. I think that the practice would likely suit him very well, given everything that he wrote.
  23. It does sound like you have done a sizable amount of psychedelics in the past, given that you said LSD used to be your obsession. However, it sounds like times have changed for you now, and it would be a bad idea to take them. You've received a diagnosis that you're taking medication for, and you are noticing that even weed often causes bad experiences. Times have changed and it simply isn't meant for you now. On some level, you seem to be aware of this, as you are saying you're worried you could get hospitalized from taking it. I'd go as far as to say that even the marijuana may be a bad idea, as it seems as though it may be destabilizing you to some degree. If you do continue to smoke weed, don't do it at night. The way it keeps you up all night could potentially lead to mania ensuing in the next days, if you are prone to manic episodes. Also, the way you're describing the paranoia and lack of sleep sounds somewhat mania-like. This effect might not be so much from your disorder as an interaction with the medication you're taking, although it might be simply that you react badly to weed on it's own. I'll say that I find it a little surprising that you did a lot of LSD in the past, but now even marijuana is leading to these sorts of effects. However, it seems that you have changed on a psychological level in such a way that drugs aren't for you anymore. It does happen to some people that they just change like that. Just look up "turning the corner".
  24. If it were dramatic examples, like laughing at a funeral, then psychosis would come to mind. If it were more everyday type examples, I'd say it's probably because those around you encouraged you to keep your feelings private, and you tend to show little of the emotion that you feel. This is actually a very common issue that people deal with, myself included.
  25. I agree that demons aren't real, but it's a very common hallucination probably one of the most common. I also saw something along those lines as a teenager, although it was an isolated thing rather than a frequent, ongoing experience. At the time that it happened, I thought that it was something to do with some type of "demons". As I thought about it more after I calmed down, I realized that I simply had been hallucinating due to sleep deprivation. Once one is able to become aware that they don't exist, the whole idea of them and the thought of an "experience" becomes far less scary. I personally think that any sort of fear based "spirituality" detracts from one's true spiritual growth. It also happened very slightly on other occasions when very sleep deprived later on, but it didn't really scare me after I thought through that the whole thing simply isn't real. I think it's a very good sign that you are able to reality check and have an awareness that demons don't exist, because otherwise I can definitely see that it would be likely to turn into an overwhelming fear that isn't needed. I'd recommend against getting into witchcraft, because it fuels the concept of there being reality to it rather than simply fear based hallucinations. Additionally, those that you would encounter at any meetings with witchcraft would likely be of the school of thought that such things are "real", which would only fuel your fear. I have had experiences that I do truly believe to be spiritual experiences, but it's never happened in the form of something that's simply a story that is part of the culture. The things that I have felt were most genuine and most spiritual were truly personal and unique in a way that I can't even exactly describe. Although you aren't talking to a tdoc now, it would probably be a good idea to. It sounds like this fear is quite distressing to you, and it would probably help to be able to talk with someone in person about it.
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