A little backstory: Last fall I was admitted into detox for alcohol and they said my behavior looked like bipolar. I was definitely manic based on what I remember and what I have read. I went into therapy after detox and got dx'd "Alcohol Induced Bipolar". They said I couldn't get a real diagnosis until after I've been sober a year. I had communication problems with my first pdoc so I switched and the second one diagnosed me Bipolar very quickly. Too quickly if you ask me. Like, "Read your file, you're bipolar". Anyway, I've been depressed for about 6 months, sober for almost 8.
My last few weekends have all had similar themes. 1. Social gatherings involving my girlfriend and her family/friends. 2. Alcohol and/or drugs (them not me). 3. Being surrounded by people who know at least some of the details of my fall (alcohol detox/potentially bipolar). 4. Being surrounded by people who are much wealthier/successful than me. 5. Being in situations that should be fun and relaxing, but aren't to me.
So yea, my girlfriend spilled the beans to enough of her social circle when I went to the hospital that everyone I see on weekends has a little bit of my most private information. Why did she do that? She needed support from her friends. I understand that to a point... but not to this point. Everyone knows. I mean like 50+ people. If not from her then through the grapevine.
I am extremely self-conscious of both the detox and the MI and I'm having an extremely difficult time enjoying these situations. I'm also bothered by the alcohol and drugs... I'm not bothered that they're doing it. I'm bothered that I can't. It makes me feel like an outcast. Those issues combined make my weekends borderline miserable. BUT they're my only social outlet at this point. Being depressed for this long, I haven't been good at filling my own social calendar.
I'm not sure what I should do at this point. Does anyone have any advice on how to enjoy social situations with borderline strangers that know you have mental/addiction issues?