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About soulgr4ffiti4rtist

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  1. I feel like I'm in a sort of mixed episode right now. I feel watched and followed and like my privacy is constantly invaded. I just want to run far far away and scream for everyone to leave me alone. I'm getting Shadows telling me horrible things will happen if I eat so I'm afraid to eat anything and I know that's just adding to my anxiety. I just want help but I have to make it to my Dr appt and then I hope something will work fast. I just want to retreat from all stressors and rest...I can't sleep longer than about 20 mins at a time. If I wasn't so afraid of drs I would go to a hospital or something but I don't know what they would do. I want to just take a week off of work (until I see my Dr) but I can't put that kind of stress on my coworkers...there's only three of us... I just need safety and I feel like everything and everyone is dangerous
  2. So far we're just starting the combinations approach...that's why when I got a suggestion of Zyprexa and Abilify I figured I'd come see what others have to say and maybe suggest it to my Dr. I'm just concerned about the side effects of the Zyprexa (sleepiness, weight gain) but it's supposed to be really good for anxiety and paranoia I think.
  3. Hi guys...so I had a suggestion from a comment on a vlog I did of someone suggesting I ask my Dr about switching to a combo of Zyprexa and Abilify. I currently take Risperdal and Abilify (along with Lamictal and Effexor) and the cocktail is NOT WORKING I recently started the Abilify at 5mg, then 10mg and I seem to be rapid cycling with a growing amount of paranoia and anxiety. It was suggested by the commenter that the Zyprexa will help the anxiety and some of the psychosis I'm experiencing (voices, shadow people, paranoia) and the Abilify will keep me from falling asleep all day and help with negative symptoms associated with my Schizoaffective Disorder. Please give any advice you have about either or both of these meds... I can't see my Dr any sooner than the 15th and that is about 6 days away. We have tried, and maxed out, pretty much every other antipsychotic out there and nothing lasts for long. We tried Zyprexa alone about two years ago but I COULD NOT FUNCTION....I was falling asleep trying to work, drive, etc. Not good. Don't know if it would have taken care of the symptoms had I given it a longer run, but I couldn't lose my job and so I dropped it. Anyone try it and had the sleepiness go away after your body got used to it, like a few days or so?? I'd like to try it again as I've heard some good things...other than weight gain which is hard for me as a recovering anorexic...ugh. I need feedback pwetty pwetty pwease
  4. Woke up today feeling like my brain found a new order and clarity that hadn't been there in a few months...little bounce back in my step, easier to smile naturally... Crossing fingers that this is just the beginning of something good. What are the first things you guys notice when a med starts kicking in?
  5. No weight gain for me, though I haven't gotten weight gain from any of the meds I've taken even though others say they're terrible for it. My main side affect is drowsiness
  6. Hey guys I need your help! The past week and a half or so I've been getting progressively more paranoid and it's getting to the point I have panic attacks as I get ready to leave the house for work. I don't feel safe at work and am so stressed that I block out the majority of the day and have no idea what I do. When I shower the Shadows start chattering just quietly enough that I can't make out the words but I feel threatened by them, and they scramble my thoughts as I try to work. My pdoc just added Abilify 5mg to my meds in addition to Risperdal 3mg, Lamictal 200 mg, and Effexor 150mg. Have any of you had success with Abilify reducing paranoia? How soon might it work? I'm really struggling to get myself out of the house and to put in a day at work. I cry on the way there and usually on the way home too from the fear. I feel like they're plotting to capture me for experimenting. I don't know what for but I feel like they will keep me. Please help! Thank you so much!
  7. Sorry guys I don't mean to say the Abilify would be a prn med...we're adding it to my morning meds to take regularly to help with some stubborn psychosis the risperdal isn't knocking out on its own. Also, I call it depression but my pdoc leans towards it being negative symptoms I'm struggling with too, so I just wonder how it will work for these things and how soon I should know if it needs more tweaking... Thanks for the responses!
