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About christi4n

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  1. Well, not counting the horrible year I had when I stopped taking Paxil (see first post) I'm on it for 14 years now. It's still working great. Maybe it'll never poop out...
  2. Only sideeffect I have is I need about 9 hours of sleep now. Pretty sure it would help you but there is a price to pay: you might be bound to it for the rest of your life.
  3. I can really recommend Paxil, Catwoman. Thanks for sharing your story. Pretty sure it is like you suggested. 1st time I had no suicidal thoughts at all, 2nd time I had them every day for about two months.
  4. Thank you JT! Thought Citalopram might really just be equal to a placebo (like many articles about SSRIs in general suggest) but glad to hear it's not. Good that everyone has a few options to choose from.
  5. If by 360 you mean 180 then absolutely! 100%! For me Paroxetine is a magic bullet. Only sideeffects are it kills all emotions and I need 10 hours of sleep instead of 8. But in the end I only had bad emotions so it's a godsend that they're gone. I don't even take the original Paxil/Seroxat/Paroxat. It's just a generic. The substance completely frees me from my two main issues: social phobia and depression. It's the only SSRI that works this effectively against both. It also makes me sleep really well, I take it in the evening. I think it should be classified outside the SSRI-group. Citalopram and Fluoxetin (Prozac) had no positive effects on me at all. If you think you've tried every SSRI so far but haven't tried Paroxetine yet you should really give it a try.
  6. Thank you for the supportive reply! It already kicked in after 3 months when I increased the dosage, but it took 4 more months until I was completely free of any symptoms. Definitely won't go off Paxil cold-turkey again. But I think I won't taper either. Too afraid of being without protection. I intend to take it for the rest of my life.
  7. 1 year later now. Decided to give an update on this because I remember how desperate I was back then and was searching for paxil-success stories. Three days after my last post I had my first (and only) real suicide attempt on June 1st 2016 around 5am (after I couldn't sleep again) so I was still far from being safe. A couple of days later I luckily had vacation for three weeks. Felt terrible but at least I didn't have to work. After the vacation I broke down and gave up. Talked to my boss that I'm severely ill and won't be able to go to work. Got really lucky that he allowed me to work from home for a few months. With every month I felt better and better. Paroxetine finally fully worked again. By December my depression was completely wiped away and I didn't feel any fear anymore. I don't feel anything anymore tbh. but that's okay. If you're really desperate HANG IN THERE! The first two months unfortunately were terrible and it takes about half a year until it's working properly but it does work (unlike Citalopram). I now have ZERO depression and ZERO fears. I'm basically invincible. And happy. Btw., since August 1st my dosage is 30mg. The increase from 20 to 30mg worked wonders. Instantly felt a lot better.
  8. 6 days ago, on Monday, I was suicidal walking at the railroads. Got lucky no train came by, my wife that I wanted to say my last words to talked me out of it on the phone. Today, day 25 on Paroxetine, I have no death wish at all anymore, no depressive feelings and I feel safe. Zombie mode IS back. I still have depressive thoughts but my condition has changed extremely in the last days. Looks like Paroxetine (and my wife) may have saved my life.
  9. Day 24: For the first time this year I woke up with a brightened mood today. Thought "am I reborn?". Over the course of the day I felt protected again. In the afternoon felt a bit anxious inside, but still protected. I'm really hopeful now. Zombie mode is back it seems. Btw., zombie mode is an exaggeration, it's more like a slight 'phase shift'. I'm here, but not completely.
  10. Day 23: felt protected today, I think it's starting to work! No anxiety, almost no depressive feelings, only negative thoughts and worries again (a lot though).
  11. Been taking the med on 1pm in the last days so I don't have to start my work days with side effects. But today (day 22) I didn't get any side effects. Also there were zero depressive feelings! Just negative thoughts and worries. Maybe it's starting to get better. I also have substantially increased appetite.
  12. Paroxetine (Paxil/Seroxat) is the best SSRI for social phobia/anxiety in my opinion. It's also the only SSRI that is officially approved to treat social phobia.
  13. It was in this forum I think, an old post from 2006 or 2005 where a female doctor told about her study from 2004 saying that SSRIs destroy serotonine metabolism which leads to depression and other really bad things. Couldn't find the post now and I'd rather stop thinking about this... Thanks for the continued insight.
  14. I'd actually welcome some weight gain (also like that about Paxil). I feel more secure if I'm not too thin. So because of that and because of anxiety I'd try Cymbalta before Bupropion. Will wait until August though when I finally have a pdoc. I have such good memories of Paroxetine that I'm willing to give it three months to work. On another note: Is it true that long term SSRI use (or serotonine reuptake inhibition in general) destroys the brain's ability to produce serotonine which leads to very bad things?
  15. Dunno, maybe Bupropion or Cymbalta. Guess I'll let my pdoc decide after I have told him about my exact problems. Can't clear the Paxil dosage increase with my pdoc because I don't have one before August 1st. Only have a GP now.
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