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Posts posted by Lexie

  1. On 5/18/2016 at 4:22 PM, wasps said:

    I wouldn't recommend shoplifting. if you get caught you'd possibly be in the hands of the police, and sometimes they aren't the nicest towards the mentally ill..


    I'm doing it multiple times a day. And getting brave enough to do it even while I know I'm being watched by suspicious employees. And relying on it for food even when I have other viable options, just because it's less effort sometimes. ...And more fun.

    Still not caught yet.

  2. 8 minutes ago, xanathos said:

    Do regular hallucinations become pseudohallucinations when a person becomes more aware of their illness (schizophrenia in my case) from being on meds and therapy? Or are they still regarded as regular hallucinations? The definition of pseudohallucination I have seen is basically a hallucination that is recognized as unreal. When I hallucinate smoke or voices I now know it isn't real but sometimes I'm still unsure. Which is it?

    i have no idea, and i think it's sort of arbitrary?

    from what i've read there are a number of people who meet schizophrenia criteria based on hallucinations + disorganisation, with no delusions, and they usually are aware they hallucinate as well (while those with delusions often aren't)

    not a terrible lot of them, but they exist

    so i'm not sure it's actually a meaningful distinction? i mean, if you can still diagnose from it either way...

  3. 9 hours ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

    Never mind. 


    I already read your post. I'm sorry if I gave you the impression your input was not wanted, or that your experience is not relatable to mine.

    It's true that I don't typically experience consummatory anhedonia to nearly the same degree as I do anticipatory anhedonia, but it's not as if I've never lost interest in things I should or used to enjoy, either.

  4. 7 minutes ago, Wooster said:

    It sounds like a cognitive filter/bias called jumping to conclusions then confirmation bias.

    Learning to check facts against thoughts is a skill a lot of people often find helpful in these circumstances, even though it's really hard.

    Low mood generally does strengthen cognitive biases. 

    yeah, it's annoying because i'm usually wrong, and i know i'm usually wrong

    if i can start doing something a lot of times it'll turn out good and i'll be able to keep going and doing it, and similar things, for a good while

    but once i stop it's not long before the thoughts of "it probably won't be worth it, just don't bother" come back and weigh me down

    am i supposed to just force myself to keep doing things anyway?

    god, it usually takes me at least an hour after waking up just to get out of bed, sometimes two or three... how am i supposed to force myself to do more complex, less necessary things than that?

  5. i have trouble trying new things unless someone i know (and preferably am close to) recommends them

    even things closely related to stuff i've had positive experiences with in the past

    i can try imagining trying The Thing and i just end up imagining that it'll be boring, or won't work out, or whatever

    so i generally end up not even bothering

    and then in the rare event i do bother and i turn out to be right, i get even more discouraged and it gets even harder

    the upshot of this is... well, i usually just end up doing nothing. a lot of nothing. repeating some routines and otherwise occupying myself with my thoughts and music, because music doesn't require any attention or focus. and i cannot muster attention or focus if i don't think something is going to be worthwhile.

    i'm assuming this is probably related to low mood (?) so i'm posting it here.

    anyone have any tips?

  6. Odd as it may sound, I think it's possible to have both homicidal desires and harm OCD.

    OCD isn't terribly rational, and if you perceive something as bad or a threat for basically any reason, even just some of the time, it can potentially fuel OCD.

    I say this because, uh... personal experience. With both. Overlapping.

    edit: To clarify, this was because the reason behind my harm OCD wasn't "harming people is bad," but more specific to the form of harm and what it implied about me as a person. Basically, there were reasons I should not take certain harmful actions or think certain thoughts about harm. But I still wanted to harm people, I just had to do it in very specific ways or it'd violate the rules laid out for proper behaviour as dictated by my obsession.

  7. Not a doctor and (probably) don't have PTSD, but, from what I've read:

    Go with someone you trust and have an anxiety PRN, and maybe go to similar buildings when possible in the days leading up to that (preferably with someone you trust, and maybe even taking an anxiety PRN beforehand) as exposure therapy.

    Trying not to avoid the trigger and keeping yourself feeling as safe as possible while still being actively triggered is the best way to teach your brain the trigger isn't a real danger.

    But, it's probably going to be difficult on you, and depending on how strong of a trigger it is (and probably lots of other factors) you may or may not be able to unlearn it enough in that time to enjoy the party.

  8. i know i have sadistic tendencies, but that was never formalised/finalised as a distinct psychiatric condition

    narcissism is a distinct condition, though, and... well, look at my signature

    i literally view myself that way and i'm pretty sure i'm not manic, i just literally think i'm above 99.999% of humanity and my word should be taken as divine decree

    i don't know...

    obviously i'm not going to tell any therapist or psychiatrist anything about this, it's not like i want "help" with it, so


  9. I think it depends on your dose and how long you take it, as well as your individual chemistry.

    I've taken a couple SSRIs for a few months and then quit cold turkey with no problems.

