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Bateman

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About Bateman

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  1. I'm on haldol (but I was in denial for 2 months and very paranoid anyway) and now I feel good and not delusional (I remember my delusions but now I can see the reality). She can't understand, she's full of fears and she's angry with my parents cause she warned them about my strange behavior but they don't have believed her, so she's passed a lot of time without knowing anything about me, and I think she just walked away from me, for protect herself...
  2. Unfortunately I did not get help from anyone. My ex gf tried many times but I was irrational at time and I don't believe to nobody except my disturbed mind. My parents took me to a pdoc only after a family friend warned them of my weird thoughts (I was a chosen one, hidden cameras in the house, coded messagges in the media etc...a classic paranoid delusion) but they knew that something was wrong b/c is not normal left job (and not get a new one) and girlfriend out of the blue...or maybe for them was normal. Anyway I think it's schizoprhenia b/c I'm always been a bit paranoid but I hope to have no relapse. I'm trying to restore the relationship with my ex but it's hard. She thinks I left her b/c I wasn't in love anymore but it's not! I really can't explain what's happened during my psychosis, I was in another world. I left the real world not just her...
  3. Hi I'm 31 years old and I lived my first psychotic episode 6 months ago. I had many delusions (grandiose and reference but not hallucinations) and during this period of madness, I quit my job and left my girlfriend (11 yrs with her!) and my friends. I isolated myself completely (even my parents gave me boredom). When my parents finally managed to force me to see a doctor, he diagnosed me a psychosis (not specifying the nature but I think it's schizophrenia) I was under antipsychotics for 3 months and finally now I feel better. During my recovery I realized how much damage I've done and how much pain I have caused to my gf and friends. Now I'm alone. I can't explain why I left my girlfriend, I just know that I was powerful and I didn't need her anymore. I didn't want anyone around. I just wanted to live my delusional daydream. My pdoc says it's normal, during the psychosis, push away people people we love because we want to be free to live fully the psychotic experience and the emotions are distorted. In fact, during that time I felt good and felt I didn't have love for anyone, just for myself. Now i feel guilty, and idiot, and alone. I want my ex back but now she's afraid of me. She loves me but she's afraid that it will happen again and I can not blame her, when I was psychotic I said horrible things to her. What I want now, it's only reconstruct the life I destroyed...but HOW. I lose everything during the illness...
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