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onsenseal

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About onsenseal

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  1. I wish they weren't like this. There are few things worse than watching a loved one trying to help but being unable to. I have to hide most of my problems, because if my mom figured out the mental health history, I'd be afraid she would do something to herself. If they didn't care, my life would be so much easier.
  2. I don't know. They might have their own problems, maybe they're not as healthy as we think they are, or maybe they're lazy, or not getting the idea? I never felt like that. I try not to bother my family with my problems because I think that they have enough of their own. My dad wanted to help clean up, so I yelled at him and kicked him out. My mom cooked food and I sent her back. So I guess everyone is different.
  3. I agree with @GonnaLaugh. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming. Sometimes it helps me to lift my mood and cope with depression.
  4. Yes, it's difficult and stressful, but I was lucky, because it's free here, so I could just try it without any risk. Higher level STEM classes are usually empty and cozy, and profs are really nice and motivating. I just feel bad because I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. I can't cope with stress or responsibility or life at all. Restaurants packed with people sound like a nightmare. I've never been drunk and I don't like drunk people. I'm not judging anyone, I know it's normal, but I need the sense of control.
  5. I'm an older college student, which tells a little about my age. i considered doing a PhD but I don't think I can do it because this lifestyle is too active? I got used to professional talk and work with my colleagues, but when they get hyped for concerts, parties, mention alcohol, or "fun" things I'm terrified. As a teenager it was fine, but now there's so much social pressure... avoiding these things is very isolating. I barely feel human. For example, restaurants, how am I supposed to enjoy the food with so many strangers around? How can people read in crowded libraries? I did most work and studying between depression naps. I have no idea how having a job is going to work . My social anxiety is probably amplified by AvPD and gender dysphoria, but it also exists on it own I guess.
  6. Feeling detached from myself and the world and wondering why I'm here. And wondering if I can reference research papers with errors in them.
  7. I don't really have Agoraphobia. I just have a lot anxiety when going outside, or in social situations, or crowds, or traveling in general. No uncontrollable panic attacks, just chest tightness and anxiety that's eating me up inside. I went outside for the first time in days and there's no way in hell I can meet the demands of society... how can people be so casual and carefree? Sorry, that's not a success story. My only success was, I went outside, I didn't avoid it, and because of that I got a Cheeseburger. The pickle was excellent.
  8. How are you being more open about it? Do you tell them you have Agoraphobia? When someone asks me why I'm leaving, or don't want to hang out, or don't want a job, I just say I'm lazy. Yes, it feels stupid. Yes, it makes people angry and think I'm making fun of them. I can't come up with anything better.
  9. This is the real argument here. It would be too expensive. Believe in capitalism, it will never disappoint.
  10. Sorry, I can't give any advice. But now I feel stupid for flipping a brick because my doc wanted to increase Lyrica to 150. Good luck.
  11. Wouldn't people with MI just try to hide it even more then?
  12. Maybe spending 20 h a day in bed (not sleeping) isn't healthy

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