    On the other hand, when I stopped gabapentin after taking it for just a week, it took almost two months to really become relatively stable again. And most people don't get withdrawals from that.

  10. For the gender field, having "trans male" and "trans female" as separate options from "male" and "female" is transphobic.

    Adding "cis male" and "cis female" would still be transphobic.

    Any trans person who is willingly identifying themselves in that field is transphobic (surprise, internalised prejudice exists).

    Trans is not a gender and does not describe or modify a gender. It is a medical condition. Medical conditions don't belong in the gender field.

    All these things holding true, those two options should be removed altogether.

    My $0.02.

  11. i wanted to just kill myself

    i wanted to just kill myself and get it over with

    i honestly don't know if it would have stuck

    i sort of suspect there was some sort of gaming of the system, some bending of the rules of the many worlds interpretation, to ensure my survival after previous attempts

    if it was willfully done by some conscious intelligence, it was probably my own, sitting back there, refusing to really die

    that's what people are trying to tell me when they say clearly i don't really want to die

    my methods were fine, the only thing that kept me alive was some sort of twisted desire to live

    to live on and

    i can't think

    my head is going blank again

    i'm sorry

    i'm sorry for embracing the darkness within me

    just to protect myself

    ETA: once again...

  12. 4 minutes ago, Gearhead said:

    It isn't a double-edged compliment in this case. I genuinely think that the world would lose something without you.

    I don't mean backhanded, I mean double-edged.

    It's meant as a compliment, but the 'positive' quality it is asserting also has or implies considerable drawbacks.

  13. 5 hours ago, Gearhead said:

    Lexie, if nothing else, the world would be much duller without you in it. I hope you get what you need and feel better.

    That's, um... Well. I have been told I'm "interesting" as some sort of double-edged compliment enough times to be used to it, I guess.

  14. 4 minutes ago, Sloane said:

    I misread, and I see what you are referring to. I used 'their' in that sentence not as a gender pronoun, but as appropriate determiner because I previously mentioned HB. Your concern, although misguided, is noted. I have absolutely no intention in misgendering or degendering any member, however it is inappropriate to discuss, with you, another members preferred gender pronouns when they are not online to reply.

    This is a peer to peer site, and although having an educational understanding of an issue or medication is helpful, it is not required and we don't ask for it. Peer experiences go a long long way, and giving advice on personal experiences would be more helpful than researching a topic you are unsure of.

    I personally know someone who experienced a great improvement of alexithymia after starting Abilify, without showing any such pronounced improvement in other symptoms.

    That's about all I can say, honestly.

    Also, you can stop playing high and mighty. You were in the wrong, and I don't care whether he's okay with it or not, because honestly, he's a he, and even if he'll let your degendering fly, it's extremely offensive to me for you to get defensive about that. You did something wrong. Own up to it or keep your mouth shut.

  15. Just now, tryp said:

    I'm not sure what study you're referencing - if so, that's certainly good to know and I'd be interested to read the paper.

    This one: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3998960/ addresses this issue and does find that even in the long term, Abilify and Zeldox cause less weight gain than the others.

    Oh, thanks. I was sort of surprised when I read that, and it's good to know it may not be totally accurate.

  16. 2 minutes ago, tryp said:

    Weight gain with antipsychotics is multifactorial - they do increase appetite, the sedation can lead to physical inactivity, but there are also metabolic changes that make weight gain more likely independent of changes in diet and exercise.

    However, Abilify is one of the more weight neutral ones.  The worst offenders (in order) are clozapine, olanzapine, and quetiapine.  The better ones in that sense (in no particular order) are aripiprazole/Abilify, ziprasidone, and, newly, lurasidone.

    The evidence shows that diet and exercise are the best ways to prevent antipsychotic induced weight gain so you're doing all the right things.  And Abilify isn't nearly the worst offender.

    The best way to avoid AAP weight gain according to the literature is to do those things and monitor your weight.  If by some chance you do gain an unmanageable amount of weight, you talk to your doctor about changing medications.  You may not gain any, though - like I said, Abilify isn't known for it as far as I am aware.

    From what I read recently, a study actually found that in the long term, all antipsychotics produce about the same weight gain, but some put on the weight more slowly than others.

    I don't know how that works, but it's worth looking into/confirming/disconfirming, I think.

  17. 2 hours ago, cryinginmoscow said:

    I'm on a diet and a exercise 3x a week but I want to know what causes abilify weight gain? Is it just because it increases your appetite and you eat more? I'm scared if I take it I'll gain like 5 pounds out of nowhere or I wont be able to lose weight anymore.

    I think it works sort of the opposite way as stimulants. So, it both increases your appetite and decreases your metabolism.

