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Anodyne Oblivion

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About Anodyne Oblivion

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    Dolphin SCUBA Instructor

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  1. This. I wish I lived far away from people. But I'm enjoying not having to turn on the furnace at least
  2. I cannot take medications that affect serotonin for any extended period of time. I can handle an Imitrex, but I still get unpleasant side effects. It's just that they go away sooner and also don't result in me being locked in the loony bin for four or five days. Long (but probably familiar) story.... Thanks, Effexor..... >:\ So anyway, like the title says, are there any modern antidepressants which are not of the SNRI or SSRI class? I know Wellbutrin's an NDRI but I'm not aware of any others like that. I've been taking Wellbutrin for a VERY long time. I've taken as much as 450mg
  3. The thing that troubles me about this, madmax15, is that Jesus preached to separate yourself from your belongings. All these things tie you to earth and are a distraction from piety. That the preacher is baiting congregants with promises of wealth is VERY troubling to me. It's like saying "If you donate your car to me, all of your credit card debt will disappear. I donated my car and now I have no debt!" The two statements do not follow. Your prosperity has nothing to do with your tithing. By the logic of the New Testament, if it WAS rewarded with prosperity, then it would be your responsibi
  4. I took Xanax and it made me sleepy without decreasing my anxiety. So we tried Ativan. After 4 days I was ready to kill myself in a VERY out of character manner. Luckily I recognized that it was due to the Ativan and sent the bottle to the box with all the other poisons I've tried that failed. Next, I tried taking a longer-acting one (Klonopin) and even that one has me fucked up the next day, albeit less-so. It's *almost* a solution in dire situations. Almost. But not. If I wasn't so fucking anxious I'd be less depressed. Or so I thought. Turns out the only energy I have is nervous energy,
  5. Staring blankly through you

  6. Thanks CrazyRedhead. I am not an impulsive person, just fed up. Talking about it is helpful. Being in a hospital is the complete opposite of helpful for me, considering 75% of the reason I'm livid is because of the medical establishment. I'd also lose my job. Which would put me in a place where I might actually need to check myself in. But now? I'm just angry and resentful at life and doctors. I'm sick of being given a side-eye. I'm sick of not being taken seriously. I've seen every single profession they've told me to be seen by. And no one knows anything. I mean, technically, I've almost die
  7. I feel like my stomach is full of glass shards. Eating temporarily dulls the pain and then subsequently increases it. I can't win. I either eat all the time or never. I want to throw up so badly right now. It hurts so much.
  8. 25 years of doctors tests to figure out why I'm in constant pain, and the results always say I'm totally fine. Everything's in my head. Maybe they'll have an easier time finding what's wrong if I take the contents of my head and paint the wall with them. Disclaimer: I don't own a gun, nor do any of my friends. Clearly, this dream of mine cannot become a reality. I have metric tons of suffocating rage in my body and I can't even do anything with it. I've been binge eating for 3 days and deserve to die. I don't know why I"m posting this. I'll probably delete it. I d
  9. I have poor short-term memory and abominable working memory. Visual memory, on the other hand? Above average. That being said, I likely have mild frontal lobe damage from an accident in kindergarten.
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