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Everything posted by sugarsugar

  1. I got 3 names from my tdoc but 2 aren’t taking new patients. I chose the other as my new PCP but honestly I wasn’t that impressed with the bio she wrote on herself. I browsed through listings of possible PCPs taking new patients in my HMO and noticed most by far are pretty young, therefore not super experienced. I prefer someone in practice a bit longer and a bit older although obviously don’t want another who might retire. I read through the writeups and few reviews and hope I made a good choice because I sure don’t like the one they randomly assigned me to. The whole “not taking new patients “ is really a limiting factor.
  2. I was depressed from childhood on. I took so many meds. Finally on abilify and lamotrigine combo and not depressed in a long time. I will say that I probably had some unrecognized bipolar issues although I felt depressed throughout those times. At any rate I had been told some people are just depressed and treatment resistant and was offered ECT, which I declined. Nothing worked until this and honestly it feels like a miracle. So I tell people in case anyone else can benefit somehow. Also abilify hasn’t affected my weight or appetite. I still have weight issues but not any worse. Actually I had been on abilify plus some AD and it did help somewhat but for some reason I didn’t like the idea of it or some such thing. I hope it’s helpful to you. I was into my 50’s before my depression got treated right, if that helps.
  3. I hope that’s a solution that works out for you. And hope the new job works out.
  4. I am very skeptical of these claims plus future privacy concerns. My family is very sold on them but I am not very trusting.
  5. I am not a psychiatrist but I wonder if severe depression is making you think of this more which leads to more depression? Not a diagnosis but I think talking to a pdoc or tdoc could help maybe with meds. I know it is very distressing but it sounds like no harm happened and you have suffered a lot. Anyone can do things they regret, especially when they are young. And I agree, a Christian God would forgive you, and allow you to move on.
  6. Totally makes sense to me. It’s hard to lose a pet of any kind and I admit I have the ashes of my cremated pets. I’ve never buried a deceased pet but think I too would not be comfortable, cremation seems what I would choose too. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard no matter what.
  7. Apparently my PCP retired, no word to me, so guess I am in the same boat. We’ll both have to figure it out I guess. I asked my tdoc for some names.
  8. That’s a good question. My current pcp is listed as not available so I don’t know if she’s left the HMO or what. My problem is I get treated like a whiner or complainer when really I am the opposite, plus with MI I think I get blown off, so if I have to see a random dr it’s not good. How can you tell in advance if you’ll be taken seriously? I think asking my pdoc and GYN might be a start, if that seems helpful you might consider a similar approach.
  9. I used to have to use the scales and I always said I had no clue, which was true. Finally my pdoc just gave up on it. Now the clinic uses what I think is the PH-9 with slightly better questions butI still struggle. The 1-10 baffled me. I never got clarification so that’s a good idea. Now i get asked about manic symptoms and that’s hard too. I don’t do well at those scale things at all. Could you say you experience x, y z and be ok? Who thinks these things up anyway?
  10. I have been there almost 2 years and got glowing feedback until my angry outburst. Since then it’s been up and down.
  11. I’m so confused. First, I was in trouble at work for speaking in anger and frustration. Then that seemed all forgotten somehow. Then I was told I got a small extra raise, and would be trained to do my boss’s job just in case she got ill. What? Such a disconnect. Then I had a bad fall and injuries and had to say I can’t do a small part of my job, takes 1-2 hours/week, for a couple months while I recover, although I can do everything else. She said she would report me to HR for that. I can’t understand why. So I feel like I am getting mixed messages here and feel very insecure in my job. One day all is well, next day I’m in trouble or at least in bad graces. And I have enough trouble of my own without all that. I don’t know what to think.
  12. Maybe not, I don’t think the story is unique but if it was, it was long ago and as I said, I was very messed up, too, so you were not alone in having problems in that house.
  13. I’m not very organized so that would be really hard. Maybe knowing you need a ride will get you a couple days more, I hope so.
  14. I was diagnosed several years ago with no testing at all, and I doubted it as just a trendy diagnosis. But meds did help me. Years later my current pdoc said he very much doubted the diagnosis but after a year or so he changed his mind. No testing, just working with me. It’s a balancing act with the bipolar meds but it works and without the concerta I accomplish nothing. So if you feel strongly, I would consider persisting with discussing it and see if you get anywhere. That’s not helpful maybe but I think ADD in adults gets blown off.