  8. I get this sometimes and when I explained it to my mom she asked me why it mattered because what could I possibly be thinking that would be so bad for other people to know about, ya know? I explained that it felt like a vulnerability thing, like they were intruding on my personal space by capturing my thoughts...she didn't get it. Is it like that for you? That it doesn't matter as much that they know your thoughts themselves but that it is more a feeling of being naked in public? That's what it feels like for me. More an invasion of privacy. Very difficult for me to deal with because I am a very private person to begin with. A lot of my delusions start as feeling an invasion of privacy since it is such a sensitive topic for me. A few months ago there were men working on the roof of my apartment complex and I was sure they were leaking bugs into my apartment that were little bots meant to record me. I was terrified to take a shower or change my clothes until I scoured every corner to make sure there were no bugs. Unfortunately I was hallucinating small bug-like specks that would dart around so I was sure that was really happening. Our mind creates dreams based on the things we are trying to figure out in our life, but a lot of times it's in metaphor...same with psychosis, from what I've found. In psychosis it's like your brain is using the creative metaphor of dreams but you're awake and it continues and builds daily rather than ending when you wake up. If you can't see a psychiatrist then maybe look into Cognitive Behavior Therapy either in self-help books at a library or book store or even online. That can sometimes give you tips on how to retrain your mind. If your thoughts start hindering your functioning in everyday activities like work/school, personal care, social engagement...then please please seek medical treatment. I hope the best for you! Please comment how you've been doing if you see this response -I really care to know and would be happy to keep in contact. Delusional thinking is not something to try dealing with completely alone, ok?
  9. So...my current situation is that I'm starting to get breakthrough psychosis on my current meds and my pdoc wants to add something to the mix. I'm on Effexor 150mg in the morning, then Risperdal 3mg and Lamictal 200 mg at night. We don't want to up the Risperdal any more because it gives me a hard time waking up for early shifts at work. Right now she's added Abilify 5mg to take in the morning and it's only been four days but she also talked about maybe trying geodon or latuda. Both of those need to be taken with food to get the most out of them and I also happen to be a recovering purging anorexic so to eat that much first thing in the morning totally freaks me out, so that's why we settled on Abilify as the first option. So I just wondered if anyone could tell me their experience with Abilify, specifically if taken in the morning, and if it was taken along with an additional antipsychotic at night how the doses worked for you. I struggle with negative symptoms a bit and hope that an additional med could maybe help with that as well...any experiential advice on that topic? As many probably do, I've been stuck experimenting with different doses and combos for the past three and a half years since the beginning of my treatment only having a few months of stability at a time...I keep holding out hope that the next change will be "the one"...so any suggestions would be so so appreciated. I know meds are so individual, but the slightest direction would be encouraging. Thank you all so much!
  10. I took Saphris for about 8 months and it was great to start with. I was probably hypomanic but it cleared my thoughts and brought back motivation and joy in my everyday activities. I was still experiencing psychosis at 5mg-15mg...20mg seemed to finally help with that. After a time of building stressors in my work environment I started dealing with growing paranoia and some hallucinations again and we upped it to 30mg, all at night because it was very sedating. That dose started giving me an odd reaction with my vision getting locked onto things (hard to explain) and we had to switch things up yet again Saphris was the longest running med I've felt good on and kept my depression away which has yet to be accomplished since. So over all great for mood stabilization, but slightly less effective at keeping psychosis away permanently. Other than the otherwise unheard of reaction with my vision I experienced no side effects at all. I really miss this med and have thought about asking to try it again... I know this initially was posted a few months ago...hope things are doing alright for you!
  11. Hello all...new to posting here... So my pdoc prescribed Saphris for delusions and paranoia. We started at 5mg, then 10mg, now she wanted to up to 20mg but I got too groggy in the morning for work so we're trying 15mg for now. Anyone have experience with how long it takes for the paranoia and delusions to fade? Right now I'm really struggling because I'm afraid my therapist works for The Shadow People and is setting me up to get captured or killed...I'm afraid to go see her because I can't get it out of my mind that she's a danger, and she used to be such a comfort but something just switched over to paranoia about her being connected to the Shadows and a past abusive person that threatened to kill me. I NEED THESE THOUGHTS TO END - IT'S SO MENTALLY PAINFUL TO HAVE NO SAFE PLACE ANYMORE!!! I feel in danger all the time and it's exhausting. Should I just go straight to the 20mg and just deal with the grogginess so that the meds can get rid of these painful thoughts? Or does anyone have experience with lower doses working out for this? Help!
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