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About bigbangaz

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  1. Im doing now 3 times a week BJJ but i miss the boxing. I do also running 30min and swimming im an athlete but i dont want my cognition to be impaired. Can someone explain to me what is the connection between CTE and superfluous dopamine since dementia results in the inability of the mind to produce dopamine. Kinda hard to understand. Was my decission stopping the boxing after 1 years and a half doing it correct? I was training twice a week. I would really appreciate ur replies since noone really care about this thread or about me hhahah. Thank you very much
  2. well its been 2 years ive trained muay thai and bjj... last week i got my first concussion i went to the hospital and they let me out. im taking a break of at least 3 months from the muay thai and im only doing bjj. But i think ill reconsider the muay thai affair again since i dont want to get the CTE syndrome additonaly to my mental illness. i dont want dementia in early age.. but the muay thai kept away my violent desires.so i dont know what to think are there schizophrenics who train full contact martial arts... Im schizoaffective btw.. my docto was really reluctant for me to do this sport she told me u cant get hit in ur head but sometimes she give up on that.. i really dont know what to think. im an athlete i run i swin i dive i do martial arts, for me the sport is the only thing left for me to heal....
  3. I think iv been hearing voices during a manic episode internals ones but also voices with commands internal does it mean im schizo whatever plz answer me. Because during the conversations i thought i lost track where iam like i lost contact with realty with a lot of delusions of grandeur
  4. Ok so my sleep wasnt too good for a while i travaled to italy with my parents and i was keep thinking im the main charcter of a movie then strange things begun to happen it was like i was talking to someone for example my dad when he left i was keep thinking im talking to him then i had those non stop conversation in my head with people ive met in all my life telling them i dont wanna take ap dont like mt meds my life and blah blah. I think those conversations is ocd but i havent sleeping well sometimes i sleep 9 hours sometime 4 with sleep disturbances. Can someone tell me whats wrong . Is it normal having conversation in the head its new to me thats why i wanna throw the antipsychotic to rhe thrash dont wanna take ap they cause brain damge and td and blah blah im on lithium 900mg and seroquel 100. I think its bad staying a long time on antipsycjotic they can make an non psychotic brain psychotic. I was only manic when i was firat diagnosised and dont tell me mental illnes progress its the antipschotic that make it worse tell me y to stay any good reasons and ill conaider staying ive been shouting at home like an insane man keep screaming hitting on girls tring to conversate with anyone about my problems its like i think im in all the places atound the world exept where im right now when im writing this im laughing cause im in a conversation. Then im going jerk off again because i dont have any productive life with psychatric medications never dated a girl im a 30 years old virgin who never kissed a girl but went to a whore manic thank u.
  5. i dont know why but i have very short psychosis always when i feel my mood becomes too extreme like thinking im a prophet for me cannabis triggers also psychosis and im always afraid when im psychotic is it normal? when im manic i feel insane when i become psychotic i feel afraid. i dont know but i havent slept for 2 days although i took medications i became very irritated started screaming on my mother later on my doctor when i went outside i felt like my visions starts to become very sharp and people talking in the streets echoed in my ears then i look on people face and i was a little bit scared dont why started feeling paranoid got to a cab the cab driver calmed me down and i felt ok. when i got home i went to sleep and now i feel ok. i dont want to take antipsychotic its prescribed for body dysmorphic disorder that made me manic inititally but there were times i didnt care about the BBD.does short psychosis mean schizotypal? i dont was diagnosed for that too but The BBD made me manic so im definitely bipolar i was also a lot of time manic because of antidepressants which were prescribed because doctors thought i have something with schizotypal but that was wrong im bipolar 1 was diagonsed in the first place by a manic episode i had in college. Is anyone here not scared when psychotic what can i do to relief the stress instead of taking antipsychotics and why when i was a manic at the college in the first place my psychosis didnt last much its like i had grandiose beliefs but they ceased dont know why... any way wants to get off seroquel im on 100 mg dont like antipsychotic because of tardive dyskensia and all this shit brain damage im also on lithium 900mg
  6. Im bipolar i quit geodon 60mg without reducing dosage what withdrawl symptoms to expect im on lithium so i understand mania wont happen but i have strong ocd and i dont want medications for that my ocd is body dysmorphic disorder which cause me my first mania.
  7. so heres the story how i became bipolar and how my OCD became mania.when i was a kid i once shaved above my eyebrows alittle area of the forehead i dont know why i did that but it was a moment of crazyiness guys in my school saw the hair on my forehead and laughed behind my back and called me monkey i really regret that moment and i didnt know what to do when i turn out 20 i decided to electrolysis this part and when i was convinced there was no hair there the mania began i felt like i was the king of the world suddenly i felt a rush of confidence i was in the army and my behavior was rude and crazy so they had to let me go now that im on lithium and geodon 9 years later when the doc reduced the geodon from 100 to 80 i saw the hair came back and that really pissed me off but nobody in my family sees the hair on my forehead only me so the doc suggested i switch from geodon 60 to seroquell 100. i had another manic episode that doesnt have to do with hair on my forehead where i thought i was a prophete when im manic i dont think much about BDD it stops bugging me.
  8. i also feel like i had more motivation in sport etc like i spent hours at gym working out and swimming now i dont have that energy its sad.
  9. i had a manic episode while i was on geodon and zoloft 150 does it mean im bipolar? im on lithium now and dont feel optimistic and self confident like i was on zoloft why is that...
  10. I think when ur on 3 antipsychotics and get off one that doesnt count im talking about weaning from antipsychotics without switching or replacing the aap
  11. Hi i was on 120 mg of geodon for almost half a year now im supposed to get off i dont know what to expect i mean if the taper is slow like 20 mg every 2 weeks will i be able to function normally i mean work gym etc? Im also scared of getting td in the weaning process... has anyone here got off geodon or antipsychotic without switching to another antipsychotic? Im currently on lithium 900 mg and geodon 120 mg i take both before sleep...what shall i expect?
  12. My answer for u is very simple can i bipolar 1 with psychosis take lsd?
  13. What about tardive dyskensia when ur withdrawing from an antipsychotic will it persist i mean right now i dont have signs of td but i will start geodon withdrawl soon.. so do u think ill be ok i tried once to lower the dose not by my pdoc instructions from 120 to 80mg i experienced td symptoms for 5 hours then it went away could anyone explain this to me . I was on 80 for a almost a week then my pdoc told me to return to 120 and shes the one who decides the withdrawl program. I had also td signs when i was increasing the dose from 80 to 120 for 5 hours my tongue did involuntary movements than it stopped completly....
  14. Well for me being manic is like i have another identity my other identity loves power violence speak with self confidence thinks night and day about sex looking for dangerous adventures and cant stay still i feel restless cant stop speaking when i was at college people thought that i have split identity or something like that that was before i knew what bipolar is or been diagnosed correctly i didnt even think there was something wrong with me
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