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wookie

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Everything posted by wookie

  1. I just feel like I'm dumping on someone else, or feel it's not bad enough. Anyone else feel the same.
  2. I struggle with this more than I'd like to admit. I literally cry at nothing. I laugh too. My moods have a rollercoaster cycle. I could go from super sad to laughing hysterically. If I get depressed your sure to see me cry an awful lot but have moments of laughing. It makes me feel like nut.
  3. I cried like a four year having a meltdown at a supermarket the other day. I am not sure how I managed sleep afterwards. Going to the gym? Music. I listen to loud music, followed by soft music. Crosswords are a nice distraction
  4. I don't want to go over every detail but I disclosed a bit including sleep issues and some trauma history. I became so forgetful that day. I forgot the date of the appointment, lost my headphones, my wallet, and got another date mixed up. I am not always that absent minded. I felt okay after leaving. When I got home I wrote some stuff that was sort of related to the trauma and cried uncontrollably for a few hours. Then I slept. I just felt flooded. And what I wrote wasn't even about a trauma. I guess it was the trauma of a lost relationship and I realize some things I hadn't dealt with. It's the broken relationships and just trying to have relationships after some of the stuff that went on. I cling to ideals I guess and people that I think don't make me feel traumatized. But they're gone and I feel I have trouble connecting and having healthy relationships.
  5. Granted! I want to become a human centipede and run some races. That'd be sick. Think of the shoe sponsorships. I could wear all my favourite shoes- at once! I'd be running in my flowing skirt past some Kenyans. But my landlord wants to increase my rent due to my freakish size now I wish I could get a better night's sleep.
  6. The real question is is will there be a budget for soap and showers I am going to start an underground railway so y'all can come stay with me in Canada
  7. Yep he sure is. Thankfully he isn't running my country but we do have a few idiot dough boys who inspire the same racist bigotry up here. Thankfully, guns are illegal.
  8. @Blahblah It seems to be the way with him; incite hate and then step away and blame a specific subset of our population rather than the other issues, like easy access to guns and the hateful rhetoric he spews. He's a dangerous narcissist. Also the Las Vegas gunman seemed to be completely sane and calculated.
  9. https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/08/trump-mass-shootings-mental-illness-issue-el-paso-dayton.html
  10. Yes. But I was only prescribed it prn. I never needed more than .5 mg of clonazepam and I never needed a lot of ativan either. I found it helped with work anxiety. It just isn't necessary especially if I am not doing anything on the weekend.
  11. I was thinking I might try the lamotrigine once off seroquel. If does the tachycardia thing again without the seroquel on board I'll consider other options.
  12. It is so very hard to diagnose: hypomania can really be pleasant and look nothing like illness. I went through a happy phase heading into my 20's that is hard to even tell if I was hypo, or euthymic. Stressful event happens and everything slides downhill. My depression was strange, and horribly paranoid afterwards. The doctor even said maybe you're a bit bipolar. Then no one agreed. Was a bit hypo when I tried topomax but was very even keel after adjusting to it. Thought the up phase reminded me of my early 20s. But when you're 20 being vivacious and happy is typical right? On antidepressants I always felt not quite right and anxious. Adding clonazepam seemed to keep me on even keel. So hard to decide what is going on. My doctors can't even decide.
  13. I was untreated for a long time. My first signs of trouble began in my teens (eating disorder, self harm, suicidal ideation, depression, reactionary psychosis /ptsd)
  14. I had an up phase (I think) in my early 20's. That's it. I was happy at age 28 to 30 then depressed with a panic disorder by age 32
  15. I think hypomania can be poorly understood. Dysphoria and anger seem to be hallmarks when things aren't well for me. I am up and down at the same time. Agitated, can't sleep, argumentative. The world is going to shit. I have no magical plans to save it. I'd rather watch it burn.
  16. They have worked. I took 40mg of citalopram for 3 years with no ill affect. Low doses lexapro have worked as well. I might stay on low doses of seroquel. Tried abilify for a few days and it was horribly activating.
  17. Coming off meds. My heart raced on seroquel and it was established that it was rapidly increasing my heart rate by my psychiatrist. Same issue on Lamotrigine. Don't know if it was the adding it to the seroquel that created a synergistic effect and affected my heart rate. Lamotrigine seemed to be working but didn't play well with me and both my family doctors disagree with the bipolar dx and my new psychiatrist doesn't believe I have the disorder and he suggested coming off all meds. New psych said he sees people on 300 mg of lamictal and my 25mg at the time was nothing. Still on seroquel but lowering the dose slowly.
  18. Hello, I was diagnosed bipolar 2 last year, and have gone through medication trials. I believe I responded well to meds but a doctor at my family health clinic thinks I am not bipolar. The head doctor thinks I am possibly bipolar 2 with perhaps add/adhd. My new psychiatrist thinks anxiety disorder and ptsd but no bipolar. Emergency doctor was concerned for bipolar 1 but I don't see it. No mania. Just agitated depression. I said that I prefer my psychiatrist treat me. Just don't want too many cooks in the kitchen The bipolar meds (seroquel) seemed to work but gave me a rapid heart rate. The lamictal seemed to work but also jacked up my heart rate. The doctors think I'm sensitive emotionally to the meds and do well on smaller doses. I am more physically sensitive to meds than emotionally. This would work fine for me if my side effects didn't happen Down to 100 mg of seroquel and my hr is lower. I am doing ok. It might just be ativan and meditation. Current psych wants me off all meds. Anxiolytics help me chill though and are necessary to get me through life. Is this a common experience for people with bipolar to experience shifting dx depending on the Doctor you see.
  19. From GlaxoSmithKline website: "Cardiac Conduction Abnormalities: One placebo-controlled trial that compared electrocardiograms at baseline and during treatment, demonstrated a mild prolongation of the P- R interval associated with LAMICTAL administration. The prolongation was statistically significant but clinically insignificant. Patients with significant cardiovascular disease or electrocardiographic abnormalities were, however, systematically excluded from clinical trials. Thus, LAMICTAL should be used with caution in patients with cardiac conduction abnormalities, and in patients taking concomitant medications which depress AV conduction." Not sure what to make of that. Seeing new psychiatrist tomorrow and will just going over info.
  20. I dropped the seroquel to 150mg but increased my lamictal dose to 100mg and it climbed higher above 100 bpm after the lamictal dose. I was at 200mg seroquel and when I increased lamictal to 50mg I noticed my heart rate climbed. I was on 200mg seroquel for a month prior before adding lamictal and it was almost normal. Just noticed it climbing after increasing lamictal to 50mg.
  21. It's a side effect I developed months within starting it 🙁. I would say as early 3 months of starting it and took me another 6 months of saying that 80 to 110bpm was not my usual resting hr.
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