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Everything posted by Lexie

  1. I don't know about this board, but recent studies say about 50% of people with borderline personality disorder and no comorbid psychotic disorder experience some psychosis, and that there are usually still some psychotic symptoms even outside of stressful periods. It's supposedly similar in content but less severe than in primary psychotic disorders (schizophrenia, bipolar). Also, borderlines are more likely to have persecutory delusions and hostile/critical voices, but that seems to be part of the more general negative predisposition found in BPD. Personally, I hear voices occasiona
  2. I can definitely relate to the changing names and none of them feeling like they're really mine. I actually already used different nicknames a lot over the years and only used the name my parents gave me when I had to, for similar reasons to yours, but not sexual. Now I just sort of feel like I can change names as I please, as if it's a fashion accessory and not really something personal. I think I prefer it this way, as well.
  3. Well, I've wanted to change it for a while, because I started to feel like the one I chose is too common But there is an actually very much conscious element along those lines as well It's sort of hilarious how much I squirm at the end
  4. Sometimes I believe I'm the heroine who will protect everyone from the darkness of this world, especially those closest to me. Other times I believe I'm the tool of divine judgment who will bring to pass the fate of all the sinners of this world, especially those closest to me. Lol, I am so stupid.
  5. I decided I didn't like the last one I chose, so I want to change it again Somehow I feel like this is definitely not a normal thing to do
  6. I'm an atheist, and no one is beating me up I just really like to throw around the words "sin" and "sinner"... and "s" (and "a") words with negative connotations in general It's funny because even my Christian family never was big on the "we are all sinners" stuff, just me But thank you for your kind words
  7. I am desperate and have no way out, so you abandon me You don't try to help me, because you are sure you are inadequate, because you are terrified of your own flaws So you pretend I'm the problem, when it's really your own vulnerabilities you just can't let come to light Fuck you The concept of hell was created for people like you For every fucking sinner on this disgusting planet
  8. Of course. I don't think any diagnoses should be made that way. Lol. ETA: And this can be my response to you as well, OP. I am not only not qualified to make a diagnosis, but not at all comfortable drawing conclusions from your one post self-report.
  9. I disagree with this method of evaluation. It introduces an extreme degree of self-report bias and plain dishonesty, which I believe are primary causes of misdiagnosis (and missed diagnoses).
  10. I do not agree with the chemical imbalance hypothesis of depression, the concept that psychotherapy cannot impact biology, or the implication that major depressive disorder always requires a lifetime of medication. However, your points here are better articulated and qualified, and that is very nice to see. Good job.
  11. Correct. The efficacy of any given treatment or type of treatment neither proves nor disproves the existence of an illness, much less the existence of a biological basis for said illness.
  12. So it follows that if someone takes an antidepressant and doesn't improve then they must secretly be healthy?
  13. My mother neglected me a lot and wasn't consistently around. She finally left me behind and never came back when I was 14. My father was never really around. I had a friend in elementary school, I thought, but said "friend" eventually stole a lot of things and some money from me and then didn't speak to me again after getting caught. I never really had other friends back then. I had a friend in high school who was really reliable and always took good care of me even though I was so callous and sometimes outright mean, then we spoke again last year and I tried being more friendly
  14. I can't actually tell if it's only happening when I'm tired or nodding off or what, but lately I keep having these experiences where I'll see entire scenes, or I'll read things--generally visual stuff--and it'll take me a really long time to recognise it may not actually be happening. Sometimes it's really clearly not happening because I can read again and the words are completely different. Other times it's less obvious and I'll only notice because I realise I remember seeing something, but also that my eyes were closed or looking somewhere else at the time. But what really worries
  15. I don't think I'm prone to either. I'm suicidal a lot and tend to be very socially withdrawn, and sometimes I get sudden bouts where I'm absolutely terrified, but most of the time my mood is fine, and occasionally actually quite good. For some reason some psychiatrists seem to think this constitutes depression though. Or sometimes bipolar, depending on the clinician.
  16. I'm med-free. Lol. I do appreciate your input though.
  17. People who have seen it have actually told me it seems like I lost my memory, so I'm not sure that's the same thing? Though I have been like that too.
  18. I don't always notice it. But I have this habit of getting disoriented by my surroundings... or sometimes just specific things. Like clocks. In other words, I have a habit of being completely blind to my surroundings for chunks of time, and often I can't even remember what happened in the gap. What on Earth could I have been doing for that long? How did I end up two blocks down in the wrong direction when the last thing I remember is opening the door? And then the question becomes, is this psych or neuro? Exactly what is it that's wrong with me... (And why am I al
  19. I'm used to it It's not like homelessness just happened for no reason
  20. If you wanted to help you would help You just want to do the minimum you can to absolve your feelings of responsibility And when the inconvenience of that exceeds the inconvenience of knowing you did nothing, you'll do nothing Don't try to talk to me as if you're a good person Good people don't exist
  21. I saw her again yesterday This time everything went fine, I still got the impression she might low-key want rid of me a couple times but there was nothing direct or immediate about it And we actually touched on some important issues of mine as well So?
  22. Oh... I've been taking just actual USP progesterone, 200mg twice a day for 12 out of 28 days. Sometimes I think it's changed a huge variety of aspects of my personality and been a huge boon to my physical development, other times I'm less sure about the personality parts. I do know I have a lot of feelings and reactions I never used to, though. (My estrogen is 100mcg estradiol per day, from a transdermal patch.)
  23. I have straight guys not just trying to hit on me but actually trying to get me to go out with them long-term at this point. Apparently without any idea I'm trans. So yeah I'm sort of happy with my progress lol. When did you start P and what's your dosing like?
  24. I get derealisation on average a couple times a month and it very rarely scares me so YMMV I guess?
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