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Everything posted by Lexie

  1. I have borderline personality disorder on my mental health records so I'm pretty sure if I act anything but the perfect angel they'll see it as me being hostile and difficult etc. etc. So I end up patiently explaining my perspective on it and why I can't really answer those questions in a way I think they'll find satisfying Which is uncomfortable but usually works
  2. It is sort of off topic. I'm actually already sterile and all but still can't do it... Where I was born, that's just not a thing they'll do, how pleasant. And everyone always wants to know the precise details of my genitals, psychiatrists have even said it's "medically relevant" as an excuse and I'm just thinking "well, you're not a fucking gyno, so why are YOU asking" But yeah anyway
  3. I can't get my birth certificate corrected either, but luckily if/when I get a correct passport I probably won't ever need to use my birth certificate again.
  4. That really sucks. I don't know what happened, but the fact that this world is set up practically with explicit permission given to traumatise trans people is just... awful. And unfortunately, it isn't an option. I have the problem of people plastering it all over referrals and records, but also that my ID and such won't be corrected until next month. Maybe I can escape it after that. (As an aside, I don't know and have never known what gender dysphoria even is. It seems so nebulous and vague to me, like labeling something as "sort of a particular shape, and with a definite colour to
  5. For me it's sort of different I have more issues related to being a woman (like how I've had four different men either try to outright force themselves on me or keep insisting and intruding on my privacy despite all my protests just in the past month and a half) Than I do about how I'm LGBT I mean, being LGBT hasn't put me at risk of PTSD or STIs or anything, at least not so far But rarely does anyone ask me about that sort of thing They just ask about the uncomfortable but manageable reality of dealing with occasional bigots with a loud bark and zero bite
  6. Psych nurses, therapists, social workers, psychiatrists all seem to relate my LGBT+ status to my MI somehow, and half the time it's like it's all they want to talk about and I have to continually guide them away from it. And I mean, it really isn't related, like at all, except in that it's a source of psychosocial stress--but being a woman or a minority race or in any other disadvantaged group is stressful too and no one (that I know of) ever says "so tell me about you being black", you know? I'm not even sure exactly what connection they're expecting to find there, but having to rep
  7. My suicidal thoughts are usually like an hour, often multiple times a day... With planning and sometimes the setup
  8. We have an advisory right now If you go outside with any skin exposed you will get frostbite within half an hour Fun
  9. I picked the first word that came to mind and went with it I am very interesting
  10. I strongly suspect I'm immortal but I'm pretty sure it isn't a delusion And I'm not manic If that's relevant
  11. Lexie

    the alphabet game

    My name is Zachariah, and I'm going to Zimbabwe to zombify zealous zookeepers.
  12. You say that, but I wake up this morning thinking it really has happened and feeling silly for having overreacted...
  13. It keeps changing, but last I'm aware it was Bipolar I w/ Psychosis and Borderline Personality.
  14. I can feel the differences in shape with my hands too, sorry I didn't mention that. Otherwise I'd definitely consider the posture -> pain thing pretty credible for the touch modality. The sound accompanying the change in spine... I don't really trust myself to describe it accurately. It's been a while and memory is pretty suggestible, isn't it? This is embarrassing because I really thought my "psychotic symptoms" were something I was half-making up, half-exaggerating. Sigh...
  15. I have a really strong suspicion the consensus will be this belongs under psychosis, but... Over the past few days my face has changed shape really, really quickly--like, faster than modern medicine would even imagine possible. It seems to be mostly, if not entirely, from changes in the bones. Likewise, I've heard loud cracking noises from vertebrae and then my spine seems to just settle into a new shape, and won't comfortably bend back to the shape it was in before. It starts hurting a while later, too, of course. Considering how unprecedented this is in like... anyone's personal or
  16. And you luck out at #10... while I'm stuck at #28.
  17. I'm hedging my bets on full-body transplants. Get a trans man and a trans woman with no surgical and little to no hormonal treatment history, have them switch out bodies, suddenly everything's all good. Not that that'll help most of us here.
  18. I wonder if this is exactly what ISIS wants... If more soldiers enter Islamic countries, that will probably fuel the war machine on their end too, rallying more to their cause. Do people actually believe escalating conflict is the best way to solve conflict? Sigh.
  19. no, only a vegetarian, though i've been vegan in the past the person below me likes fishing
  20. I thought I just had social anxiety and didn't feel interested in school. I'm still not sure what was wrong with me or if it was even psychiatric. Maybe I just have a bad personality. ETA: I am officially diagnosed bipolar at the moment though.
  21. I tried it for my irritability issues. It did seem to improve my mood, but also controlled intrusive thoughts a fair amount, and pretty much completely eliminated my overt compulsions.
  22. It's a little more subtle with my grandmother, but she makes comments saying things like "Sometimes I think my second grandson is gay, but that must be the devil putting thoughts in my head," or "Trans women must just sleep with gay and bisexual men, what heterosexual man would ever sleep with a trans woman?" And considering I'm LGBT+ I don't know how she can think those sorts of comments are okay. Her attitude toward mental illness is less bad mostly because she's bipolar, though she still has really little empathy and does the whole "cutting is for attention!" routine when I end up
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