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Everything posted by Lexie

  1. Oh, is it. I'd like to see some evidence of that, rather than your baseless claims. And your direct contradiction of when OP specifically said it wasn't about the physical sensations. Except that it is, apparently. But then it isn't again. Make up your damn minds. About 50% of people with ASD are severely alexithymic, almost all of the rest are moderately alexithymic, and I believe it's somewhere around 5% who are actually in "normal" range for identifying their feelings. You can tell me that isn't related all you want, but all it's going to do is make you look argumentative and
  2. Assuming I'm correct about this being related to alexithymia, i.e. the condition of being unaware of one's internal signals (that's what feelings are), having a clue what the cause is might be helpful in finding a way to address the problem. But sure, gang up on me... but if I'm right, it won't magically make me wrong, even if it does give you some weird short-term satisfaction. ETA: By the way, eating disorder patients show heightened levels of alexithymia even compared to many other psychiatric patients (https://jeatdisord.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/2050-2974-1-21, and I co
  3. Lexie

    I exist.

    Usually not to the point you refuse to ever speak to them again and beg them to leave you alone when they suddenly show up unexpectedly one day. Which has happened to me twice. Lol.
  4. As it happens, all of those things have an extremely high correlation with alexithymia.
  5. oh my god

    oh my god

    oh my fucking god

    stop it stop it stop it you are all driving me up the fucking wall

    why can't a single one of you stop being a complete idiot for five seconds

    why am i the one who has to take care of fucking everything around here

    everyone is constantly in crisis and i am the only one who cares enough to reach out and try to help

    and i'm fucking awful at it

    1. Lexie


      i want to die and no one cares


      none of the people who know me

      can spare a single word of support

      they just push me the fuck away

      until i start to believe that going away is what i'm supposed to do

      until i start to believe that disappearing for good is what i should do

    2. Lexie


      i  k n o w  i t  i s  m y  f a u l t

      i  k n o w  i t  i s  w h a t  i  h a v e  a s k e d  f o r

      i  k n o w  t h e  o n l y  p e o p l e  i  l e t  c l o s e  a r e  t h e  o n e s  i  c a n ' t  r e l y  o n

      b e c a u s e  t r y i n g  t o  b e l i e v e  i n  s o m e t h i n g  b e t t e r  s c a r e s  m e

      i ' m  s c a r e d

      i ' m  r e a l l y  s c a r e d

    3. Lexie


      i'm doing all these things...

      i'm doing all these bad things...

      because, deep down, i really want...

      ...to be punished

  6. I'm not hijacking your thread. It's a universal predisposition of yours. You reject all attempts to help. Your signature reflects that quite well. Define "hunger and satiety". Are we talking about the physical feelings (pain, etc.) or are we talking about the internal feelings (appetite, etc.)? You're getting extremely squirrelly about that and trying to have it both ways and neither way simultaneously, so let's get this out of the way. Give a straight answer.
  7. Either you're lacking a pain response/signal, or you're lacking a satiety response/signal. The former implies antinociception, the latter falls along similar lines to alexithymia. You're suggesting some third distinct category of signaling which, I'm afraid, does not seem to exist. I strongly suspect your desire/expectation to not be helped is clouding your judgment.
  8. Nonsense. Internal and external pain use the same nerve pathways and brain regions. Any distinction you wish so desperately to make is imaginary and does not correspond to reality. And this is why I'm tired of you. Am I mirroring your (displayed) feelings well enough yet?
  9. Because you're deliberately pushing me away and using nonsense arguments against me (no such thing as internal pain? I know you're not really that stupid). I may or may not be wrong, but whether my answer is right or wrong isn't what you're looking for. You are pointedly telling me that I am wrong, regardless of the correctness or incorrectness of whatever it is I may say, and it is quite obvious. You have a habit of doing this with everyone and you know that very well, so don't pretend this isn't about you and your attitude. This is why you acquired that borderline label.
  10. i think this might be related to alexithymia maybe (not sure) but i don't really know anything you can do about it either way, there's not much research into treating alexithymia and if that's not it i don't have a clue but if that's a starting point for you at all?
  11. Again today. i guess I'll just give in and let it become a habitual behaviour. Why not, right?
  12. why did you leave again...?

    1. Lexie


      if i'm not important then

      why am i alive

      if i'm not important to you then

      why do you want me to live

  13. Does anyone else have to be, like, really careful about who they make friends with, etc., because of the chance they'll start picking up really nasty characteristics from them? Like, I seriously just absorb everything a lot of the time, and... well, one thing I absorbed from this girl back in December was her shoplifting habit. So now I'm a shoplifter. That's also actually how I first started cutting and binge drinking, as well--though my eating disorder and stimulant abuse stuff I picked up on my own, at least. And yeah, I mean, I also pick up good behaviours/preferences from people
  14. If you really want some correction, I could go on about the more recent studies finding that therapy is effective in treating delusions (but not hallucinations). Lol.
  15. psychosis is a common feature of bpd (studies have found about 50% of bpd patients experience at least some psychosis) and also i've seen no evidence that meds help much with bpd psychosis; and some evidence suggests the underlying mechanism in the brain isn't quite the same for all psychoses, and thus antipsychotics only work for the typical schizo/bipolar psychoses (and maybe some epileptic psychoses? not sure) and not psychosis from other causes, or even "atypical" schizophrenic psychosis (this may be the reason some are "treatment-resistant"--they aren't caused by dopamine excess, whi
  16. why do i feel like i'm about to freeze to death? it's in the 60s outside and i'm in a heated building... but i'm so cold

    1. Lexie



  17. Because it's not like Wonderful.Cheese has picked fights with me before or anything. Nope, not at all. But it's wonderful to know you'll take sides with the aggressor. Not like I don't have that in my life enough already.
  18. Cheese, you've been hyperaggressive about this from the word go. That shows your judgment here is questionable at best. It "basically doesn't exist" in that it's pretty much equivalent to childhood-onset schizophrenia, i.e. it's really fucking rare and when it's diagnosed it's likely a misdiagnosis of something else. If you want me to find more professionally-written articles corroborating that the loosening of diagnostic rules and subsequent widespread misdiagnosis is responsible for nearly all modern diagnoses of pediatric bipolar, I can get them for you, though they're not studies.
  19. nah, it's not familiarity it's the fact that what i feel now is real and the positivity experienced by most people, considered "healthy", is a lie a lie which makes it easier to keep going even though you really shouldn't, even though none of us really should
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