LindaMarie64

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Lamictal, Buproprion, and now (as of 6/20) Buspirone.

I've had sleep issues for about 10 years. Did a sleep study. Mild apnea. Tried all sorts of masks. Felt claustraphobic. Prior to 2006 i used to be able to sleep so easily. I wish i could go back into time...

I've never done LSD and would not encourage ANYONE who has a severe mental disorder to try it. Please don't go that route. You sound like you might be in a manic state...your paragraph sounds rambling. Talk to your pdoc about this.

I've been on medication since 2007 and my doctor says my meds are working at full capacity. So if my bipolar disorder is being managed, why do i still have sleep problems? Am i going to be on Ambien/Lunesta/Lorazipam/ for life? Did anyone experience a remission of insomnia once you were treated with bipolar medication?

Why is it that when i forget to take my morn medication, i always feel better?

That lamictal based rash is of grave concern. Its the one side effect that mean some people cant tolerate it. Do some research on lamictal side affects and inform your pdoc of your information.

I saw this and was very encouraged.

thanks, everyone, for your input. Much to think about...

Pippa, I certainly understand a lot of what you are going through, especially doing what HAS to be done and then crashing at home and doing little else. I battle this all the time. However, I don't think your life is pathetic...you are doing quite a bit without the benefits of stablyzing medication. You deserve a medal. A couple of thoughts....Have you ever considered joining a local NAMI group near you? It's the National Association of Mental Illness. Google nami.org. They offer a lot of support for people like you and I and the loved ones of people who battle MI. You might find some useful information on the latest treatments for Bi-polar or people who really understand you and allow you to feel comfortable venting. Sometimes we just need to be heard. Also, your husband might find support through them. They offer programs designed just for family members. It might be worth checking into. The other thought is pulling your GP into this. Have you had a recent physical and the necessary bloodwork? Just to rule out any other issues that might be going on in addition to the bi-polar. It sounds like you might have some Anxiety issues going on as well. If you have decent health insurance you might want to look for a GP who offers Coordinated Care. This is a physician who works in a clinic setting with quite a few other health professionals and is the "hub" or link that ties everything together that is specific to you. So, if you need cognitive therapy, for example, a CC physician would work with a therapist or a nurse practitioner within the clinic and have instant access to the outcome of your treatment. He or she would be the main source of information for your patient care. It's kind of a holistic approach to health care. Try to give yourself some grace. You are doing a LOT in spite of being mentally ill. Not everybody can do that. i'm glad you found this site. There is a lot of knowledge here to tap into and a lot of good information. Hang in there. There is hope.

Possibly. Sleep is such a high priority with me. I don't sleep deeply even with all the stuff i take. I am planning to talk to my NPrac about going back on lithium. It worked wonders but then i started loosing a lot of hair. that kinda scared me. It seems like its a never ending cycle of changing this...tweaking that...sigh. This has gotten so old.

I'm trying to figure out if i should finish school to get a full time job or just accept my limitations and pursue some form of financial disability aid. Right now I work as a independent commercial/residential cleaner. I have enough clients to work about 20 or so hours a week. I'm in the Allied Health Program at my local community college to earn my phlebotomy/clinical lab assistant certificate taking 16 credits. (I know, 16 credits is insane.) I had to drop the phlebotomy tech class because i was drowning under the massive amount of schoolwork. I passed Clinical Lab 1 and now i'm trying to pass Clinical Lab 2. My alcoholic husband left me and my 2 kids (ages 18/20) last September to work in CA with a woman with whom he had an affair in 2007. So i am basically functioning as a single mom trying to stay positive and well to provide them with stability that they deserve. So far, i haven't missed a mortgage payment; my husband is still helping out financially. But the house is a huge responsibility to maintain. It's large, it's old and the backyard is a jungle. It's in need of so much work, i don't even know where to begin. The one plus side to my husband moving out is that i now rent out his office to a local student. Her rent pays for half my mortgage. I need to work full time at some point so that i can get insurance to cover meds, dr visits, etc. But i am still struggling with basic life skills at this point. How in the world am I going to get myself to a job 5 days a week, when i can barely pull myself out of bed because i'm so drugged out most mornings from my medications? Some days just taking a shower is beyond my capability. I don't eat healthy and getting regular exercise is a complete joke. Am i giving myself an excuse to be a flake? Or is this just the way it's always going to be? How does one set realistic goals while battling a serious mental disorder? I really welcome anyone's input.

Tired and a bit drugged. Took 2 lorazepams at 6am. Definately sluggish.

okay, first things, first. Relief for the insomnia is key to get everything else stable. Two months without proper sleep is way beyond what a person can handle. I didnt see a sleep aid in your list. Have you tried either Ambien, Lunesta or a benzodiazaprine, like Lorazepam? Seroquel at lower dosages, like 200mg can relax one enough to sleep, especially if taken with a sleep aid. Secondly, are you going thru this alone or is someone with you? Because what you've described is absolute hell. Is it possible for you to go to a walk-in clinic, or an ER department at your local hospital? If I were experiencing this, i would need someone to listen well to what you are going through Does the Adderall stimulate you or is to to calm down your thinking? I hope you can reply. I am deeply concerned with your post and want to help if i can.