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sugarsugar

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  1. My first thought is that it sounds like this site is geared toward hookups for sex, and you’re responding to profiles with pictures that indicate that’s their intention, too. That’s fine if that’s your intent, but if it is, maybe hobbies aren’t their main goal, regardless of what they list. I was on those sites so I know I wasn’t looking for a relationship then. So, what is your goal (casual sex, close friends plus sex, love of your life, etc) is the first thing to figure out, and try to pick a site/app that matches your goal. I suspect it’s a mismatch that’s the main problem, not you. Also, does your profile reflect what you want/who you are? Maybe they are reacting to that as well, do you think? I’m sure meeting people in person would be good but that’s not always so easy, especially in a pandemic. If you can, great. But I met a lot of nice people on dating sites, and learned a lot. People can lie and misrepresent, true, but not everyone is doing that.
  2. I live in the middle of a big city and we have raccoons and coyotes. Raccoons can claim your yard as territory and will defend it. I read a piece on how to scare off s coyote if it approaches you but I’m skeptical. I don’t trust wild animals at all. Of course we also have squirrels, but my dogs chase and sometimes catch and kill them so I wonder how they’d react to a raccoon or coyote? There are a few possums as well but I think they’re harmless? No turkeys however, never heard of that.
  3. Some people seem to be in serious denial and get their news from Facebook. I’ve heard it all. It frustrates me but at least my immediate family is vaccinated and as far as I know where masks in public. I’m afraid to ask my niece exactly what she does. This really drives people apart and I’ve had to tell a coworker I don’t want to talk about it because we’ll never agree. It’s harder with family especially when they affect others. Is your sister likely to dig her feet in more if she feels pressured? I think that’s part of it for some. It’s very selfish thinking but way too common. I hope your sister changes her mind.
  4. I know you may have resolved this by now—but some meds do contribute to nightmares. For a while I had a lot but no idea why. My solution is to always actively make myself forget all dreams immediately when I wake up. Does that totally help—no, but it helps a lot. I try to think immediately of something else to sort of force it out of my mind. To me, it seems like forgetting them all has really helped and I’m left with a sense of “nightmare “, “nonsensical “, “not bad”, etc instead of the lingering nightmare taking over my waking time. Does that sound ridiculous, I hope not. I throw it out in case it helps you or anyone. Nightmares are something underestimated but they were awful for me. I hope you aren’t still having them.
  5. I wasn’t diagnosed as bipolar until things got really pretty severe, because I didn’t “look manic “ on the outside. By that time, it took months to get down to earth and I feel I’ve never gotten totally back to normal in some things. On meds I can avoid the near bankruptcy and impulsive things but I’m still “me”. I would say being unmedicated for all those years let things get worse over time. The trouble is, when I’m at manic or hypo manic point, the worse it is the less I want it to stop, and that creates wreckage. I don’t recommend waiting until things get extreme to medicate, because at the moment you may not want to, and there’s often fallout from episodes. That’s my take from my experience, I know I hear some people who think they can control bipolar but I don’t think so. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
  6. I’m thinking I’ll wear a mask when I go out. It’s required still at my job, but that’s still mostly remote for now. I don’t trust people to be honest about being vaccinated. It could get awkward.
  7. For me, amitriptyline made me so dry—I could barely speak. It wasn’t a good drug for my system but I won’t catalog all my issues in case it’s different for you. It was on the sedating side but other TCAs were better for me—not good enough but better. So maybe one will be better for you. If you tend to dryness, maybe not the best, if that’s an issue for anyone but me.
  8. Glad the experience was ok. I prefer wearing a mask so idiots don’t tell me to smile. For all they know, I might be—but I’m not. Masks give me freedom.
  9. At one time I switched Drs because of this. She kept telling me I was depressed and overweight and exercise would fix both. I switched to someone who took me seriously, always, and checked things out. Unfortunately, she just recently retired. I’m hoping my new Dr listens because I do get legitimately sick at times. The worst was a neurologist I had to see once who absolutely dripped contempt over my bipolar diagnosis. For all he knew I could have had a tumor or aneurysm, but why bother to check. So wrong, and getting in to be a new patient with someone you get a good recommendation on isn’t easy, I’ve found.