    Even if you ate the same amount you'd probably still gain... I think.

  18. Just now, Sloane said:

    Where did I misgender? If I did, I will apologize to HB and edit my post.

    The treatments for Alexithymia are based on the condition/origin of symptoms and thus can be quite broad. That is why I felt identifying the symptoms as Alexithymia wasn't helpful. 

    If you have advice on specific treatments for these type of symptoms of Alexithymia, that would be greatly helpful :) 

    Degender. Using gender neutral pronouns when you know someone's gender can be... um, problematic, since a lot of people will do just that as a way of avoiding properly gendering someone while also not explicitly misgendering them.

    I know at least some of the treatments relate back to the associated conditions, such as schizophrenics experiencing more alexithymia when they're actively psychotic. However, I'm not an expert on any of that, so.

    I could look into it, though. Maybe. If my brain stops trying to fry itself.

  19. 10 minutes ago, Sloane said:

    Identifying the symptoms as Alexithymia doesn't help the OP treat the symptoms nor create scenarios to help improve their quality of life.

    To start with an aside, I don't know if you just forgot/didn't notice who OP was, but degendering him is sort of bad. Frankly. Even if he finds it acceptable (maybe, maybe not), quite a few trans people really wouldn't, so unless he explicitly told you so, um, yeah.

    As for the may point, it may. Believe it or not, there are some ways to address/treat alexithymia (though I don't know much about them), so if that's what it is, it's possible that alexithymia treatments could also help with the appetite, satiety, and eating problems. That is why I offered the idea.

  20. 1 minute ago, Sloane said:

    I think you are missing what I am trying to say, Lexie. I'm not trying to make claims, not trying argue with you, and not discussing Neurology with you. I am not trying to be confrontational, nor am I trying to be aggressive.

    The only thing I want to convey is that whether or not the OP is experiencing Alexithymia is not the issue at hand, and not helpful to the OP in what they are asking.

    If you have any advice or experiences to share on the topic, it would be appreciated.

    I'm challenging that notion and asserting that it most likely is, in fact, relevant to the discussion at hand. If you would stop challenging me on that point, maybe I wouldn't have to keep informing you of exactly how misguided it is to claim otherwise.

  21. 31 minutes ago, Southern Discomfort said:

    Well I have Asperger's so too much with anyone and I'll be begging them to leave me alone for a while. What's your condition then? Borderline? Regular depression?


  22. 3 minutes ago, Sloane said:

    Your understanding how Alexithymia works and how it is connected to ASD is quite awry. Remember where you are... we are talking about the Autism Spectrum (and related Neurodevelopmental Disorders) and how it effects missing/interpreting physical sensations. In no way is it acceptable to invalidate a members experience of ASD symptoms by simplifying the details and then redirecting conversation to what you believe is appropriate. 

    You could "pile about a hundred more studies" on Alexithymia and how it *enter the point you are trying to make here* but all hundreds of them still wouldn't make a bit of difference in this topic. This topic is not about what you think is going on, but instead how to help it.

    No one is ganging up on you. If you have any helpful ideas or answers to the OPs questions, you will find a lot more appreciation versus hostility.

    Oh, is it.

    I'd like to see some evidence of that, rather than your baseless claims.

    And your direct contradiction of when OP specifically said it wasn't about the physical sensations. Except that it is, apparently. But then it isn't again.

    Make up your damn minds. About 50% of people with ASD are severely alexithymic, almost all of the rest are moderately alexithymic, and I believe it's somewhere around 5% who are actually in "normal" range for identifying their feelings. You can tell me that isn't related all you want, but all it's going to do is make you look argumentative and uninformed.

    Well, to me, anyway. I'm sure a number of people reading this will just try to tone police me, as is so very common. Not that anyone with alexithymia (or an ASD, probably) would be able to navigate the differentiation between their feelings, my intentions, and the validity of my claims--low emotional intelligence coming with the territory there, and all.

    Well. Not that my emotional intelligence is fantastically high, either.

  23. Assuming I'm correct about this being related to alexithymia, i.e. the condition of being unaware of one's internal signals (that's what feelings are), having a clue what the cause is might be helpful in finding a way to address the problem.

    But sure, gang up on me... but if I'm right, it won't magically make me wrong, even if it does give you some weird short-term satisfaction.

    ETA: By the way, eating disorder patients show heightened levels of alexithymia even compared to many other psychiatric patients (https://jeatdisord.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/2050-2974-1-21, and I could pile about a hundred more studies on top of that one). From what I've read, the correlation seems to be causative, as well.

    But hey, none of my business, apparently.

  24. Just now, Southern Discomfort said:

    Spend a few weeks around anyone might annoy you. 

    Usually not to the point you refuse to ever speak to them again and beg them to leave you alone when they suddenly show up unexpectedly one day.

    Which has happened to me twice. Lol.

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