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About sugarsugar

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  1. So far I have had 5 job interviews for 3 jobs and am waiting to hear back, so no idea what’s next. Two more people are leaving the job I left, also due to toxicity and bullying. That makes me feel like it wasn’t just me, and I was asked to talk to HR and tell my story so they could investigate. I didn’t, I don’t trust it not to backfire on me. I feel less stress in one way, but more financial stress especially since this triggered another spending episode. I could put up with some crap but not being written up and all that. I looked online and apparently quitting disqualified me for unemployme
  2. Oh if only. I can tell you I used to do positive affirmations and visualization. I totally avoided any negative language and made gratitude lists. This was before I tried any meds at all. I did do some self help CBT like reframing and that had some helpful aspects but all my gratitude and positive thinking and substituting a positive thought for every negative one, well, that didn’t fix my depression no matter how diligent I was. Nowadays I am not depressed but have a few more down moments and yes some positive thinking helps slightly elevate my already decent mood. That’s not at all the same
  3. I have never found one useful for me because I can’t seem to figure out how to make it work for what I’m experiencing. But I know they have been suggested to me and my pdoc requested it but finally gave up on that plan. Does tracking help you? Can you recognize trends or warning signs? Maybe I’m not self aware as much as some but they don’t seem to accurately describe what I’m feeling. The idea was that I would see a manic trend but no. Maybe a trial week without would give you an idea, unless you see it’s too helpful to risk that?
  4. I have been collecting seemingly important things for a year now. Oh sure, food, and still have lots of toilet paper from stocking up last year. But some stuff I bought and never opened, for whatever reasons. Now I’m unemployed and have time to go through things. Seems I was expecting a bad winter because I am opening snow removal stuff, too bad it’s spring now. Found some cleaning gadgets I don’t know how to use. But I opened some accordion folding thing I can’t figure out. That will take further investigation. Why do I get these things and let them sit? Anyone else end up with mystery item
  5. That’s a good question. How important is it that someone be vaccinated, is it an absolute? Or is no intention of ever getting vaccinated a dealbreaker? I have wondered the same but I’m not in a position to actually pursue online dating yet; I would probably bring it up early on but maybe not in a profile, because someone might be actively trying to schedule a vaccine but not successful yet. Is it bad to want proof or is that going too far? So many things are already awkward, this doesn’t help the whole meeting new people situation. But I do hope you find someone compatible.
  6. I wonder if some people just aren’t as inclined to reactions. My mom finished both doses without reaction to either dose, which was my experience, but my sister-in-law had a fatigue reaction to dose 2, niece had no reaction. Go figure. I’d still have rather had a reaction than Covid, I’m very afraid of covid.
  7. I guess when I have the feeling that I need to buy something immediately because it could become unavailable, or because I just need to do this right away, or suddenly I am thinking of all the uses I would have for this thing, those are warning signs to back away and come back later. Any sense of urgency around buying something is a warning but I usually ignore it and proceed, which is what got me here. I am no longer employed so hope I can get this under control.
  8. I am now unemployed, which I think was necessary. I think? Or was it a hasty hypomanic decision? I think they were building up to be able to fire me. I’ve since learned that someone, not me, filed an anonymous bullying complaint and I believe they thought it was me and wanted me out. But I suppose I could have stayed and just kept my mouth totally shut while I looked for another job. I decided to quit and gave notice the very next day. Refused, politely, to discuss reasons in a private meeting with the same two who wrote me up. So hard to know if I made a wise move but don’t think
  9. Deja vu here. In August I got angy at a manager type after some near bullying, and got written up a day later, a day after over 2 hours of being “spoken to” until I called out bullying. Supposedly people had complained about me, but I was pretty sure it was in retaliation over the bullying accusation. That blew over, I thought. But then last week I asked a question in a meeting—required now, no one is allowed to be silent. And again, called in by the same 2 managers as one said she was sensitive, and took the question as an attack. WTF? It was a question about how she wanted something done, n
  10. Since she can’t see us, my manager doesn’t seem to think we look busy enough so keeps adding tasks and we are on deadlines for some things plus must attend more and more meetings with attendance checked. So I’m sort of forced to do more. Aside from pressure, I tend to get things done because I can be a lot on my own time schedule. And I don’t have coworkers to talk to, although I do text with one work friend. But if I’m caught up I don’t have tons of motivation to do extra.
  11. Don’t I wish that were the case. Wish I could but I’ve proven I can’t. Has it been studied? I don’t know but it’s been observed that mania doesn’t seem helpful in the long run, I think. A lot of us would like to control mania somehow but doesn’t work that way.
  12. Goofball, that is the story of my life and my main regret. I have spent so much, bought so much. It’s way worse when manic or towards manic but finally my pdoc said I need to work with a therapist to learn to recognize triggers or whatever, warnings, and find ways to stop. Plus I’m on lamotrigine and abilify. Is it better? Well, better to some degree but not entirely. I have no one to manage my credit cards and at any rate could still use a debit card and drain my account like I did pre credit. So it’s on me to try to work with this tdoc and learn any skills I can. I have learned to identify
  13. I used to enjoy daily showers but now I don’t, not sure why. I do have to go to work briefly some days so for that, I shower. Otherwise, I try to set days, like every 3rd day, and I do it. I do feel better afterwards I admit. I especially hate washing my face and sometimes use wipes now, wonder if using wipes would be easier for you? Seems easier to me than getting wet, and yes that probably makes no sense except to me.
  14. I used to be more light sensitive when I was depressed and yes light therapy helped. At one time I had big lights and sat there 30 minutes or more. Years later I had very small lights and used them way shorter times. I saw a difference but I guess not only is everyone different but type light setup, time of day and duration will factor in. I do think it’s worth a try based on my experience.
  15. I think my reply is too late, but for anyone it might help—for both doses, I had no side effects, not even a sore arm. Usually with vaccines I get a sore arm, but not with these. I have 5 coworkers who also got both doses. One had a headache, two generally felt tired for a day, one felt wiped out and hot and itchy for a day. The other felt like she was coming down with something for a day. They all expected to feel worse. I had Moderna if that matters. I hope your husband did fine after his dose, I know a lot of people are waiting to hear how everyone does.
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