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La La LOLocaust

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    Gooseton, Goose York
  • Interests
    Existential nihilism.

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  1. I was on vraylar for about a year, probably. it calmed me down significantly but did not get rid of the creeps or the paranoia so i am back on zyprexa. I really feel like it's the best med for me.
  2. Incidentally, I also have no friends. I have a wife, but zero friends. I don't crave or desire friendship. I isolate myself pretty severely. Barely ever talk to my sisters or my family, except my mom and I are very close.
  3. I meant no offense. What I mean was that the perception of the diagnosis, in my mind, is similar to the perception of heroin, while being an opioid, is somehow categorically different than other opioids (it's not. and by the way, heroin is not illegal everywhere. In Canada it is used routinely for end-of-life care for things like cancer, sold under the brand name Diamorphine). Before I was diagnosed as having schizophrenia, I was diagnosed bipolar NOS and I never thought much about it. My perception of my new diagnosis is that it's somehow more severe or more of a big deal. I feel like even more of an outsider now. I'm afraid my family will look at me differently. I told my mom and she said it made her "very, very sad." Do you keep your diagnosis a secret or tell people close to you so they understand any odd behavior?
  4. I worked in pharmacies for years and can honestly say I never heard anyone make kind of special request for any particular brand of clonazapem. They'll look different but in terms of how they function it'll be the same, except it'll look different. An Analogy: I know in my heart of hearts that Orijen is the best dry dog food money can buy, so I buy that, and if Orijen changed the bag tomorrow to include Comic Sans font, I'd still buy the food. The point is that if the med works for you, in all but a very small number of special cases you won't notice a difference between generics. That said, if you truly feel you do notice one, tell the pharmacist and ask for another brand. it's a common request and usually is accommodated, especially in independent pharmacies.
  5. I saw my doctor last week and made a big stink about carefully going through all the weirdness I'd been having (for years). After a thorough discussion, my diagnosis was changed from Bipolar NOS to paranoid schizophrenia. While I was absolutely not hoping for that diagnosis (although it came as no surprise to a girl I lived with and loved for 10 years), what I've said all along was that I'm not bipolar. (well, for the past few years I've felt that way). So in that sense I feel validated. In another sense, is it weird to feel like a dx like schizophrenia seems like a "big deal?" I liken it to heroin vs prescription opioids. Even though oxymorphone is stronger, mg for mg, than heroin, heroin feels like a "bigger deal" because it's just "different" (especially now). I am back on Zyprexa, weight gain be damned, and feeling better already. I was on vraylar. Great for depression, not-so-great for the weirdness, at least in my case. So now that that it's officially a new dx, what kinds of coping strategies are there, if any?
  6. Gabapentin definitely eases some depressive symptoms. It's a wonder drug for anxiety. They really need to look into this med more in clinical trials because it really, really can do amazing things for some people.
  7. Absolutely it does. Also, it definitely quells my drug cravings because i just feel....fine.
  8. I have a new pdoc. I just saw him on Saturday. Last week, i got severely agitated and 1. broke both of my e-cigs and 2. pulled a solid oak table apart with my bare hands. It absolutely terrified my fiancée. A few days later I had calmed down and decided I'd dig out my old Zyprexa 7.5 mg tabs. (side note: I've gained about 12 pounds in a week). So, I saw my new pdoc. As some of you may remember, I had been having supposed paranoid delusions and other assorted psychotic symptoms, but never told my pdoc in 11 years because I thought those things were normal. I really laid it out for my new pdoc. New Dx: Bipolar disorder with psychotic features. He said if my mood stabilizes and the psychotic features continue for at least two weeks I'd have a schizoaffective dx. I feel validated, but I'd rather not have these things continue after I stabilize. He increased my zyprexa to 10 mg and agreed to write for zyprexa zydis, which my insurance paid for. tldr: I flipped out and am back on zyprexa and my new pdoc added psychotic features to my BP Dx. So, my question is about zyprexa zydis. Does anyone have experience with both zyprexa and zyprexa zydis? Does it really cause less weight gain, or am I doomed? Supposedly it has something to do with bypassing the serotonin receptors in the gut and thus cause less appetite stimulation and carbohydrate cravings. So, can anyone speak to this personally?
  9. I was a little bit wondering the same thing since I recently was put on a 2nd AAP. But the reality is that if you're functioning and your symptoms are under control you're probably in the right place. What I mean by that is, you should trust your pdoc's call as long as you're doing well. That's what really matters, after all.
  10. My diagnosis is Bipolar NOS, but I mostly have severe depressed episodes. Not getting out of bed, zero motivation, thoughts of suicide or dying. Things like that. I haven't tried many SSRIs (only zyprexa/prozac combo, actually) but may be going that route soon. The only things that have ever worked for me are antipsychotics. I have insisted my pdoc keep me on antipsychotics because when I am taken off of them, I crash hard. Hard. Fits of extreme rage, profound depression, breaking furniture, punching things until my knuckles break (seriously) and things like that. The thing is, I'm an adult now, so people can call the cops if I flip out. SO they keep me on AAPs. Saphris lifted my depression tremendously, and it's about half the cost of Latuda. You might have luck wth Abilify, Rexulti, or Vraylar. One last thought. Since my depression is considered treatment resistant, my pdoc put me on Requip. It's a dopamine agonist. It really helped. It's sort of pooped out on me but I still take it. Without an antipsychotic I just can't. But Requip was tremendously helpful. That or Mirapex. Ask your pdoc about those. Your pdoc will undoubtedly say but it'll cause mania beehhhhhhh" so you might suggest adding Keppra along with the Requip or an AAP.
  11. Without a sedating AAP I won't sleep at all, ever. Depressed episodes keep me up at night because I tend to half-sleep all day, and manic episodes make sleep impossible I'm currently on Saphris on top of Vraylar. When I started Vraylar I practically stopped sleeping altogether. What a mess. Saphris puts me to sleep in 10 minutes. Have you given Saphris a try? It's profoundly sedating. You might give ASMR videos a try, too. Those helped me sleep a little bit when I was not on the Saphris. I suggest the youtube channel WhispersUnicorn. So soothing.
  12. That's a heavy combo, but my advice is if it's working, stick with it. No sense in meddling where it could potentially be unhelpful or worse.
  13. I'm currently on Saphris and Vraylar, but I think it's temporary. Will (hopefully, if insurance will cover it) wind up going up to the max dose of Saphris and dumping the Vraylar. Vraylar worked like a miracle for me, but the insomnia was so severe I had to call it quits. They dropped me from 6mg to 1.5 mg and currenlty a modest 5mg of Saphris but it's working wonders.
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