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Everything posted by huntforbravery

  1. therapist agrees that I most likely have pure obsessional ocd of all the sub-types

  2. one of my obsessions is over the labels I use to define myself. my sexuality (which, I know, is it's own sub-type within the framework of OCD), my subcultures, my hobbies. I feel like I can't call myself a nerd, or a writer. as if I somehow am not qualified. or I'm using the word wrong. or it just doesn't apply to me the way it applies to other people. labels eat at me, I can't stop thinking about them, but they all feel wrong. nothing fits, nothing's right. but I need to know what is right. I need to sort myself into boxes so I make sense. so I'm not chaos made flesh. I feel like if I can't define myself, with certainty, that I'm not a person. does anyone else have this?
  3. had a phone call with my parents that went well but left me feeling sad and frustrated. talking it out with a friend right now I'm tapering, too. I was misdiagnosed and given a med that doesn't work for what I'm now told I have. hope yours goes ok!
  4. I'm starting to recognize my own positive attributes our rescue cat's learning to trust us my best friend told me she misses me last night, and how everything feels better when we're together <3
  5. finally got a call from the new resident psych I'll be seeing. she gave me a same-day appointment. so feeling a bit hopeful I've always had to work hard in school too. it's frustrating, for sure
  6. I've talked to my therapist about it, as my bff does it regularly and it helps her a lot with her PTSD
  7. I used to want to, but I think I'd get too emotionally involved. I'm highly empathetic and would probably end up a wreck
  8. my old therapist equated hyperbole with flat-out lies, so any joke I made just seemed to make her mistrustful
  9. angry. hurt. upset that I have to pretend to be neither
  10. ugh sorry to hear that I've been trying to let myself tic freely, even if I'm in public. because when I try not to have tics, my tension grows. so I'm waving my hands, talking to myself, jerking my head... it doesn't look neurotypical, but it's actually helping?
  11. you don't ever have to forgive someone, even if they love you. you deserve to be safe, more than she deserves to not feel guilt over hurting you. I know that's not well-phrased, but I guess I'm trying to say that it isn't your fault if she feels guilty. it IS her fault if you feel unsafe.
  12. I really relate to a lot of your post. I don't worry about the government watching me, but the universe/god(s)/deity (my agnosticism doesn't make the fear any less intense unfortunately). the rest, yes, I didn't know ocd counted for me either. I think a lot of us are told a lot of bs about our dxes. but you aren't a bad person for having intrusive thoughts, and you don't deserve them
  13. I may be done with group therapy. my perspective is so different from most people in there. I end up feeling alienated the whole time

  14. vision's been REALLY bad lately. I think it's from getting off of Effexor -_-

  15. Used to identify as an atheist, but kept being afraid God was judging my every move. Now I say agnostic to quiet the war over that in my brain. Mom's Catholic, so I can relate to what you posted a lot.
  16. Just got diagnosed with OCD 

    1. aura


      I'm sorry to hear that. I also have OCD; it's a beast. I hope the dx leads to more appropriate treatment.

    2. huntforbravery


      Thanks, I hope so too. It explains why usual treatments haven't been working properly.

  17. I got diagnosed an hour ago (no exaggeration) and instantly thought of what sites should be updated. So that's one of mine. Updating friends and social media. I have to be online, my bios have to be perfect, and every post has to convey the right thing. If I don't someone will be in danger I could have prevented.
  18. sorry I haven't been offering much support here lately. I'm just in a really bad place right now. the support I have in me is going to my best friends. I hope I have more to spread around soon

  19. I got turned down for disability

  20. feeling like I need to take part in Camp NaNoWriMo cause most of my writing group is. the problem is I'm a workaholic like the rest of my family. I'll refuse to eat until something gets done. it's how I finished university without pulling a single all-nighter while having serious mental health issues. if I even set a low goal for myself, I'll wreck myself to meet it. (gonna refer to my friends by first letter for now, for ease). E agrees I shouldn't. but I still feel like I have to, or the rest of the group will judge me. they won't. but. feels like it

  21. - I have an appointment with a new therapist! - I've been standing up for myself more - I have cake flavoured vape oil
  22. I was usually too nervous for chat anyway, but a hang-out thread would be cool
  23. what if a trickster god is the one responsible for comedically timed dice rolls in D&D
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