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clark2201

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  1. I have suffered from major depression and social anxiety since the age of 16. Im 32 years old now. have been through a lot of stuff in the last 5 years. wife cheated and asked for divorce. been separated from her for 5 years and in divorce now. met another woman in 2012. we had a kid together but then i found out she hid stuff from me and lied. for the last 3 years she has told me everyday she loves me and misses me so in march i decided to give her another chance just to turn around and find out she was lying to me again and hiding stuff from me. basically cheating. ive had a few suicide attempts in the last 3 years. my first one was in 2013. after that everything went down hill it seems. lost a good paying job, my car, my apartment, my friends. and ever sicne then i cant seem to hold a job. every woman i let my heart out to just stomps on it. dont have any friends. live with my brother and sleep on the couch. anyways first time i cut was when i was 18. it was only one time but still. i never cut again...till today. i just feel emotionally exhausted and the pain just helps me to stop thinking about things for a while. Im not sure what else to do. I feel like im to my breaking point. doesnt help im drinking today also. first drink in 6 months. in my mind i guess cutting is better than other situations. ive tried counseling and different meds thoughout the years but nothing has helped. so now im on my own. sorry for the long post [edited out specific method of self harm]
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