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About wookie

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    Arrrrrrgh snort snort

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  1. I think in dialogue. Sometimes images. Sometimes I attach too much emotion to my words and thoughts which can be hard. I sometimes just think in static fuzz.
  2. I bought tofu because my store I ordered from was out of meat. I will never again eat tofu. I've had it prepared well before by someone that knows what they're doing. I can't make it well enough to be edible.
  3. I heard about it. Mother nature is really taking the piss out of us these days.
  4. I've officially stopped giving a fuck. No martha Stewart projects, no crafting shit. Just wallowing in my own filth watching netflix. This is the life.
  5. Eating. More eating. Watching people choosing Fukushima as a tourist destination. Thinking about exercising. Thinking... thinking...
  6. I take quiet moments and forgiveness as it comes. My landlord is human. So are the other tenants. We're just stuck in this situation.
  7. I'm someone who is not as privileged I guess. Whatever that means. I share a house with people who do not clean up after themselves and are more exposed due to being delivery drivers. They pick up nothing and it was assumed I was a free cleaning lady for them. My landlord wanted me to be a go between communicator (free of charge) for them because he's afraid of covid-19 and doesn't want to pay a superintendent. Fuck him. I stopped cleaning the hallways. That is my landlord's job. The guys upstairs do not know how to clean a lint trap. I've decided it's no longer my duty. It's my landlord's. I've stopped sharing the laundry because I was the only one cleaning the lint trap. It's not my job. I'm not here to get sick and potentially die from their cluelessness. They can burn down the house by not cleaning the lint trap. It's their problem. The landlord knows the problems and should fix that himself. I'm not putting myself on the line because someone is too lazy, cheap or fearful to play their role. You wanted to be a landlord so be one, and pay people a stipend if you expect them to clean up after other's shit.
  8. I don't know what is happening to me. I am talking to a bridging clinic and they're concerned for mania. The 125mg of trazadone seems to be doing less and less for sleep. And during this week it did barely anything. I slept almost nothing this week until I took an ativan hammer to my face for the past two days to knock me out. My thinking was like this: Bitch, you gotta move. You're landlord rarely fixes a lock, you found your lock broken and your door open. It could just be nothing gets fixed and the lock just disintegrated, but this is bad. Tells landlord about lock. He brushes it off. Tells him again after catching him in the hall. He says he'll fix it in 2 days. I come home the next day after going to Walmart and shoppers drugmart and I can't get in the door. My immunocompromised neighbour can't make it budge, and now we've broken social distancing just to get me in the fucking door. It doesn't open. The landlord says he'll be by in a few hours with a new lock. I decide try to at least wash my coat. The washing machine was broken. In the meantime I call a friend, crack open a bottle of red wine and proceed to drink in my driveway while my friend comes to get me. I get picked up and wash my clothes at my friend's and stay the night. I beg to stay the two weeks at their place and said I can't deal with the noise at my place. I can't stay at my friend's though for whatever reason. The week is a blur. I decide to make my way out to the town I am looking to move to. Barely any sleep and 6 hours of driving. I make it. Go to the bank. See two places. Make a tentative deal with a potential roommate but I am cautious. Decide not to take my own apartment because I am laid off. Don't sign anything and don't give any money to anyone. I have a crying panic attack on the phone with my aunt who tells me to calm down. I call my glorious Dr/pharmacy and get some ativan for sleep. Talk to them about putting me back on seroquel to let me ride out this shit storm with better moods and sleep. They do delivery. I teleconference a psych and my family doctor okays my prescription. I get home and now my outside door is locked and broken and I can't get in. A tenant lets me in and I feed my cat. I lose my shit at the landlord. I then stayed at my friend's and I end up barely sleeping. I went home the next day. Took my 1.5 mg of ativan and drift off to sleep for oh/roughly 16 hours. When I wake. I take .5 mg of ativan to float through my day. I sleep more. At 11pm (I think) I take a 1mg of ativan. My dreams are littered with footsteps and noises upstairs. I wake up 2am. Take another 1mg of ativan. I forget if I am even bothered with taking trazadone. I'm so exhausted I fall back to sleep. I wake at 7am have cereal and crash out and wake in the afternoon. I just explained to one of the tenants that not cleaning out the lint trap in the dryer can cause a fire. I don't think any of them have a single fucking clue about this.🤦‍♀️
  9. I am sorry to see you go...

  10. It was a small elephant, and still alive
  11. This sums up my sentiment of Facebook. You're not actually connected to people. Some family show they care. My old friends as well. But no one can tell what my inner experiences are. Maybe I post the odd humourous or political article. Some of my friends think fb literally steals your soul and when we go out we tell people not to post our images. Some of my friends on fb come across like assholes and I've lost friends because of fb. I tried reaching out to someone in my past and the only answer I got were two email hacks. Blocking me would have given me a kinder answer. Not even sure if it was them but I just know it was from a town they had a business in or had lived in at one point. For a while I had a catfish who seemed to really want to get a hold of me across multiple accounts. They seemed to be connected to multiple women's accounts. Seemed to rip off pictures of men as their identity, but had a painfully obvious MO and manner of speaking that you could out in 2 seconds. I just thought, fuck it, if people actually care they can speak to me by calling me and hanging out with me.
  12. I've got music that can be a bit of a tear jerker
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