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About Ari887

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  1. I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and sharing their own stories. I've been back at work and everyone there has been really supportive. After talking with my boss we agreed that not only does it help me personally but I am more productive at work when I have at least one day off a week to de-stress. Also I'm looking for a good doctor that my insurance will cover. I didn't have the best experience with the last one so I'm a bit nervous, but I know it's something that I really need to do. Looking back there were definitely signs that I was not coping well with the extra stress and headed for a meltdown but I ignored them. Partially because my team was relying on me and I didn't want to let anyone down and partially because even though I've been dealing with my mental illness (Bipolar 2 according to my last doc) for years I still have a hard time asking for help when I'm struggling.
  2. Thanks for the support guys. I'm not exactly glad other people experience stuff like this but it is comforting to know there are people out there who get it. My boss and coworker were very kind about the whole thing but I guess I just worry they won't take me seriously anymore. Plus there's just this part of me that hates that anyone had to see me like that. I stopped going to therapy a while ago because I've seen doctors on and off for years and I just started to feel so over the whole thing. I was doing ok and managing things fine on my own until recently. Clearly that that wasn't the best decision.
  3. Today I had a total breakdown at work. I'm talking ugly crying while my boss held me before sending me home to "rest". There's been some staffing issues and I've had to take on a lot of extra responsibilities so I think the stress finally pushed me over the edge. Right before I had this weird experience where it was like everyone was speaking in slow motion or maybe I was thinking slowly? I don't know. I could barely follow a normal conversation and completely blanked out at one point (just a minute or two but still). Afterwards I could tell that I had still been working during this time but I didn't remember completing it. Then it was like I could hear mumbling and indistinct whispers that were so loud it was hard to focus on the actual people in front of me. I'm not sure if I was hallucinating or having an anxiety attack or some combination. Has anyone else had any episodes at work or other public places? I am beyond embarrassed to show my face again after this melt down. There's a difference between someone knowing you have a mental illness and seeing the reality. Anyone have any advice on how to deal?
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