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Everything posted by Steve223

  1. This sounds like a pretty clear cut case of that your family caused and/or greatly contributed to your mental health issues in the first place, and distancing yourselves from them is probably the answer. You'll probably find that you feel better, once you remove and/or distance them from your life. If they are ashamed of you, and they are doing nothing other than removing themselves..... it's probably better off that you limit your contact with them. Oddly enough, in situations like this, even though they may not care about your mental health issues at all..... their cold, unsupportive behavior is probably caused by a different manifestation of mental illness. Sadly, this is typical behavior of an abuser. Once they see the consequences that their abuse caused, they simply abandon the person to struggle on their own. Believe me though, their lives are far from perfect. Given their behavior, they are probably both struggling with some type of psychological problems, probably pretty serious ones.
  2. There is this girl that I liked, more than anybody else really. It's been months since she has decided she wanted nothing to do with me, and I still think about her every day........ despite her not wanting anything to do with me. It seems that no matter, I am simply unable to stop thinking about her despite it having been literally months and months since we've even spoken! I have heard that the government and other agencies use an elaborate hypnotic procedure to erase the past memories of top secret agents for certain especially secret mission (then they implant them with false identities). I'm not sure how much of this is reality, but I hear that it is supposedly theoretically possible. I know that my Mom is trained in hypnosis, but she is somewhat skeptical about the power of it...... and probably wouldn't really believe in something this profound. However, I would definitely want to undergo this procedure if it would allow me to forget about her permanently. Where would I go to have this procedure done? Would my Mom be able to do it since she knows hypnosis? Also, are there any risks associated with this form of hypnosis? I see a video on youtube claiming that it can "erase memories of someone" for this purpose, mostly aimed at people in a similar situation to myself. However, would it be plausible that by watching this video and following the instructions I would be sufficiently hypnotized to have my memories of her erased. Also, is this all just wishful thinking and all this is likely quackery? I mean it honestly sounds like quackery, but I have read about this alleged hypnotic procedure from some sources that seem quasi/theoretically credible? Although, I will admit I don't really believe in it. Also, I wouldn't be willing to do this if it would involve taking some type of brainwashing drugs or anything....... that would be too extreme and seems unnecessarily risky for this purpose.
  3. Ever since I heard about repressed memories, the whole idea has seriously bugged me. It bugs me, because supposedly it's possible to have a "repressed" memory of any and all sorts of horrible things that happened of any kind. I keep thinking to myself what if some terrible, awful thing happened and I don't remember it (revolving around this phony friend I used to have). At first, it just started with what if and all that crap. Then, I started thinking of all these scenarios involving these different specific "what if" this or that happened type scenarios. When I'd wonder "what if" about something, I'd think I remembered something, but I'd be unsure if it happened or not. It would always revolve around this friend that I had that I ended up having a big fight with as I got older. I didn't like the guy, and I started getting paranoid about "what if" with all this stuff, which is how the whole thing started. Before, I kept wondering "what if" I had said or done some horrible thing. The thing is as much of an ass as he was he never seemed the type to do the things I keep thinking. Before, it was stuff that was completely and nearly provably implausible. I'd get myself going thinking this or that might've happened, and I'd totally bug myself out with it just like this. Like it would be stuff about thinking maybe I had drank poison or said some really embarrassing thing that I completely didn't. It has gotten so bad that I'd literally be thinking I had said or done something in the moment that I didn't. I don't have full on OCD, because it "doesn't impair my functioning". However, I have been known to have pure-O OCD type tendencies, and it sure as hell does impair my quality of life.
  4. I'm not sure if this necessarily means he's gay or not, actually. Don't try to question his sexuality, because if he is certain he's gay, then he is. Liking "men dressed up as women" doesn't necessarily mean he's gay in and of itself though. I actually went through a similar thing with liking a girl that was transgender (and still wanted to keep everything), and I was really infatuated with her..... and still haven't been able to forget her despite her having ditched me months ago. Given that, I kind of wondered if I could be gay because of that, but I realized that I really only feel a connection with women rather than men. Anyways though, being attracted to a transgender female isn't really necessarily indicative of being anything other than straight. Is he interested in MEN dressed as women or a transgender female? There's a big difference between the two. The former is a man that is simply wearing women's clothing, the latter actually is FEMALE in the body of a male.
  5. That could be it. I kept saying that I was going to leave, and people seemed to be not wanting me to. I actually asked her to drop me off before by the bus station, and she didn't. So, I'm guessing that she wasn't actually wanting me to go. I guess maybe in the heat of the moment, she seemed to get frustrated that I kept saying I was going to go. That could be, because I was kind of saying it a lot over the past few days.