  15. Don’t I wish. But no. I can get on the point of being around the midpoint of moods but manic, it all goes to hell.
  16. My manager wants me to talk to the mask refusers about “tell them how that makes you feel “. Seriously? I don’t think it’s about my feelings, it’s about my safety.
  17. I see this thread is now old. Finally one cube neighbor is out sick from chronic health issues pus working remotely and the other has agreed to mask if I’m around. This took months to get to. Apparently the rules are that if you sit in your cube masks aren’t required but many use standing desks and are heads above the walls which seems worse. I can’t believe I’m even still having this discussion. I mask, use s conference room, and stay home when allowed. And I’ve been told to “have a conversation about my feelings “ about masks. Really?
  18. I knew, just knew when he could he’d say covid was no big deal. Those people who died? No big deal. Don’t let it dominate you. What I can’t understand is why that makes sense to someone. I was waiting for him to wnd up in ICU but instead he got care my insurance would never cover. Now to pass it on to the butler and housekeeper who can’t exactly refuse to work. I won’t say how I really feel but having had jobs where I was exposed to things, because I needed the job, I know how trapped you can be. Honestly, what is wrong with this man? No consideration for others at all.
  19. My recent tdoc appointment was a video fail. I did all the troubleshooting and finally called in and had a phone appointment. Better than nothing I guess.
  20. I can wear a mask but a couple guys at desks around me won’t, so the reverse. Can’t understand why employers can’t work with us so we can be protected.
  21. Since it had been 2 months since the last visit, this seemed unrelated. The video wouldn’t connect so we reverted to phone. We mainly talked about my recent snafu at work, which wasn’t my intention but that’s ok. Next appointment in 2 weeks and hope for better.
  22. OK session 2, after 2 months, is tomorrow. I barely remember last time. No idea how this can work but I will try to work with her. I read the materials she sent but remember almost nothing. My next appointment is in 2 weeks so maybe I can build some momentum. Seems an ineffective system but I’m trying not to prejudge.
  23. I found my time from working different shifts and finding the time that seemed best by chance. Then I found how key it was when I worked nights. So I don’t have a system to make this work for someone else I guess—did you ever have a schedule that worked well for you? I had a clock that had a sunrise feature but found it annoying. I did better getting up and using a SAD light for maybe 5 minutes, very unscientific I know. I really rely on getting up on time so I can have a day. I wish I could know how someone could find their personal time.
  24. I can tell you my experience but having doubts it will apply to many. For me, I discovered when I worked nights that I have some sort of biorhythm that demands I be up by a certain hour or my body resets and wants to be back in lengthy sleep mode again, and I suffer trying to wake up or stay awake. For me (and likely specific to me), if I get up between 5 and 6, it’s difficult for about 10 minutes but then I’m awake all day and good. When my job changed and I had to get up at 9, I suffered and wanted to sleep all day, and did when I could. I found my set time sort of by chance but I’ve had to go back to it a few times and the first few days or week are hard to do, then I am good. Using a SAD light during the crossover time has helped when I’ve done that but I haven’t always. I can tell you getting up the first few days seems impossible and misguided but then it’s like a switch is flipped after a few days. If you decide to try this, which I don’t expect, I have no idea how someone finds “their time”. I do know I can’t sleep in nor do I want to, because it messes me up and makes me sleep all day. And I do still sleep 8-10 hours now. If this helps anyone I am glad but I realize for most people they just don’t see it for them.
  25. I haven’t had so much that exact experience but have had extreme “depression attacks” where I felt like it was hopeless and I didn’t want to exist anymore but didn’t feel actively suicidal. It’s been a while since I’ve had those episodes and if I never have another I’ll be very glad. For me, knowing that I’d had them before, and likely paired with my not having intent or plan, saved me. Usually when those happened I was already pretty depressed to start with, I haven’t gone from feeling good to feeling like that. But honestly lamotrigine seems to be a life changing med for me and I haven’t had a significant depression on it. Who knew that was even possible. I hope your events phase out as you continue to feel better.
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