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  1. One of my voices has been crap. Miserable. Wanna kill myself. Going hiking tomorrow, just keep telling myself dead people can't go hiking. After tomorrow I suppose I'll keep signing up to hiking days out until it's over.
  2. One of my voices is becoming really aggressive and intrusive and I'm finding it painful to be berated so much. Going to need help dialoging and forming a healthy boundaried relationship with this one, relieved that therapy is coming up.
  3. After three weeks off work, I'm back in work. I work night shifts 'till 2.30 in the morning. I love my job but having no sleep schedule really makes things worse.
  4. I went to my first hearing voices group, which I was super nervous about, but it went great. My dx got changed from psychotic depression to psychotic disorder nos, which I'm pretty happy(?) about. I feel it more accurately reflects what's going on, it doesn't feel like my voices and hallucinations and paranoia are really that related to my low mood.
  5. Yeah, I'm pretty much resigned to a Tory government at this point. I feel like I've accepted that grim reality. I'm just so pleased my local community came out like this. It'll be nice knowing I'm surrounded by people who loathe everything the Tories stand for, too.
  6. Loved seeing Corbyn in Leeds yesterday, really impressed by the size of the crowd. The Tories might get in, but I have a renewed faith in my local community.
  7. Had my last meeting with my care co-ordinator (she was a psyche nurse, she's retraining to become a clinical psychologist), feel hollow, but I'm going to be optimistic about my new care co-ordinator and see where it goes. She said she really enjoyed working with me and I thanked her for helping me out so much and wished her luck, so I feel I have closure on her leaving but it still sucks, I cried a lot after the final meeting. Exams are coming up soon so I'm pretty stressed, so the horror-esque hallucinations are increasing and one of my voices is freaking out and won't be quiet. Glad I have regular therapy at the moment, we're going to do some voice dialoguing and I hope that'll help with the voice. I was doing tutoring for biochemistry today and she wouldn't stop yelling at me to pay attention, which made it hard to pay attention, and I couldn't talk to her to tell her to be quiet 'cause I'd look super weird in front of my tutor. Feel that with exams + care co-ordinator leaving + panic about climate change ending the world soon I'm just hanging on, but I can't afford a breakdown right now and I'm really proud of myself for holding up.
  8. My psychologist recommended checking out Rufus May, a clinical psychologist who hears voices and stuff, and he's amazing. I really like this talk. If you have a spare half hour & the concentration span I'd recommend it.
  9. I'm sorry to hear that, and I'm glad you've found an approach that works for you too. I think it's important treatment teams have a variety of approaches and treatments in their arsonal because people are really unique in what they prefer and respond to. My voices could, and can, be difficult too. It definitely isn't sunshine and rainbows and they've definitely convinced me of bad stuff and pulled me into delusional thinking, frightened me, berated me, made it difficult to hear other people, etc. But ultimately what's worked for me is understanding them as a 'split off' part of myself that I'm not recognising as myself and working with them, like shown in the compassion for voices video.
  10. I always have symptoms (although I don't even like to call them symptoms), but I'm not always ill. It's odd. If you're interested, I like these two videos that explain my experience of psychotic symptoms (which isn't everyone's preferred or helpful approach, this is just how I approach it!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syjEN3peCJw&t=3s and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRqI4lxuXAw Excessive sadness is a problem, feeling suicidal is a problem, not being able to get out of bed is a problem, panic attacks are a problem, isolating myself is a problem, etc etc. Voices and hallucinations that interfere with how I'm able to live my life (scaring me a lot, commanding me, insulting me, talking whilst I'm trying to listen to someone or something else, etc), thinking I'm a robot instead of human and drawing blood to see if it'll come out as metal is a problem. I've dealt with a lot through a very understanding treatment team that's encouraged me to develop a relationship with the voices, rather than fear the fact that they're there at all, and to identify delusions and see what they might represent. Over time this has made them kinder, and they rarely talk when I need to listen to something or someone else. I always have "symptoms" (voices, hallucinations, sometimes half-delusions that I can spot), but I'm not always sick. I now view them as a helpful and meaningful additions to my life. I still get sick sometimes, and that's absolute hell (as everyone here is familiar with!).
  11. Yeah definitely. I hope a miracle happens and my generation (I'm 21) turns out to vote in large numbers. Don't think it'll happen though.
  12. Here are some super moody pose-y selfies.
  13. No way any party but Tory is gonna win, makes my heart hurt. I work in social care and it's absolutely harrowing seeing the amount of people destitute because their disability benefit and support has been unjustly taken away, people contacting us because they're hungry and can't get food, or further marginilised by others because of their race. My friend made a good point though - we were expecting a general election in 2020, now we can expect another in 2022. It's only an extra two years of the Tories, not five.
  14. I'm in the UK... But it does look terrifying. Sending out positive vibes and good wishes to all the Americans here.
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