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  1. In AA, I asked many people to be s sponsor and they all refused because it was too much work and responsibility to take on. So I’m not sure if everyone would really want to be asked, despite it seeming like an honor to be chosen to others. Mostly I agree that someone shouldn’t take offense at not being asked and should and probably wouldn’t. I think it’s good you found people you can talk to. Sounds like you made a good sponsor choice, too. I hope it all continues to work for you. I know 12 step programs were great for me—and I was in a few.
  2. I can totally sympathize. My (ex) husband relapsed when we were still married—and that contributed to the end of the relationship. It sucks to lose someone that way.
  3. Glad things are better now. I had a long haul too but am also now much better and I appreciate your message. I, too, find a routine helps—it helps to hear you say it too so I stick with it. I hope things stay good for you. And yes I have the anxiety too, but better.
  4. I know at my job if I said I had to work 7-3 one day or as an alternative, work 9-3 one day, and stay over 2 days, 9-6, to make up, they would allow it. But other jobs—not a chance. Also now I can do a limited amount of work from home but not until I’d been there a while. I do think going in with some options you’ve thought out will give best results and show you value the job. I think it could work out, from what you say, so I hope it does.
  5. My brother has always been the strong, healthy one, but now has an aggressive and resistant cancer which has metastasized to bone as well. I have seen people deteriorate from cancers and it’s been terrible. We’ve never been close but have no real conflicts either. My other brother is more slowly deteriorating from long term chronic disease and now kidney failure. At least mentally they are intact. I’m sorry your experience was so difficult. But otoh, my father died without warning and I had no time to prepare, so maybe this time to prepare will I ultimately be helpful. I do have friends I can talk to, no one professional but friends. Thanks for your reply.
  6. I feel I may be starting to grieve before deaths have happened. I have 2 brothers. One has a serious chronic medical condition and probably will not survive more than 2 years, certainly not imminent death. The other brother just told me they expect him to live less than a year, at best. And my mother is quite elderly, although in good health. I’m starting to grieve over losing all 3, but they are still here. I keep telling myself to stop but it sneaks up on me. Is this just the natural response to expectation of upcoming deaths? I mean there’s no reason to expect them to die sooner. Maybe this is how people process? Most deaths I’ve experienced have been unexpected so this waiting is new to me. Any experiences or thoughts?
  7. I wonder if since someone works 8-4, could you do that, or even 7-3, or possibly 8-5 one day to make up for a 9-4 day on your appointment day? A 9 hour day plus a 7 hour day, to even things out? I am thinking maybe if you give them those options it will show you still intend to make things work and do the job. Or possibly be the first morning appointment with the therapist, if they could start early, and then work? I’ve had to do various workarounds for appointments but never on a regular basis. And I’ve never told an employer my MI issues. I know some do, but I don’t even tell my friends so don’t totally go by me. Still, I think we have a right to privacy. I hope they work with you on this.
  8. I’ve found you can google some and read reviews but of course you can’t count on them entirely. I might call around to the offices of ones you’re considering and ask if they have some sort of online or printed bio or statement of philosophy or such. You might want to think of a few key questions and see if the nurse or assistant could answer them, since I doubt most Drs will be up to taking time for a prospective patient to screen them. Also you might try going in to take a glance at the office setup and check the vibe. At least for me, if certain things are all wrong, forget it. You can also get recs from insurance companies if you have private insurance. Or do you know any nurses? Often they know which Drs are or aren’t good. Not sure if any of this helps but it’s what I might do.
  9. At one time I’d have said no, but then I had to do video assignments for school. That changed my views and now I’d try it. Two things I’d say that I learned about video that maybe everyone on earth but me already knows—I did better with a cheap portable webcam so I could be seen and heard better, instead of my laptop stuff. Also I learned to test my equipment in advance after failed audio led to a non-meeting. The other thing is that if the person looks at your image instead of the camera, it comes across as no eye contact. Again, I’m sorry if this is painfully obvious to everyone but me already. I mention it because for me in a therapy situation it would matter. Anyway knowing that all I would try it if I had the option. Interested in how it works out if you try it.
  10. That’s good that you are seeing a difference. I hope the a1c is all good. I stress over mine but it’s definitely more helpful.
  11. I’m in an HMO so a different situation but my pdoc has a nurse(who does what, I have no idea) who has responded to my calls or emails when he can’t. My previous pdoc didn’t have that but had a secretary and a tdoc in the office. If a phone message or email doesn’t work, is there anyone else, like a nurse, in the clinic? You might try asking them how best to proceed. My HMO has a secured email system so I’ve been able to communicate a lot that way. I think it’s probably not deliberate ignoring you and probably there’s a way to get through. I’d ask about it when you see him next if time allows.
  12. That is a very strange thing to write and I wonder if it was a dictation that wasn’t transcribed right—but the interaction you had does seem strange, too. I don’t know what to make of it. You went in with a legitimate concern and got neither plan nor reassurance. Honestly, in my opinion the normal thing would be to chart why you came in , your BP there, and a plan to recheck in future. I’m not sure what to make of that sort of useless care. I would be annoyed at best.
  13. My HMO no longer takes cash or checks, only debit or credit cards. Not sure why. I do question an entrance fee aside from that. I used to never use plastic, now my life revolves around it and not for the better I suspect. Definitely proceeding with caution like you are seems wise.
  14. I really do best with a routine especially around sleep but other things too. I have a new job and parts are usually the same but parts are unpredictable. I rarely know when I’m going to eat, which throws me off. As a result I’m not doing as well. I do get time working alone and time I need to be with people and sometimes I don’t want to interact. I have no unexpected guests and meet friends outside of my home, rarely. I need lots of alone time or I get exhausted. I will get sick if I have too many changes so I try to keep things stable so I can be well and stable. My personal thing is cooking shows, especially baking but not the haughty chef type. They are mindless, need no attention and aren’t stressful to me. Sounds strange maybe but especially if I have to act professional all day watching people bake cakes is perfect. So yes, I feel tied to routine, wish I weren’t.
  15. I was not on any psych meds and only diagnosed with depression—actually, may have been on tricyclic ADs back then, now that I think about it. It was years ago and considered an alternative use of the suppositories, now they use oral I think and mainly did then, too. This was all considered alternative but it worked so well for me. I was actually afraid of the euphoric feeling because of the crash later. Keep in mind it was many years later before I got a bipolar diagnosis. But food for thought if you are interested in another experience.
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