  10. At one time I was married. But he decided I was crazy, among other issues. For many years after that, I dated no one. Eventually I had some dating experience triggered by manic episodes so not exactly based on solid ground. Now I’m in a sort of situation vs relationship, that sounds better than it is. I tell no one of my MI and if I went back on a dating site I plan on not mentioning it. On one hand I’d love to remarry to have someone to count on. But I don’t want to have to give up my privacy or have to be that vulnerable. So there you go. I can work ok, but romance isn’t something I understand much. Sex, yes, romance, not so much. Is that normal, good, or any other label, I couldn’t say, it’s just what I’m dealing with. I don’t trust many people so that’s a factor. I do envy people who have been married forever and seem happy together but it’s just not my life. And everyone is different so if someone doesn’t want that, it’s not my business and I respect it. I can only speak for myself here.
  11. I am sorry for your having to go through this. One plant suggestion is something shallow like creeping thyme. It would cover over and provide a nice environment to my thinking, just a thought after looking at mine. I’m still dealing with my dog’s death so I totally relate to the grief aspect. I find it harder to get over pets death than humans. It’s good your therapist seems to understand.
  12. I used to do this at great lengths. After years of it, I progressed to actually buying things. I think when I was able to shop online it got easier to actually buy things, and since then I’ve really struggled to control this. I do sometimes still just put things in the cart and leave them but often the sites send me reminder emails to buy. I do find if I can walk away I may not end up buying later. I guess I have more credit than income so I’ve been able to rack up huge debt at times, and I would think switching to buying would be the big risk. I have never felt all the shopping and choosing was a problem, just the purchasing that came later. For me, it has seemed a bipolar thing to buy but can’t really say the shopping is, at least in my mind. I’m not sure if it’s something to try to stop although I did spend a lot of time on it, still do, I guess. Is it some sort of MI if you don’t actually buy? I don’t know. I’m probably the last to say. But I share the habit, that I can say.
  13. So far I have had 5 job interviews for 3 jobs and am waiting to hear back, so no idea what’s next. Two more people are leaving the job I left, also due to toxicity and bullying. That makes me feel like it wasn’t just me, and I was asked to talk to HR and tell my story so they could investigate. I didn’t, I don’t trust it not to backfire on me. I feel less stress in one way, but more financial stress especially since this triggered another spending episode. I could put up with some crap but not being written up and all that. I looked online and apparently quitting disqualified me for unemployment too. And when you apply for jobs you can’t trash talk the previous boss, no matter what. I hate that but I follow the rule. Maybe someone else could have kept the job, just don’t see how I could have.
  14. Oh if only. I can tell you I used to do positive affirmations and visualization. I totally avoided any negative language and made gratitude lists. This was before I tried any meds at all. I did do some self help CBT like reframing and that had some helpful aspects but all my gratitude and positive thinking and substituting a positive thought for every negative one, well, that didn’t fix my depression no matter how diligent I was. Nowadays I am not depressed but have a few more down moments and yes some positive thinking helps slightly elevate my already decent mood. That’s not at all the same thing but I think that’s the experience of those who swear by positive thinking. If only I could have gotten it to fix my severe depression I would not have wasted years of my life. I can only assume those people mean well and are speaking from their own possibly slightly depressed experiences. Or maybe it works better for some, who am I to say. Bottom line, it didn’t work for me and I definitely gave it my all.
  15. I have never found one useful for me because I can’t seem to figure out how to make it work for what I’m experiencing. But I know they have been suggested to me and my pdoc requested it but finally gave up on that plan. Does tracking help you? Can you recognize trends or warning signs? Maybe I’m not self aware as much as some but they don’t seem to accurately describe what I’m feeling. The idea was that I would see a manic trend but no. Maybe a trial week without would give you an idea, unless you see it’s too helpful to risk that?
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