  6. I've been living at home with my parents, and sometimes I can't tell whether or not they want me to go.
  7. In my experience, the more you have to do, the less you're likely to want to drink.
  8. That doesn't sound that terrible to be honest, unless you already know you have a drinking problem. If you were getting drunk every day, then yeah I'd say it's a sign of alcoholism or heavy drinking. Otherwise, there isn't anything inherently wrong with getting drunk in the afternoon out of boredom from time to time. I'll admit that there have been rare occasions when I've gotten drunk in the morning, because I had nothing better to do. The act of getting drunk does not and wouldn't ever make one an alcoholic. It's only alcoholism if you get drunk EVERY DAY or you NEED TO GET DRUNK ON A REGULAR BASIS. However, it's always best to find a healthier activity if at all possible, as getting drunk isn't good for your liver, as everyone already knows. I've definitely gotten drunk in the middle of the day numerous times, especially when I lived alone, as I was very bored with no one to talk to. I don't really feel the need to get drunk unless I am bored and have no responsibilities........ then I can definitely understand the drive to get wasted in the middle of the day
  9. I find hearing "spiritual enlightenment" in the same sentence as getting high on DXM laughable honestly. Yes, I have on one occasion drank cough medicine to get high, but it completely was not worth it. If anyone has had a "spiritual experience" on it, I'm not doubting them, but I just fail to see how the experience of DXM could in any way "enlighten" a person. It just made me feel apathetic, disinterested, stupid, and gave me very poor motor control. Even the next day, I felt quite slow in a weird way. It was as though I had actually become stupider. I bounced back and all since I only did it once, but I could see that doing it all the time would probably just turn you into a blithering idiot as opposed to becoming enlightened. It probably just makes people sometimes feel enlightened, because as they say ignorance is bliss........ and I can definitely see this stuff leading to a state of ignorance, as that's what it did for me. I actually shit my pants while on it...... yeah that's real enlightenment (obviously sarcasm) After reading up on it, DXM has some pretty nasty health risks. Supposedly, there was some suspicion of it causing "holes in the brain". Not sure how accurate that is, but it definitely doesn't sound too good. Plus, all the sugars and additives in the cough syrup have a way of making you so sick that it's impossible to even enjoy the lame "experience" that it gives you. DXM sucks.
  10. Hallucinogen addiction isn't really possible. Hallucinogens cannot cause a person to become addicted in a true sense. One could greatly enjoy their experiences and use hallucinogens frequently. However, they can stop any time they choose. If you feel that your use is causing you problems, just stop tripping. With this type of drug, it's that easy. I doubt you will have cravings for them, and you certainly won't go into withdrawal or anything like that. You may get bored and want to take them, but just do something else instead. This really shouldn't be too hard. If you feel like this is causing you problems, I definitely agree that you should stop. People that regularly use psychedelics often have a way of starting to get spacy and strange acting while sober after a while. That's not always the case, but it definitely can be.
  11. I used to punch myself in the head, but I never had the urge to cut my face. Although, there was a time when I actually "beat myself up" as a young teenager by repeatedly punching myself in the face and head. It was pretty bad, and I could easily have given myself a concussion. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure that I didn't. This act of SI left marks and caused my face to appear bruised and swollen for a while. It was really bad, and I definitely think this kind of behavior or urges necessitates MH care. Urges to cut the face sound like serious business. Luckily, I've only cut my arms and legs, but I thankfully managed to stop doing that.
  12. Highly doubt it, unless the symptoms are relatively subtle. Although it was different than being schizophrenic obviously, there was one occasion when a drunken bender I went on that put me in a state of temporary delirium. Luckily, it cleared up after I woke up in the morning and I stopped drinking. During the time, I was saying and doing truly bizarre things and generally acting like an absolute maniac that was very different from ordinary drunkenness. However, to me, I had no idea anything was out of the ordinary in the least. To me, it was just an ordinary night with all this messed up stuff going on, complete with delusions of grandeur and superhuman powers. However, I didn't really even know it was messed up stuff, it was just the way it was........ and I couldn't figure out for the life of me why people were saying I had "gone nuts" as everything just seemed normal to me, I barely even "felt drunk". Then, the next day, I was just dumbfounded. It also wasn't really stressful to me at the time, because I thought all the scary, bizarre things I thought were going to happen was just everyday business as usual. Now, during this, I had no idea anything was amiss despite being a psychology/sociology college major at the time. However, for other people it was clear as day that I was "acting all crazy". Other than my family (and possibly the bartender), I don't think that anyone really saw my bizarre behavior or heard the strange things I was saying. However, I've been told that I was complaining about someone that kept calling me....... yet my phone screen remained black and there was nobody calling me at all. Luckily, it cleared up completely after sobering up, but it was a truly strange experience that really gave me a new perspective on life. It's crazy how I had no idea anything was off, despite having extensive knowledge of these sorts of neurological issues from getting straight As in my college courses on these sorts of things. Also, it was very strange that it never happened again, despite continuing to drink just as heavily some other times after that. Although, I have no firsthand knowledge of non-alcohol induced breaks from reality, as that's luckily not something I've experienced. It's possible that for someone that doesn't have the confusion of a substance being in their system, they are able to question the delusions on some level....... but I doubt it, as I think that's relatively uncommon and wouldn't really be psychosis so much as a state of paranoia/grandiosity.
  13. I have had issues with my family at times, as they can be highly judgmental of others for pretty much any arbitrary reason.
