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About inanna

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  1. Thanks for asking, Antecedent, I really appreciate it. That Nietzsche quote describes it well. I started to get a handle on the ED symptoms after a month or so. It was extremely uncomfortable, but doable and worth it. Nowhere near as hard as recovering in the first place. I did get that space in my mind back.
  2. echolocation, I think that's a good explanation. It is reassuring to see a reasonable, coherent explanation of why I would do this. I will tell my doctor something about this the next time I see her just so she can keep an eye on it even though I don't want help with it right now. I can even briefly explain what's going on to friends if they are concerned instead of going into full cover-up mode like I used to. It's kind of hard to admit to, but it's not that big of a deal. Now it's been a week since I came home. I'm almost physically recovered and the police have backed down since my st
  3. I think I will bring it up at our next appointment. I don't really want help to stop doing this anymore, that went fast, but I guess it's relevant to her as my doctor given the medications I'm taking. Thank you
  4. I had anorexia in my teens and I'm in my twenties. Now I'm suddenly unable or unwilling to eat normally. I would consider myself recovered in most ways for about eight years. I'm at a healthy weight. I eat all kinds of food. I don't even know if I think about eating and weight more than most people do. I get weird about food sometimes, especially when I'm stressed. Then I only want to eat my old "safe foods" or nothing at all. But then I reign it in. I have tried to lose weight a couple of times since recovery but I had to abort mission because my mind was just flooded with ED-related tho
  5. Cerberus, I wish you weren't so right about me. A part of me just wants to be stable, but a bigger part wants to use hypomania as a superpower and make up for all the time I lost being ill. I feel invincible, like bipolar gravity doesn't apply to me and what goes up must never ever come down. Thank you for calling it out. Today I saw my therapist as planned. During our conversation she kept ending her sentences with the phrase "if you really have bipolar disorder", which slightly annoyed me. When I asked her why she said the referral papers from my last clinic said MDD. It's fucking unbel
  6. Thank you to everyone who responded. There is a lot of information here that I didn't know. I didn't know anyone took antipsychotics PRN, and not continuously I didn't know hypomania in people with bipolar II was commonly treated with anything except watchful waiting, although I hoped there was something I didn't know about kindling theory, and now I'm worried I'm still hypomanic, but I got a full night of sleep on Wednesday after taking mirtazapine so I feel a lot more sane. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow, and I think I'm going to ask her about seeing a psy
  7. When I went on Lamictal my psychiatrist told me that if I got a rash I should just call his office and he would fit me in any time and exclude SJS so that I could keep taking the medication. He said about half his patients end up getting some kind of rash at some time during the titration period because the titration period is so long, and rashes can appear for any reason or sometimes no known reason at all. Especially in someone who has eczema, or had it as a child like I did. He was annoyed with people in the ER who would take anyone with a rash off Lamictal while barely looking at it, becau
  8. I have bipolar II, and I have been hypomanic for about two weeks. I would like to come down now, because the lack of sleep is getting to me and I'm not that euphoric or even productive anymore. I'm trying to utilize the extra energy while making reasonable choices to not go higher up, but at this point I would just like to come down and get some sleep. I'm wired physically and sitting still is close to impossible, but it feels like something in my brain is tired and needs to rest. Evidence says I'm not at my best right now, at least I don't code as well as I usually do, even though I have a lo
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