  14. Well at least she does recognize the whole thing as real. She sounds like she just has a propensity to be a jerk and controlling, and the issues you are having probably have little to with your gender. She does use your chosen name, but she just reverts back basically just to be an ass about something else. Depending on the nature of the other arguments, I'd agree with the other poster that is sounds like she is emotionally abusive towards you.
  15. My mother is very similar in her views on this sort of thing. It is honestly incredibly difficult to deal with this kind of behavior. If you do ever come out to her about being heteroflexible (which I take is another way of saying bisexual), be prepared that she will probably be judgmental and cold about it. She will certainly be very uncomfortable with it, but I doubt she'd be the type to react all that harshly given what you said. However, given what she said, my guess is you probably could end up telling her. In a way, the two of you may be able to reach a state of her just not mentioning it. Honestly, that's the best that you would probably get from telling her, given what you said. Who knows, I could be wrong though. Given her lifestyle of having been married for 35 years and having these traditionalist views, she probably would be able to understand if you were ever to be in a serious relationship or have serious long term type interest in a woman. She would be able to relate to your feelings of wanting to be with the person that you love in the end. If she is religious, disregard what I said. If she has any serious religious views, reading the bible, etc., it could be a very different scenario. She could really react with hostility, but given what you said, she still probably would be able to reconcile with you. Telling her will likely just make things uncomfortable for the both of you, but it might not be as bad as you might be inclined to expect given this.
  16. My counselor says my pure-O OCD type tendencies aren't technically OCD, as I manage to keep them from affecting my functioning. However, it definitely does annoy me quite a lot at times. Can one consciously eliminate the intrusive thoughts of OCD, because it just seems like they randomly come. I absolutely hate it and it drives me insane. I just don't understand them and why they come. I feel like if I were able to understand them it would make more sense, my intrusive thoughts are just so weird, idiosyncratic, and just generally bother me a lot. What is the cause of them?.... and how do you get rid of the thoughts or be able to know they will never come back. They're gone now, but I feel like they keep coming from time to time, then it's all better, then they're back for a while..... and on and on again. I don't even know why they come, they just do.
  17. It depends. If you begin to believe the fantasy again, I'd say it's a sign that you could be having problems again. It seems that when you are carried away with this particular belief it leads to problems. I can assure you that you are not psychic and you don't have any powers. The belief appears to lead you down a dangerous road, and it is also a false belief. The fantasies in and of itself may not necessarily be harmful, provided you have insight. Many people fantasize about having powers that are healthy people, it is a common fantasy. For you, it may lead you down a bad road again though, that depends on how your mind tends to operate. Also, one could theoretically actually have the false belief that they are psychic without suffering from psychosis. There are plenty of people who work as mediums, tarot card readers, etc., many of them believe they have powers...... of course, they don't though. These individuals don't necessarily suffer from an illness per say. They simply believe in something that is highly unlikely at best. However, the belief that one is psychic could be a delusion for other people....... if it interferes with day to day life. If it interferes with day to day life, and it is all consuming, yes it is dangerous and delusional.
  18. This is a question that doesn't necessarily apply to myself, but I suppose it could theoretically apply to anyone. Can someone have a repressed memory about something that isn't about something sexual? Could it be about something that's not even necessarily involving being victimized by another person in any way? It seems like there are thousands or perhaps even millions of types of traumatic events one could experience. Say for instance could someone repress a memory of a terrible injury they sustained, cruel comments, a fight, a car accident, etc. It seems like there would be a multitude of things one could possibly repress. I also don't understand the concept really. Does the person simply not remember or is it that they simply choose to not revisit something? I don't have any repressed memories, nor have I been a victim of anything traumatic other than some messed up social experiences and rejection I've experienced as an adult. Also, when people have a repressed memory, is it always something that happened as a kid or could it have been as an adult? Also, could it be recent memory. For instance, is it theoretically possible that some horrible thing could have happened to someone and the next day they have no memory of it? I know that for people with histories of trauma, hypnosis unlocks the painful memories from the past. However, could hypnosis be used to remember something that one simply forgot (e.g. where they left one of their belongings) or for periods of time when a person was in a drunken blackout? Or is hypnosis strictly for recovering memories that were traumatic to a person?
  19. Yeah, I think you're exactly right. It's kind of messed up though even though he didn't even mean for it to be, because I have a tendency to get kind of sketched out and paranoid without anybody psyching me out at all. Then, later on, he says to me that he meant people might try to take advantage of me financially, since I don't have a lot of experience paying bills and stuff. I kind of get what he's saying that maybe he's afraid about me signing on to some kind of bullshit you hear about where somebody starts overcharging for some crap, taking your SSN, some kind of rip off, or just generally trying to nickel and dime me for some crap. I'll say that I'm always pretty alert to that sort of stuff though, probably more so than the average just out of college age person honestly.
  20. I'm 24 years old, a college graduate, and living with my parents.
  21. Oh sorry, I didn't mean to post too much info. I'm not looking for attention at all.
  22. In the past, I had a lot of suicidal ideation that I thankfully never acted on over the years.
  23. When I came back from college, I was a mess
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